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iroc
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you might be better off |
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Thomas J
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i grew up with parents who constantly fought. it would have been better if they got divorced. it isn't your fault that they fight. sometimes, relationships just don't work out. |
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j b
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Take it from someone who has divorced parents....it's not your fault and your parents are going to have to work it out if they want to. I know it's devistating to even think about. Just remember that both your parents love you and your brother very much and it has nothing to do with you. God Bless and also speak to someone about your feelings. It's very important to let out whatever you're feeling - even if it's journaling. |
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Jeenie
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Well if they have already set up their mind into it, there is very little that you can do darling. But it is definetly important that your voice your feelings out to them so that they can at least know Am a mother, as a mother I can tell you that we care for our children, we are waiting for you to tell us how you feel. I know it may seen either hard, or scary since they are always fighting, but take a few minutes of their time, ask if you can talk to them . Some us retarded old ppl lol go on thinking that everything is fine with our kids since they are not saying anything to us. One thing though be respectful!, don't yell at them! act as mature as possible, because when parents are already stress they don't need to hear a crazy teen yelling.
May be your family is not into the whole therapy thing, and you don't have to. I think that there is no best therapy then communication. Even if at the end we hear something we didn't want to. Try to sit them on you dinner table and YOU create fun things to do that wont take up much of their time. They may be yelling but they may not be doing it at eachother, they probably are venting out because they are too stress out. So do your part in keeping you conversation and activities to a short time lenght. I would recommend to first tell them how you feel, then ask if there is something that you can do, for example if is a money issue, ask if you need to cut down on you cell's min. and use the house phone instead. Obviously, you can't help if is a relationship thing but you can ease it by creating family activities where you all can participate for at least 20 a week. Help taking care of your little brother, and when your parents yelling like they got no sense remind them IN A RESPECTUFL MANNER that you and your brother are listening and is not appropiate for them to put you thru all that drama. Last, if none of that works and they still getting divorce (hope not!!) look at the bright side, at least you would have two happy parents doing what pleases them instead of one couple of parents destroying you kids and eachother.
Best of lucks to you and your little brother!! |
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justturning40
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If they are arguing while the kids are home things have gotten to a very bad point. Divorce isnt the worst thing in the world. Your parents still love you but it might be a good idea for them to end things. I know you are not happy living in the house while all of this commotion is going on. Take your younger brother out of the house and let your parents know what this is doing to the both of you. Seek family therapy. |
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Cab302
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I'm sorry, but when married couples fight, there is nothing left between them for any consideration. There are no more the feelings of respect, admiration and love. What makes them go at each other all of the time over rides all other considerations such as you and your brother.
Cheer up! If it eventually comes to a breakup as it seems, you and your brother shall not be the first or the last victims of a broken home. Life goes on. You will survive and overcome all the heartaches.
In the meantime, face your studies squarely. Encourage your brother and remain focused on your goals in life. Whether you like it or not, the time is coming when you will have to manage life on your own. The time may come sooner than expected. Remember, it is very important that you keep a cool head all of the time. Above all, pray. May the LORD GOD be with you and guide you. Amen. |
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First L
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You may know why are they actually fighting. Why don't you tell them not to do that, and stop fighting? But I suggest something: never say that you'll leave your home if they don't stop. That wouldn't work. |
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UCLA rox my sox...
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Heather,
I am so sorry that this is happening to you. All I can tell you is that communication is the most important part in a relationship. Maybe your parents don't have that part in their relationship. Maybe you can help them gain that. Or you could tell them that you don't like how they are fighting all of the time. And you could consider marriage counsiling. You and your parents are in my prayers. I hope everything works out. Good luck and God bless you all.
