Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Marriage & Divorce

My mother-in-law is ruining my marriage.?
Find answers to your legal question.

My mother-in-law is ruining my marriage.?

My husband and I have been married for going on 4 years together for 6. His mother lives with us now. She is 54 years old and has been married 4 times. Her most recent one ended about a year ago. She moved in with us in October with the promise that she would find work and a place to live. At the time I was pregnant with our 3rd child and I very reluctantly agreed for her to move in, with the promise that she would be moved out before the baby arrived. She had a job right next door to our house and I thought things were looking up, she kept the job for 3 days. Then she said she couldn't work with the other ladies. Anyway, she reminds me a lot of a 16 year old girl. She is constantly complaining about where her life is, but she refuses to change it. She lays guilt trips on my husband and tries to make him feel bad for things that have gone wrong in her life. He says he is fed up with her, but another day goes by and he is fine with her again. My thing is, I want my family to be a family. I want it to be just my husband, our kids and I. I have been unhappy ever since she moved in here. But whenever I try to tell him how it bothers me, he always says he doesn't want to talk about it. She has caused many fights between us and has even started some. One time she started a fight so big that he ended up kicking her out and then a week later let her come back. I express my unhappiness a lot, but it never seems to be noticed. It's getting to the point that I am starting to resent my husband and I don't know what to do. I love my husband very much, but sometimes I feel like she is always put first.I don't think I am being selfish, I think that she needs to get her life together. I mean, she is 54 and has no job, no car and nothing to call her own. I hate that I let everything that is wrong with her interrupt my life so much. Please, any advice??


Give her 30 days.

Have your husband take her to coffee somewhere away from the house, and give her the deadline there.

He has to use words like "disruptive", and "chaos", and "black cloud of negativity" when he describes how she is affecting HIS home, his marriage, and his KIDS (this can't be about just you or just him ... it's affecting everyone - trust me.)

Your man is stuck in between the two women who mean the most to him - the one who gave him life, and the one who made that life worth living. I can understand how he's on the fence about this, but show him this post, and this suggestion.

Sweetie, you can't have mom come between you and your family anymore. You have done the best you can by her, but by HER behavior, your mom is NOT honoring your generosity. She is taking complete advantage of you, so unless she can be an adult and stop causing all of this discord, she has to find her own place. YOU have to take control of the situation, or you might as well visualize her sleeping in bed between you and your wife, cos that's where it'll end up.

Best of luck, hon. I hope that he can see things from your side of the bed and that his mom isn't in it. *big hug*

sounds like it,,,,,,,,,,should of picked a better mil

first of all you let her in your house.you felt bad for her.you should've knew about how she is.she being married all those times and now you know why.and it looks like it be best you find somewhere to go for the time being.because its hard for your hubby to actually kick out his mom for good.or just tell her shes the maid around the house.she does all the cleaning.you want her to work or be out of your hair but that look like its going to be impossible to do.the way i see it you're going to have to grin and bare it or give your hubby and autimatium.you or her and stick by your words and be ready for anything.why cant you try and get along with her?instead of being upset with her why not be a friend to her?find her a man!!! lol.put her up for sale.do one of those ads.pay a man to keep her.lol.

As much as this should be your husband's duty to kick out his own mother, I think it's time for you too. Your husband from the sounds of it, doesn't have the guts to kick his own mother out for good. So, its time you tell her where the door is. Do not let her back in, don't let your husband let his mother back in.

Sit them both down together and tell them how you feel. Express you feelings, your concerns. Tell your MIL that she is a grown woman it's time she lives on her own. Tell your husband to choose between you and his mother. He will probably say you, and with that, he needs to once and for all kick his mother out for good. Tell them both, that you want to continue to have your family (you, husband and kids) growing up in the house without a mother around.

In the end, it's time where there is no parent of anyone's living with you and your husband. You all are adults, it's time to live your own lives.

