My soon to be x wife wants ............................

poophead

You never said anything about the mother of the children. Does she have rights to the kids? How was this soon to be ex with your children? did she love them enough to help you raise them up right?
Just because she kicked you out, doesn't mean that her love for the children is gone.
Don't hurt the kids because you two didn't get along.
Don't hold the kids back from "LOVE" if someone loves your kids, let them!
There are too many children out here in the world who don't have parents at all to love them.
If the kids love her, YES!!!!!!!! let her see the kids.
Plus this is your chance to have a life outside of the kids. When she has the kids, you can go out on dates or just hang out with old friends.
Don't be an *** like others are telling you to be, and think of the kids first please. It will hurt the kids in the long run. blessings to you and good luck!

P.s. You don't get child support for "visitation" I noticed that some people were telling you to tell her to pay. This is not custody we are talking about..its visitation..seeing the kids is not custody even with joint custody you don't pay each other.

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Jen B

Do your kids want to see her? And make sure it's THEIR answer, not the one you want them to say.

If so, don't punish your kids because you're angry. Obviously she was a big part of their lives and she loves them or else she wouldn't want to see them at all. That could only be good for your kids. How could having so many people adore them be bad?

Hollynfaith

For as angry as you are about all of this, set your emotions aside and look at your children. Do they love this women? Have they developed a relationship with her? Do they want to continue to see her? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then by all means, do the right thing by your children and continue to let her see them. I know it is going to be hard. I also know that you have no legal duty obligation to her, but it's not actually about her and what she's done....it's about your children. Find another way to make her life miserable and PLEASE leave the children out of it...in the long run, you'll be the better person for it honey.

I should also add that since they are YOUR children, you should be the one to make up the visitation schedule that suits your life, not hers. If you let her write them up, you give her the power to dictate when she wants them, and she wins again!

carolinagal75

Do what the KIDS want. If they have no interest in the ex....tell her you are listening to your children. Ex's don't get to impose their will just for the fun of it. There has to be a reason for visitation in this case. (Check the laws of your state to be sure she doesn't have any specific right to demand visitation before you tell her to flip off.)

brwneyedgrl

First of all i wouldnt have them written in the divorce papers, if she has no "legal" tie to them then theres no need for her to be given visitation rights.. Now on the other hand depending how long she's been in ur childrens lives, and how "THEY" not u.. but "THEY" feel about her then id just make arrangements between the two of u on the side, because if they are attached to her, then they shouldnt be made to suffer just because u both made poor decisions by marrying the wrong people..But u need to let her know that if she wants to do this she cant just stop seeing them when its not convient for her, or when she finds a new bf, or when she has children of her own, because they dont need to be hurt down the road when they are no longer convient for her life.. it would be better for them to break it off now, and go through the hurt now, then to be hurt later after they keep getting more and more attached.. So its ur call, but dont be spiteful if prior to her hurting u, and if u were thinking with a clear head, does she really love them???? or is she just trying to use them as a pawn , and will throw them to the curb as soon as they are no long convient to her.. Do what u think is best for YOUR CHILDREN.. not FOR HER , YOUR CHILDREN..

G.T. L

Are her intentions well? Does she love them like they are her children and want to see them regularly? If your answers are "yes" to both, then why not? She's going to help you build some values and love into your children, right?
If she's thrown you out, obviously you have done somethings to offend or hurt her! Take an honest look at yourself! Are you a good role model for your children? If not, your ex-to-be may help counter your bad influence. Be fair to your children, if you really love them.

~blessssâ™«â˜¼ â™ªâ™¥ â˜¼ â™ â™« â™£â˜ºâ˜»

If she never bonded with them b4, she has no need to start now. If the kids really feel strongly about seeing her, then you can decide when and where, without the papers. Just a precaution to make sure she doesn't abuse any rights to get back at you.

Annie

how important is she to the KIDS ?? will it effect them not to see her ? they are what is important .... if you can see your way to, you could give her a day a month for say, the next yr, to ease them out of each others lives. .... not nights but just a day..... it is NOT fair for kids to have to pay the price for adults mistakes and unforgivness...... so please, all I ask is that you think of the kids first...... i would however NOT put it in the divorce papers, it should be a seperate issue.. provisions if things change , bad or good...... give urself the control of the kids... so if things do get out of hand YOU can protect them..... God bless

Jeff W

This is a no-brainer. If she is not the biological mother and you were not abusing her OR them, I can't see that she has any legal ground to stand on.

Red

She has no legal right, don't give her any.

She is trying to pull something....

But I would recommend a little more tack...Control your anger around the court. They are like god and you have no other recourse. If you pis* her off the lawyers will only drag the whole thing out longer.

But don't give her any legal rights It WILL come back to haunt you..

Country

If you really loved her and she has concern for the kids, and no risk of hurting them, and they like her in return, I would arrange some visits convienient to your own time, and out of the system. Tell her you are being reasonable to let her visit them here and there, and you would expect the same out of her. If they aren't hers biologically, tell her you are being kind, but she has no right to go after that in court. Showing hostility wouldn't be good for the kids.

j t

Why the marriage died?