- UCLA rox |
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Boris I
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take them out remind them of their old says how much they loved each other--plus just cause you parents fight does not mean they are gonna divorce |
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justme
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Sometimes it is better to get the problem out in the open instead of letting it sit in the back of their minds and later resent each other. Sometimes it is needed to keep from getting a divorce. Maybe try asking them to see a counselor to show them how to work out their differences instead of heated arguments. |
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Lady
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I am sorry to say that I happen to be one of those parents. I am always arguing with the Father of my kids and yes, we have separated. I try not to do it in front of my children, but sometimes it is inevitable. We have separated but are currently in counseling and i hope for the family sake that it works out. call a family meeting and express your feeling to them. if they care about your feelings they will listen to you. try to research some marriage counselors in your area and present that to them as well. i Hope it end well for you my dear but it might get worse before it gets better. |
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Ann
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Unfortunately Heather, there probably isn't anything you can say to them to keep them from divorcing if this is what they want. However, you can talk to them, once everyone has calmed down and tell them how they are making you feel. Maybe you could ask them to not fight around you and your brother.
I'm sure they both love you two very much and do want the best for you. Their fighting has nothing to do with you. Sometimes adults have a hard time getting along.
Everything will work out one way or another. You and your brother will be fine. You hang in there and be good to your little brother:) |
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Lauren G
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Heather, I think that if you bring it to your parent's attention that their behavior has you fearing a divorce, then maybe it would open their eyes to the good things that they share--you and your brother. I don't think that your parents would ever do anything to make you and your bro feel that way ON purpose. Just let them know, and surely it will all come to the surface.
Good luck, sweetie. |
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Heaven's Messenger
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Yes if you can act grown-up for at least 5 mins. In other words, you have to tell them how it makes you feel when they're fighting and that you think they should try harder for everyone's sake. |
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momof3
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To make them understand your point, I'd interrupt them and say for my sake and my 6yr old bro's sake, can you please just discuss this as grown adults. You don't realize the effect you have on us. You are making us stress out as much as yourselves... Please, consider us when u argue. Hopefully, it will shame them.. We love you both and don't want to hear this going on. |
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goturanswer
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Divorces aren't so bad kid. You get 2 christmases and 2 birthday parties. And the best part is that you and your baby brother won't get ulcers from worrying about your parents fighting all the time. Peace and harmony in a home is ideal and if your parents can't see eye to eye then maybe a divorce is better. You have no idea what they're fighting over or if they've already been through counseling or if someone refuses to go. It's not like when you and your friends get into an argument and all it takes is an I'm sorry and your best buds again. I'm just being real with you. That it's not the end of the world if they get divorced. And if they do it will be because it's in your best interest. No parent feels like a good parent if there kids have to hear them fighting all the time. That's not good for you to hear. Courts would agree with that also. Bottom line, this is out of your hands. And if they do get a divorce it's NOT because you couldn't think of a clever way to get them to stop fighting so don't blame yourself. It has nothing to do with you even though unfortunately it affects you. |
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pughugger
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Unfortunately probably not. You could let them know how badly this makes you and your brother feel. It probably won't help them mend their fences but it may open their eyes, and discuss their problems out of earshot of you and your brother. These are their problems not yours. You and your brother should not be used as pawns. Whatever happens the two of you should be left out of their battles, however for them to stay together for your sake does you all a dis-service. |
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robbie347
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People fight all the time it happens. Try asking them what's wrong. Remember thou that sometimes it's better in the long run to seperate. That doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. |
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Stephanie B
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Well, you should start by telling them that you are worried that this will happen. However, if they decide to get a divorce there is really nothing that you can do to prevent it... Good luck honey! |
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IBSI Special Investigator
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Heather, Tell them that the arguing before you and your little brother is emotionally affecting both of you, And respectfully suggest them to go to a marriage counselor.
By the way, ask them when they are calmed, not when they are arguing. You don't want to be caught in the crossfire.
Best wishes sweetie |
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Grrrr!
