My sister and her ex-fiance are back together after 5 years of "on and off" and cheating on eachother?

KitKat

Not a damn thing. I can tell you from personal experience that if you try to tell her all the things that are wrong with him, YOU are going to be the bad guy and she will cling to him that much more. I'm sure she knows your position on her relationship, so telling her again isn't going to change her mind. She is 26 years old, an adult perfectly capable of making her own decisions. You don't have to be the guy's best friend or biggest cheerleader, but you do have to be civil to him for your sister's sake. Other than that, butt out.

fallen angel

well I think that you can always be there for her.But I think she should make that decision on her own

Katie M

She's entitled to live her life however she chooses. Even if this guy is a douche bag, she sees something in him. If you're right about him she'll just have to learn the hard way.

SOLITAIRE

she's your sister and you want to protect, but, let her make her own mistakes.

ablex

There's nothing you can do, except listen and be there for her when she needs you. It's her decision, and only she can make it. You see the relationship from the outside, but you don't know how he makes her feel.

April Golden

you do nothing.

The two of them have taken each other out of the mix.

They sound like a pair made in.....................

drama, drama, drama.

Mindy B

Yes, everyone needs to learn off their own mistakes. You could push her away if you try butting in. I would just let her make her mistake and be there for her when she realizes it.

ms.native pride

Well as hard as it might be for you to do,yeah you gotta let her make her own mistakes.How will she ever learn from them if you don't?She is 26 yrs old and you say she is going into law school,so she must be pretty smart.Just keep being a good loving sister to her as you always have been.So you don't like her man well,maybe she will not like yours either but she will still always love you & be there for you right?There must be something about this guy that she likes & see's in him.Just because you don't like him or see it.When you are with her,don't even talk about the guy or bring him up.If he does get brought up don't talk bad about him to her.It's hard but sometimes you gotta just grin & bear it ya know?Good luck.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave her alone. Everyone of us has to go through some mistakes.I had a similar situation with my brother. He had a girlfriend which was not a real good person I would say. My heart was broken, because I was watching him suffering because of her behavior. That x-girlfriend of my brother cheated on him (everyone knew about it), she was drinking, doing drugs, constantly poisoned my brothers life by starting physical and verbal fights.Of course I didn't like it. I wanted my brother to be happy. But that's what I want. In reality I helped him just by renting an apartment to live with her (he didn't have a good credit in order to rent under his name), I bought some furniture for him. I saw that he loved her and never suggested him to leave her. One day after another fight with her-she always beat him up(my brother never answer to her), I just asked him one question? "Are you really happy?" I didn't want him to answer me,I wanted him to think about it. Then I added-when you will realize what you really want-you have my support, and it doesn't matter what you will decide.Eventually, which took about 2.5 years he got tired of all that humiliation and abuse from his X. He decided to leave on his own. That's was his decision.I never remind him about his bad experience of his life while he was with his X.Now, my brother met a wonderful girl. He probably realized himself who he wants to be with, and what quality in the girl he sees that both of them are happy. recently, my brother got married. I see that he is happy. He found his happiness. So, may be some people have to go through some s---t in order realization of being happy. And now, I never get in my brother's relationship. They live their own life, they have their own family. Sorry for such a long explanation, I think it might help you. Good luck

David D

Support HER. Let her know how nice and accomplished you think she is. Do you have a nice bf? Do you have friends with nice bf's? Interact... Maybe she will see the differences - maybe she won't. It is her call.

flutterbidiva

As unfortunate as it may be, she obviously sees something in this man that you don't. Maybe she thinks that she will be able to change him or give him direction -- who knows? Maybe he inspires her in other ways.

The only thing you can do is tell her how you feel, tell her of your intentions to be civil (for her sake) and let them be. She will either see what you see, in time, or will go another route. Be supportive and love your sister... she may need it.

Good luck.

SAM

Well, you said it yourself. They are on and off after 5 years. That means, there must some aspects of their relationship that they like so that they both go back for more.

Just because he is a front door guy, it does not make him a D-Bag. Just because he is anti-social (by your standard), it does not make him a retard.

In short, you have not said a thing that qualifies him as a D-Bag excepting the cheating part. But then, you said that they've been "...cheating on each other", so I think you should try NOT to use your double standard and just to be civil with him and be there for your sis when they are on the "off" phase.

imbestigador0707

When it matters of the heart, there is really nothing much we could do but advise someone we care so much about. Try to have a heart to heart talk with your sister and speak your peace but then again, whatever decision she would make, try not to pressure her to the point that you will have a confrontation with her instead of conversation. Do not put so much pressure on the situation than it already is. We have no control of other people's feelings and if you try pushing your idea, you might end up a painful effect of such action such as fighting with her. Nonetheless, if along the way, she made a mistake, the best course of action you could do is to be a supportive sister when she needed it most instead of telling her Â¨Â¨I TOLD YOU SOÂ¨Â¨. You have to understand that most of the time, we need to made mistake to learn from it and be a better person next time around. And it would be nice, if there's someone who would be there when we made that mistake. Do you get it now? Good luck.

Shin

All you can do is try to help her see that she can do better. Basically, boost her ego so that maybe she'll find the strength to move on and find someone else. You obviously can't tell her what to do so just try your best to guide her but respect her at the same time.

G22

As crazy it may seem, she may like their relationship the way it is. Since she know how you feel, and she is still involved with him, there may be something in the relationship that works for her. After all, she is a grown woman. She can't be that throwed off to not know what kind of man she has. Maybe one day she will get rid of him, but until then, you should step back and let her handle that relationship. You should also be there for her whenever she needs you though.

Guytheterrible

He's a bad boy and that excites her. He turns her on.

Bad boys are pseudo Alphas. They are self absorbed narcissistic people who have taken on some of the outer aspects of the alpha, like confidence, charm, aggressiveness, strength, leadership etc. These are all things that say to a part of the female mind that this guy is somebody special. After all, only a big shot can afford to not care what people think and do whatever he wants. They're like non celebrities who act like celebrities so people think they're important. But these things are just illusions. He's not confident, he's just too self absorbed to care. He's not strong, he just has a bad attitude. He's not independent, he's just lazy and manipulative. He's not 'in demand', he's just a lowlife cheater and con man. But she's seeing it wrong. She, and all other women who are drawn to bad boys is just judging a book by a part of it's cover. She's blinded by what she thinks she sees.

And he's probably a good Fu@k.

Jane Marple

I would tell her once what a terrible mistake I think she's doing. Then I would tell her I'm there for her if she needs a shoulder and I promise not to say 'I told you so'. if she ever changes her mind about this guy.

*havin fun in the sun*

you have already told her how you feel, so i would let her go down that road to destruction herself. then you can say "i told you so". it will be her mistake to make. and i think she is making a big one as well. oh well, tell her not to come crying on your shoulder when they break up.

openminded

Thats about all you man do.

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