You really have to have a serious talk with your husband. If he says that he doesn't want to talk about it, then ask when he will feel like talking about it because this isn't just going to disappear unless you guys do something. Now of course from his point of view, it is his MOTHER. The woman that gave birth and raised him, without her there'd be no "you two". But I mean you can talk about instead of kicking her out, helping her. Like helping her find a job, or helping her find an apartment. Even if it's not too far if he feels bad about kicking her out. But for the sake of not only you two, but for your children you need to get rid of that woman. After all, do you really want you children growing up in an environment where you two would be fighting all the time? No. So take some action.

i + i
Apparently your husband is content to let her stay regardless of how she behaves or how you feel. He says he doesn't want to talk about it, so just start packing. When he ask why, you can tell him that it was his choice not to talk about it. Tell him when he IS ready to talk about it, you will be too.

If you were smart you would get her out now.....

 Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:  
User Email:   
Post a comment:

Legal Discussion Forum

 Need a little insight about cheaters?
what does that say about the person that was cheated on? My ex and I were together for two years and she cheated on me for about a year of that time. Then after a silly fight she runs off and gets ...

 How do you hurt someone who is cheating on you?
my husband is out right now with another woman I am 99% sure how do I hurt him like he is hurting me , if he doesent love me like i love him . I could leave but have no where to go and we have a ...

 My boyfriend said something inconsiderate to me a year ago but i've forgotten it?
the funny thing is my best friend prolly still remembers it (i told her about the incident when it happened a year ago). so my question is should i ask my friend to remind me what it was that my bf ...

 Why are so many people opposed to getting married or having children?
I'm 26 and engaged. I have friends my age that are still out partying and being immature and they tell me they can't imagine getting married "so young." But it's not like I�...

 Will my relationship work?
I have married someone 10 years elder to me and having a child from her previous marriage. My parents are against it and do not agree to it. I have great affection for the child and the child also ...

 I'm a mexican woman living in mexico.Can i sue my baby's american dad (he got disabled) for child support?
He lives in mss and got disabled because of an MS diagnosis. He and his 24 yo son owe me money and they don't want to pay. I feel sorry 4 him but before we both knew he was sick he acted in a ...

 What are the maid of Honor duties? what should i be aware of?
ok so my friend just asked me last night to be her Maid of Honor for her September wedding. I have no clue what the "duties" are... any help would be GREAT!!! How do you write a speach for ...

 Have you ever dated or married someone a lot smarter than you?
My husband took an IQ test in high school and scored a 138 and one before college and scored a 142 to see if he could get in college for free. I don't have a problem with him being smart, but I ...

 Verbal Abuse- I have chosen to stay......?
with my husband who at times will verbally abuse me. Yesterday I was called a piece of s---. This is preempted by him not liking something I do and letting his anger build. He then yells and screams ...

 Undecisive? Changing mind? is it BAD?
Why is it considered bad to change mind and NOT stick to your FIRST decision? I mean, isn't the goal to make THE BEST decision possible, and if so, changing mind before its tooooo far in the ...

 Do you think it was good that Sarkozy had different marriages?

Additional Details
I know that he is human too BUT don't you think it was wrong for him to have a different marriages??? And plus he had children aswell!!...

 Getting along after divorce or separation?
was just wondering if anyone here got along better or stayed friends with their husband or ex-husband after getting a divorce or seperating? If so, what made you finally decide to split up and how ...

 Do u think men get as jealous as women ?

 Why wont my husband go to the hospital?
My husband has thought he had testicular cancer every since he was about 14 years old. He has several if not all of the symptoms of it. I want him to go to the doctors so bad, but he wont. When he ...

 I need some inlaw advise big time not really sure what to do with them......?
Ok me and my wife got married back in march and well ever since I have known my wife her parents have given my sh.it and well I am fed up with it….. We were at my wife’s parents house for Easter ...

 If you wanted to get married & your o/h said 'not yet'...?
Would you wait for them?
How long would you wait?


 How long do you think you should be with someone before you get married to them ?

 If i want to marrie hindu girls can i. i m muslim ?

 Divorce in TN.Please read.?
Is there any one out there in TN who has gone though a divorce without an lawyer? We have two kids but we are in complete agreement on everything. Could someone explain how this works and is it legal?...

 What present have you given to your husband/wife for a wedding anniversary?
Have you ever given one and if yes, what was it and after how many years of marriage/partnership?...

Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Wednesday, February 10, 2016 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links