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I'm afraid that sometimes adults are unable to work their problems out without fussing and fighting. Maybe your talking to them may slow them down for awhile, but not forever. If the fact that they have a 6 year old son hasn't stopped them, you're just going to have to let the adults work their problems out and hope for the best. Keep your head up, kiddo! |
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Ashley
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Well, my parents always fight, too. Im 14. For my parents, if i say something they just get mad at me for saying it. So, i just let the fight take its course. If i get involved it just makes everything worse, and can make things even harder. If they do decide to get a divorce, it will be for the best, since they always fight, and u and ur brother always have to hear it. I sorry to hear about the whole thing, but i really don't think anything u say is gonna change their mind, i think. I hope i helped. |
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Bud's Girl
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OMG. This brings tears to my eyes. I grew up in the same environment. First, realize that nothing they say or do is either your or your brother's fault. Your parents were never taught how to resolve problems in any other way. What's going on here is Domestic Violence. Please call someone- when your parents aren't around- at a Crisis Center, an Anti-Violence organization. There should be SOMETHING in the Community Services page in the beginning of the phone book. I went through HELL living with my parents; this can affect you in all types of ways. You are a fantastic, brave person for bringing this out in the open. Please make that call right away, and tell them your whole story. It's all confidental except for cases in which there is a threat of suicide or homocide, so you needn't worry! I'll be thinkin' of ya! |
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michelle b
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you should talk to your parents and tell them how you fill andthey shoul take that in and get help or work together as a family to get along but what i would do girl is pray god will answer ur prayer maybe not that day but he will.maybe tell your parents you all should start going to church if u dont already,that help me and my husband...goodluck... |
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OOO! I know! I know!
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Talk to them about your feelings and fears. Marital counseling might help them. |
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Dara
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suggest marriage counseling too them. and try explaining to them the situation that they are putting you and your siblings in and that you love them very much and that you hate too see them this way. |
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George
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sorry......but it happens every where.......my advice is that u should sit them down and talk to them in a respectful manner....if they refuse to answer....make them believe that u are in hunger strike don't talk to ur dad..but greet him as usual...and don't eat ur moms food....just isolate urself from them.......watch out for the result......
IT WORKED FOR ME......IT WILL DEFFINATELY WORK FOR U
sorry for the situation once again. |
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paul y
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My parents were always fighting. They never got to the point of physical hurting each other but they did have their little mind games they would play on one another.
I have a younger brother who is 14 years younger then myself.
Try to get some advice from a good counselor at school or better yet from your church if you have a church you go to.
Your parents are not doing you or your brother any good by this constant bickering. It does them much harm to as their relationship should be based on mutual respect. To put it simply these people need help as they probably can't help themselves at this point. Yes, you will have to be the big sister and grow up faster then you should have to. you will have to be the grown up in your household and get some outside advice before your parents let their fighting destroy your family. Prayer will help and reading good books that are in the library about family relationships will also give you some support. If the fighting gets too out of hand don't be afraid to speak up once but don't lose your control. Maybe you could write both of them a letter expressing your concerns. May God be with you. |
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HappyGirl
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Heather, only you know how serious the arguments are. If it is affecting you at 15 it must really be hard for your little brothers. I think you are a brave lady. Talk to your parents seperately, and remind them that they're arguing affects you kids. Try doing it ...at least for your brothers. Try to understand, they are not happy right now, and Im sure they still will yell and fuss at each other ,but if you talk to them about keeping their problems quiet, you and your brothers wont have to hear it. Its affecting you all,obviously. Your young and shouldnt be tied up in adult issues. Try to talk to one or both of your parents. Which ever is easiest to talk with. Maybe you could even write a letter to them. Its NOT you or your brothers faults!! Try to shield your brothers by talking to them about it. |
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Suzy
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i would love to tell you yes...but you can ask them to stop arguing in front of you and your brother...but if they are that miserable they may be better off apart...and know that it has nothing to do with you or your brother sometimes moms and dads just grow apart. and as bad as you think things will be they will get better. |
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Bettis2008
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I'm 11 they fight way to much and I'm scared |
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Bettis2008
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I'm 11 they fight way to much and I'm scared |
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sky
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i feel so low my mum and dad are allways arguing i love them both but dont need it im 32 i look after my mum iv also just had a hystercomy i feel like crap what do i do |
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