How do your children feel towards her?

If she is a good mum, why not let her help you out.

lynnemaria

Don't agree to anything that you believe is wrong! If you can not communicate with her in a matter than is effective and results in a fair conclusion, I would hope that you pursue it with the lawyer.

Tony

Tell her as long as she is willing to pay child support....she can see the kids.

But seriously....if she is not the biological mother to the kids and did not legally adopt them then she has no claim to visitation.

For some reason a crazy judge gives her some visitation....the same crazy judge should also make her pay child support too.

*~*Ariel*~*

she tew you out and has to deal with it, she is just trying to make it hard on you! she is on her way to make you misserable , dont allow it!

â™«â˜¼â™¥ â‰ˆ Debbi â‰ˆ â™¥â˜¼â™«

It all depends on the relationship she had with the kids prior to the divorce. Some things to factor into the equation are:
How old are the kids?
How long has she been in the kids lives?
Has she been involved in the raising of the kids?
Is their biological mother still around?
Do the kids want a relationship with her?
What's your ex's reasoning in wanting visitation?
Would it be safe for the kids to be with her unsupervised?

Remember, the kids aren't emotionally part of the divorce... that's between you and her; so you need to do what's best for THEM.

Just Me

well, it really depends on how long you were together, and how long she raised them as her own kids. She must have grown attached to them, but I would not have it written into the divorce, you should just tell her that you don't want that. If she wants to see them, tell her that she can have a short visit with them at some neutral place. If she threw you out, then I would not give in on that, I wish you luck, and make sure that the kids understand what is going on...

Cricket

I would tell her no, but also tell her that if the kids want to see her then something might could be arranged between the two of you down the road. But I wouldn't do anything where it says you have to let her see them. I would leave it where it is yours and the kids choice if she sees them.

kelliekareen

When you ask this question are you thinking revenge or what would be best for the kids.Are they attached to her a lot? Has she been a large part of their lives?When you get a divorce it becomes way to easy to make it a pissing contest instead of keeping your eyes on the best thing for everyone.Think it through,only you truly know the answer to this question.

moshydog

Sounds like you are angry. Fair enough. I would be too. I'd Tell her no. They are not her kids. how will it work out with the previous wife (if there is one)...
Also, maybe try to put yourself in her shoes... anger can breed and usually does unless disarmed with forgiveness.

Angie P.

She's just trying to remain a part of your life. I wouldn't do it if I were you.

I live in Missouri and a few years back, my ex-husband took me to court for custody of our daughter and his wife also wanted to trade years for Mother's Day (this woman makes my daughter's life a living Hell). I told him that if that's what they both truly wanted, then we should also trade years for Father's Day for my husband! My ex refused and they even tried to convince this poor kid that my in-laws weren't her family while her step-mother's family IS her family . . . try and figure out THAT logic! Needless to say, the judge doubled my ex's child support for filing a frivolous law suit and wasting everyone's time and told my ex's wife to keep her comments to herself because her opinion didn't matter since she had no biological link to my daughter.

Try talking to your children and, if they are old enough, ask their opinion of the situation. They could surprise you with their input.

Good luck!

free_angel

Tel her yeah she can have visitation rights as long as she pays you child support. See if that puts a dent in her request.

blah

she has no right and don't give them to her. if she trys to take them take her to court and thay will surely 100 percent give you costedy

enterprisefence

does she give u child support 4 this visitation right???? if not tell her to get the hell out of your life u know is she on something or what i fell for u on this one but good luck and have a good life without a old story

On_the_fence

I suppose you are writing about rights to visit your children ? If it is, even though they (the kids) are not hers, she might have grown to love them while married to you so, there really is nothing wrong to allow her visitations rights...and even more if the kids love her too. I dont really know the reasons why she threw you out and I suppose the chain of events have lead to a divorce..and I can only assume that she have problems with you, and not the children. In matters like this, you have to think rationally and be objective about the wellbeing of your children. Put aside your anger towards her and think about the children instead. If they have grown up with her for some years, did it ever occur to you that they might want to see her too ? So dont be selfish just because you want to get even. But having said that, if you think/feel that she have ill intentions towards your children, just to get equally even with you by demanding this rights, then by all means, SAY NO !!!

Michael W

Tell her sure anything she wants. Then when it comes time to produce...DON'T.

eMale

Better play it cool. It's not unusual for a judge to give the kids in a case like yours to the other parent even though she's not their mother.

Cashmere621

If she has been in their lives during your marriage of course she should be allowed visitation. No wonder she threw you out! Your children probably need her more than they need you. Don't use your children as a weapon to hurt her because in the end you are only hurting your children. If that matters to you which I seriously doubt that it does beccause you sound like a self-absorbed, worthless, uncaring, selfish SOB!

Freddy

let the real mother put up a fight if she is still around

morgysdad

They are from a previous marriage, so i would tell your soon to be x-wife that she will get to see them when she is buried in the ground, and then only so they can piss on her grave.

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