My soon to be ex-husband wants a divorce after a year of separation, I am the one that initially filed?

Now, I've changed my mind. I have been trying to get him back for about 9 months to no avail. I hate his current girlfriend... we live in separate states, but I feel he should have more of an obligation towards me than his girlfriend.
I admit I left him for another man, but he wasn't a good enough father because he was gone all the time. I was a military wife and looking for someone to love me.
The guy I left him for turned out to be a total doofus, but I was in love and too blind to see what a stupid mistake I was making!
I want him back so we can be the family that we were. This woman that he is with makes him happier than I could ever had made him, and I am a little jealous. I don't understand why he didn't love me the same way that he loves her. Why won't he come back to me?
I've told him over and over that I am sorry, and that I want him back, but he flat out refuses. He wanted me in the beginning when I ran off with the other man, but now he won't have anything to do with getting back together. It's been a year and now he wants a divorce, help!

Michael T

It's harsh to say, but, when you rejected him he started moving on. He's gone now and trying to get him back will only cause you more misery. Begin to move on yourself.

SKY

Suggest you go it alone for a while. He has every right to be disgusted with you and move on - YOU were the one who left. When he came to terms with that he moved on.

Don't blame him for you moving on. You knew he was in the military and they get deployed and YOU chose that life... initially. Saying he's a bad father for being deployed is you trying to make an excuse to justify your cheating on him.

Work on you & being happy on your own. If you can be happy on your own then prepare to move on with someone else. You seem to be more focused on needing someone rather than being able to go on your own.

cooldude11000000

oh man that is tough......if you want any real chance of getting him back, you have to let him go. You've said your piece and now you have to let him go. It needs to come from within him to realize that your the right one for him

Lela A

Let the man go..it seems like he has moved on..

Karileal21

Honestly.
Give up.
You tried.
So did he.
Maybe your issue is just jealousy?
Might it be?
Just the fact that you see him happy but are sad for your end of the story?
Move on. It seems like he did.

Mr R

Sorry, but I'm on your hubby's side on this one.
You are the one that decided you wanted a divorce, and you left him for another man.
Now that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, you decide you want him back.
Like he is just going to sit around waiting for you to come back his way and jump all over getting back together.
I have been married 20 years, and if my wife did that to me, there would be NO getting back together, NO MATTER WHAT.
You humiliated him and broke his heart.
That, to me, is unforgivable.
He has found a gf that makes him happy, and you say happier than you could have.
So, if you love him, then you want him to be happy.
Leave him alone, and let him be happy.
He would be absolutely nuts to give you another chance at hurting him like that again.
Don't fool yourself.
After what you did, there is no way you EVER could be "the family you once were".
He is happy.
Let him move on, and you need to move on as well.

shy2008

You dumped him for another guy. It didn't work out...so now you want to try again? I bet that makes him feel like a consolation prize. And you're wondering why he doesn't want to try again? When you first broke up, yeah..he wanted you back! He was alone and probably in a bit of shock. Now he's adjusted to the split and has gone on with his life...you should do the same. Think about it...what would you do it the roles were reversed? Honestly.

Sweetie

You left him, and the other woman he loves her, Sorry but, You made a BIG mistake and you will pay the price! Divorce!!!!!

Yellow Rose

You left him shattered. Leaving him for another man when he is doing his duty as a military man. You married him for better or worse. But chose to find someone else that in the end did not meet your standards. He has found happiness it is time to let him go. What once was is know only a memory. File the papers, accept the mistake you did caused this.

mamamoon

You say this other woman makes him happier then you could and there is the little fact that you left him for another man.
Yet you aren't sure why he doesn't love you the same as he does her??????????

Duh! You screwed up it's time to live with the consequences!

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