My wife and I split up but havn't filed 4 divorce yet. Has this happened to you & did u get back together?

beagle

A month apart is not a long time so don't start hitting any panic buttons. Some couples have been know to separate, get divorced and "find each other" 8 years later and remarry!

I am glad you are open to marital counseling. Personally, I believe many marriages could have been salvaged had there been a time of separation. Separation can be a healthy cooling off period. This way neither of you are adding fuel to the fire and continuing to rub each other the wrong way.

Right now, your wife needs think time. Do not pressure her but keep in touch. Guys typically want to "fix" things and they want to fix them now! Women think differently.

You will need to be very patient on this one. The important thing is you are keeping the door open. A good marriage counselor will be able to provide a "safe" environment where the both of you can be heard, affirmed and understood. This is something that has been lacking in your marriage which is why one of you moved out.

To answer your question; in the long run this separation may be the very thing that saves your marriage! It depends on where your wife's head space is at. She may find "relief" being away but she may not be at peace.

What you will have to make sure of is that you are not using the counseling thing as a means of luring her back home. I would suggest that the counseling take place while you are both still apart and ease back into the relationship slowly.

What you must remember is this; your wife does not want to return to the same old same old nor should you. Both of you will need to make some changes before you get back together. A good counselor will be able to give each of you goals to work towards and communication skills to work on.

Right now, your wife is unsure about the "real effort" stuff and the counseling because she does not want to get burned again. She will need time to sort herself and her emotions out. How much time? Be prepared for several months. I say this because you need to realize how long it took for the both of you to come to this unhappy time. In the meantime, work on the changes you need to make. Do not pressure her by giving her a time limit.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you.

Javier169

nope...splitting up is the 1st step towards divorce buddy. Life is tough! My wife is now on affair # I dont even want to count.

â˜†blessedâ™¡

yes i split with my husband for 5 years then got back together
unfortunately some of the things he did while we separated are having repercussions now
be careful what you do if you genuinely want to get back together

FarinaS

That is what marriage is all about huntwall. It is not just a piece of paper its effort, its commitment for better and for worse. People nowdays just don't believe in that anymore eventhough when they got married they exchange their vows for better and for worse. It is worth saving unless for these 3 things which are difficult even in the bible say so. If your spouse cheat, physically abused you like beating you and not providing shelter as place to live, food and etc. I am currently in that situation but a little bit different, i didn't move out, i was threat not to come back with my little baby. I tried saving my marriage by going to counseling, priest for my confession and trying to change to be a better person as i believe marriage is sacred. to cut it short, i have been overly depressed and was a hard ache for me day and night for 7 months. My baby is only 8 months now. After all the times that i was trying i finally finds out that my husband never felt for me from the time that we had relationships eventhough during our time together he never showed all this sign.. he has been going out with someone the past 7 months and didn't tell me.My baby is still so young. So you know what it means then right? Its ok to try and resolve the conflict matter because at the end, you will feel good about yourself knowing that you have done the right thing..Saving marriage is the best thing that people should do and its a bless from god doing the right thing..

gbqueen81

I was just listening on the radio the other day and heard a guy come on and request a song for his parents' anniversary. He said they had been married something like 50 years. In the middle of their marriage, they split up, but never actually divorced. After a couple years apart, they got back together and have been happy ever since! That's totally amazing to me. When I got married, I thought it would be forever...until I got pushed down the stairs and ended up with a black eye. But the times of this other couple are far away from now. Back then, people seemed to work things out instead of heading straight for divorce. Good luck.

nahS

yes this has happened to me. me and my husband split after 2 1/2 years of marriage and our daughter was only 6months old. he cheated on me 6months after our wedding and he didn't trust me, very much insecure, i was no angel either but i didn't cheat...

we split dec07 were apart for a year and finally decided to try to make it work.. we got back together jan09 it hasn't been a easy road but its worth seeing if there's anything left to save you dont just throw away 5years of dating and 4years of marriage...

so keep the faith... what is meant to be will be.....

Longbrownhair

Separation more often than not leads to divorce. In the rare case where both people really want to go to counseling but live separately at the time so you don't step on each others toes while you heal then yes getting back together is likely. It seems your wife wants to divorce.

sonia

Haven't u heard,I won't let u go u know too much.

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