My wife cheated on me while I was away in the service. How can I ever forgive her?

Chuck W

If youre stupid enough to join the military then youre STUPID enough to let your girlfriend cheat on you- cry much?
Its not like the military attracts the educated, only the dumb who dont know any better.

SuzyBelle04

I dont think you can. Cheatintg is the ultimate form of betrayal.

Byron

I wouldn't.

txguy44@sbcglobal.net

forgiving her is one thing will you ever be able to trust her again?

Dongray A

She is your wife you took a vow to keep her for better or worst. She has done what any man feel is the worst thing a wife can do to her husband. What she has done to you isn't going to be an easy thing for you to deal with, unless you have never done something against someone you have not the right to hold her sin against her. The two of you have some serious matters to talk about. The memory of her act/s against your marriage will not be forgotting, but true love helps the heart heal, understanding her action may not be easy. I hope the two of can find that your marriage is worth saving.

mikysmith1234

ur out there fighting for ur country and giving ur life up and shes out there giving her ***** up, seriously u dont forgive her because thats the worst thing

kimmy t

your not supposed to.

Cheating is cheating. Whats worse is while you were away fighting for your country she cheated- come on! Dont you think you deserve better? You will ALWAYS wonder if she will do it again. If you accept it this time...she will see it a green light to do it again. You may be on another call of duty, away on business or simply having a poker nite with friends..and you will wonder.

captrick20

Don't do it! This day in age with all the deployments that will stay in the back of your mind... Meanwhile you have a lot bigger things to think about. Like not getting dead!!

God's chosen

your wife your desicision i say

lmcbuilder

You should forgive her within your own heart. If you don't have kids, dump her tramp ***. She's a waste of skin.

xtratabasco

you cant forgive, unless God helps you. The issue of trust is gone.

I could never do it unless I was on my deathbed.

devil_queen_biatch14

its up 2 u if u do or not

Jordo!

OMG... How frickin rude and disrespectful.... that is the worst i cant belive what kind of person would do that just set her down and talk to her get her side then tell yours and tell her how you feel dont tell her you asked this site she will be mad! trust me!

Anne C

Trust is the foundation of any healthy, meaningful relationship. Also, people who are in love with each other would NEVER do anything to hurt each other. I'm sorry, but while I think that it MIGHT be possible to forgive her eventually (after MUCH time), I don't see how you could ever remain together and be happy or have a loving relationship. :o( There has to be someone out there who would never do that to you. You don't deserve it. No one does.

M S

This is an odd question.

You have to remember physical need is closer to the foundation of needs (IE in Maslow's Hierarchy of needs) and therefore must be satisfied before emotional needs.

So if she merely cheated physically, with no emotional attachment involved (IE she doesn't talk about him at all or now repeatedly point at certain faults you have she never used to mention before which could be his strengths), there's a decent chance she was acting on impulse and that she would've ignored him for you if you were around. IE she knows you're the best (IE the prime rib of survival), but figures uncooked eggs (him) are better than nothing.
You should know this by how much she tries to take advantage of you: IE if she's trying to get physical with you a lot and doesn't ask for gifts/money/crying on your shoulder/etc. just to be with you chances are she really DOES think you are the best physically and emotionally.

Otherwise, there's a good chance she cheated looking for something she'd find better, in which case you should dump her. Point with women: trust me, if their men aren't around for over two weeks, the tendency for women to cheat grows exponentially.

AnneeMoon

I"ve been a military wife and i know the way some girls are. if they do once while you're deployed, they'll keep doing it everytime. i would talk to her about and, see what your options are and decide what is best for YOU! good luck

zack

to my best understanding, if u dont ve kids, then u should leave her at once as anyone having affair is unpardonable.

Gloâ˜…

That is a very personal choice and decision. If you decide that you may want to make the marriage work because you love her. I would suggest that the two of you go to marriage counseling and find the root to the problem. Why she is unable to be loyal to her husband. I am sure it has more to do with her than it does with you. Good luck and God bless****

paigeamj

You need to talk about it. Not saying its right but you were gone for a while and hormones start to flare. Talk to her with understanding of the distance and the vows you share and after that talk if you don't feel like you can trust her then try counseling.

michelle

If you can find it in your heart you can forgive her,,,but you will never forget. If it was me i wouldnt still be with that person....but thats just me.

little mama

Honestly I don't think you should. My husband is in the military as well and I think that the spouses that cheat are the lowest form of scum on the planet. While he was deployed I know I got really lonely but I made sure that I never put myself in a situation where I might be unfaithful. I missed out on alot of times to go out with friends because I wouldn't go to bars or clubs but I could hold my head up high when he came home. Seriously you should get rid of her and find a woman that will think you are worth waiting for.

Pieces of Me ...

Truthfully she made a mistake but she's human and people make mistakes. What would you have done if the situation reversed? If you are so easily willing to give up your marriage then maybe your love isn't really unconditional through better or worst.

iczage

If i were you, I will talk to your wife. What does she wants & why she did that? If she still love and choose you, then forgive her and try to forget all thing which is hard & take a while to get back to normal but if you do love her you can do it same as I did. I was cheated too while i was working in oversea & preparing our wedding for a year ( too long). We were living together 6 years before and After that we got marriage, I moved back with my husband. Within a month I found out the SKDHFKD?? girl whom I known/respect her well tried to call him and heard from her directly that she came over our place and slept with him ( in our bed). I totally shock but no yell at him. I could not believe we talked almost everyday on the phone while i was in oversea. So we sat & talked and I let him decide so he choose me. I told him I always give people a chance and if it happen again. that's it ended.....so now we are together 8 years since we get marriage and have our little one. Now I know that I will not leave him alone by himself.

booyakasha G

i wouldnt forgive her ever but thats just me

wondering one

Forgive and FORGET, she is human.

Lake Lover

She's an ungrateful %$#@@
You can do better! And thanks for serving your country!

Azrael B

I..I....Im just gona cry for u cause thats reallly messed up *attempts to cry*

well, depends on who she is as a person and the reasons behind it and if your relationship was on good terms before going away, but she shoulda had the decency to talk to you about it now that shes caught (she shoulda talked to u'before' getting caught,but thats in the past)...if shes not sry for it and doenst regret it well id say start looking for a new wife... and well if she is sry for it (and shes not lying to ur face) then id say give her another chance...though its a pretty low blow seing as u were in the army... if you can get over this 'together' like marrage counciling or something, then great // Good luck.

jbearbooboo

this is a terrible thing knowing that while you were away fighting for our country she was out being unfaithful. what a bad thing to do to someone who was out there for us.i am so sorry for you my dear friend.do you still love her? do you want to make it work?if you dont want this marriage any more then i would get a divorce and move on. if she could do it once then she will no doubt do it again.if you want this marriage then you both need to go see a marriage counsellor. she is going to have to really earn your trust again. you wont be able to trust her for awhile. you both need to go to church and try and work it out if you can, but if not , let her go. move on and find someone who will be faithful to you no matter what. good luck to you.

msalb

you can if you're willing to let her prove yourself,but if you can't forgive her,then it's best to split up, when my husband cheated
on me,I never brought it up again,but I never trusted him again
if you don't have trust,than you can't forgive anyone
been there done that
good luck

retroalien

u may be able to forgive her but a scar will remain.u wil nvr be able to accept and love her like before.not telling u to jump out of the marriage right now...think about it ,wil u be able to carry this fact in ur heart for the rest of your life...i have been in a situation lyk this so i knw how it feels........

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