My wife cheated. Is revenge the best medicine?

jude

two wrongs don't make a right, but it is common when u have been betrayed to not hold the marriage as dear as u use to or would have had u not been betrayed.it really won't make u feel better if u do cheat on her, it will just compromise your belief system, adn you would be going against your beliefs just to get even.

Johnny

Get over it or divorce her

Half measure don't work

NuWave

Even if you cheat for revenge, it won't undo what she's done. You'll still be plagued with thoughts that she gave herself to another man. If you're not going to divorce her, I'd suggest counseling.

On a personal note, I was in your shoes four years ago and I divorced. I have never cheated on any woman so I don't feel I should have to stay with one that cheats on me. My revenge was moving on and meeting the best woman I've ever known who is now my wife.

BaBaoooMowMow

A revenge cheat will provide you with that ability to not be a hipocrit. It probably won;t help with the feelings of deception or betrayal. I speak these words from experience

saniig

Well lets see you have had months of pain because she wanted a few minutes of pleasure, Stuff her go for her best friend have a roll in the hay with her and make sure your wife finds out preferably let her walk in on you then when she does ask her if she wants to join in. she will be so angry and hurt she will never stray again

blackrose

Unless you cannot stand her and you want a divorce, cheating is not a good idea. What if she find out? Theoretically you guys will make it even and forget about it, all the hurt feelings or whatever. But most likely she will cling onto it, and new argument begins... like how could you do this to me? Well what about you? Did you sleep with her just to hurt me...? all the stuff... does that sound fun to you?

Also there is a control issue in marriage. By forgiving your wife's mistake, you gain certain stand in your marriage. Even if she acts as if nothing had happened, she won't be able to ignore that deep in her heart. However by trying to get even with her, you are giving her that ground. Once she finds out, it would be her who would be in control. So play the man with a big heart, and move on.

Anyway, even if she doesn't find out, still, it's good to be the one who's doing the right thing.

Mrs. Me

Yes, ur crazy. Cheating won't make you feel any better about what SHE did, it will only make you feel like she did it to me and I did it to her so, now we are even, but it's still not going to change the fact that she cheated. I definitely understand the logic behind the idea, but it won't REALLY solve anything. Seek some couples counseling if you want your marriage to last. If that doesn't work than you may have to do what you have to do. Good luck

Jane Marple

No it's not gonna make you feel better.....it's just gonna make you feel like you're the kind of man who's willing to cheat.

She cheated on you, doesn't mean you have to get down to her level. In times like these you have to show what you're made of, and you're certainly not made of the same stuff as your wife.

kittykat

Cheating is never the answer and will only make you feel worse. You may be looking to feel wanted and desired by someone because when our spouse cheats it sometimes makes us feel "less than" and we also think it is a way of getting back at them but it leaves us feeling even more cheap, hurt and less than. It's not our fault they cheated. It's issues they were having, that they have to deal with and we can be there to love them and support them if we are able to forgive them and be strong enough and still believe that is a salvage marriage.

Bs Girl

As someone else said two wrongs don't make a right. So in other words you isn't going to make you feel any better it will just make things worse. Find a way to forgive even if you have to go to couseling.

Arianna

Don't do something you're not comfortable with just because you want to get back at her. It's hardly a mature thing to do - besides it will make you both even more unhappy.

Ask her why she did it? Is the first time? It's not fair that while you don't let your eyes wander, she hooks up with someone else. What's her side of the story? Try & resolve some of your questions over counselling. Take a constructive step, don't make things worse

Valerie

cheating is never the answer to cheating talk to her and if you don't fell you can live with the mistake she made the the best thing is divorce!

mebo

Two wrongs don't make a right.

I believe that taking the high road and living your life with integrity makes you the better person. If you cheat, you will have to look yourself in the mirror knowing what you did.

You're are not crazy to think that but it won't make it right. Of course you are hurt and pissed off about what happened but the best thing to do,if you decide to work it out, is to focus on your marriage. Talk to her about your feelings and let her know it is hard for you to forgive her. If you sleep with someone else,yes you may feel better for a brief time but in the long run you are doing even more damage to your marriage. Love is about forgiveness-not revenge. Good luck to you.

ruby... i'm a gem!

Revenge is bittersweet, it may end up hurting you more than it hurts her.
Do you have children? If you do, you'll end up hurting them too.
When my father committed infidelity, my mother didn't cheat on him.
She simply gave him a second chance and when he wrecked it she left him and took me with her (best decision she ever made).
Moral of the story: Give her a second chance. It's human nature to do stupid things and make the wrong decisions.
If it happens again, you seriously need to get out.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: