My wife has had an affair and is leaving me and my son. Is there any chance of rescuing the situation?

brwneyedgrl

My advice to u, is to stop letting her string u along.. and thats exactly what she's doing with the phone calls and text messages.. i personally, would tell her that the door is open for a try at reconcilliation until the divorce papers are signed, but id cut her off from communicating with u , just let her talk to ur son, and be real short and sweet with her and dont answer her text messages.. 1 of 2 things will happen here.. she will either go crazy with the thought she's losing u even more and stop playing these games of "in a couple of weeks" or she will just go on with her plans of divorcing, and if thats the case then she had no intentions of coming back in the first place.. She's giving u false hope right now, and if she loved u and she wanted to make a go of this she'd be back, instead she's using u as a security blanket while she tests the waters of being single.. and the fact that she left her son behind with u, speaks volumes.. she will not be able to get custody of your son if she thinks that she will fight for him in the divorce, because she is the one that left and a judge will not take a child out of a stable environment.. so she just majorly messed up there.. and i have no pity for a woman that choses her "freedom" over her children.

SundaeG1rl

She's playing you for a fool with all this 'tail between her legs' bollocks. If it's not working, then there's not much you can do to fix it. Just don't let her mess you or your son around. And if you want custody, then you'd better keep hold of him and not let her take him. She sounds like a nasty piece - you could do better. Chin up, be strong :-)

Googlypants

I think if you've still got your son then let her go.

And then make sure your solicitor knows she walked out on the pair of you.

Why would you want someone who would cheat on you and walk out on her son?

Equinox

The nerve of that woman. She can't just go in and out whenever she pleases - her actions have consequences and she has to know that. She shouldn't be playing with your emotions and your kids like that.

great_warrior2006

i cant see why u shouldnt dump her. once u lose trust it is never gonna be the same again. what if she dumps u for someone again. will u keep taking her back.

H1976

I think there is a chance, but do you want to? Would you be able to trust her again!?
It will be easy to slip back into old ways so it will take quite a bit of work.
You say she is leaving you AND your son, is the son hers?
As a mum I could not leave my child, I think she may be having a crisis, and there must be a underlying reason for that, good Luck!

Larry V

I don't see an easy solution here. If she came back, it seems like there wouldn't be much basis for building a new relationship - if she's that fickle, then who knows what she'll do next?

I'd suggest that serious therapy is needed for everyone involved. With appropriate treatment, you grow to be more confident in yourself, she can perhaps mature past the "butterfly" stage, and the possible future reconciliation can perhaps have a chance.

Jo C

I think is a strange thing for someone to say especailly if they have just left someone.
It sounds as though she is trying to keep her options open, like if it is too hard for her then she will come back, and she knows you will take her.
It is you that has been hurt not her, she cheated on you remeber no the other way around. Don't let her walk all over you.

cristiano

sir iundersatnd ur problem. you should go to her and tell her that you are really sorry and you will think twice before you start a problem. She still loves you but she cant show you coz
it has been a really long time.u can take this as an opinion but it is ur wife. i hope 1 day i might get a chance to see you and ur wife together, ( do not worry i can find out whom u r )

sweetemtation_123

My question is, what kind of woman would walk away without her son, and have the affair in the first place? She is not worth it and you need to realize you will never have trust in her again and what kind of relationship is that going to be? You said it wasn't working out and you wanted out also, so i am thinking you are just use to the idea of having someone in your life, after all it has been 13 yrs with this person. I believe you need some time yourself to re-evaluate the situation and ask yourself if you want someone to use you the way she has, and really she may be back in a couple of weeks with her tail between her legs??? I would say no chance and get on with your life with your son. You Both have been betrayed. Hope things get better for you, and good luck.

Darlin'

i'd move on if i were you
but if you want to give it a go
maybe try some counciling
sorry i cant spell
:)

rhirhi_1988

Dont contact her or chase after her let her see what she has with you and see if she comes back.
She had an affair there fore if she comes back it should be on ur terms.
Good luck

elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom

well, she must promise that she won't have any more affairs...that's the only way it will work...I hope she changes her ways, good luck!

jet-set

It depends if you can be mature enough to let her have her fling, and then take her back.
It sounds as though she's not sure what the hell she's doing at the moment.
I think you'd have to make it clear, if she does come back, that you'd only do this once, if it happened again, that would be the end.
For the sake of your son, it's worth considering having another go, if you get the chance.

American Beauty

Yes, you can give her another chance, if you're both willing to work on the marriage. Things can't go back the way they were, and she can't go running to another man when things don't go her way at home. If she's not willing to work on the marriage, you will be wise to let her go. Your son needs a stable environment, not a home where Mommy is sometimes there and sometimes not.

The next time your wife calls, you need to tell her to make up her mind. Either she's going to come home, or you're not going to continue to play games with her. You have to be firm with this woman. Think about what's best for your son, and what's best for you. Be honest about your own feelings. If you really don't want this woman back, let her go.

pamperpooch39

After 13 years a relationship can get stale and both husband and wife can take each other for granted. Theres no point in trying to go back if things are only going to end up the same. The only way to go back is if you're going to make sure things are different, and that they will stay that way. Either way isn't easy, but I have to be honest, I think sometimes people marry for the wrong reasons in the first place so eventually the marriage is doomed to faliure. Look at where you have both been going wrong in your relationship. You need to start opening up to your wife and tell her how her actions sometimes make you feel, and where you feel you could have been more attentive. Maybe then she will see that leaving you has had a big enough impact on you to change the course of the relationship.

lucy looo

hey look go with the saying once a cheater always a cheater, she hurt you, look im sorry to say but your just her back up if this affair that she is having all goes wrong, you and your son have been miss treated! play it cool ignor her calls and texts and she will be begging for you to take her back, but do you really want to let her back into you and your sons life, its not just you this will affect it will also be your son, you have to appproch the matter with care other wise this could set an example to your son that this sort of adultry behaviou is ok to do! hope this helps. good luck x

blackpearl

I feel bad for you, but why do you want to hold on to something that you admitted has been over for a long time. The best thing you can do is get counseling for your son and yourself. If she could walk out once she will do it again. The both of you need to find out why things went so bad. If you can discover that maybe you can find a way to work on getting back together. For your sons sake get help to fix this mess.

frawlicious

I think that she is taking you for granted. You do not leave someone and then keep in contact and say she may come back. Is that the type of person you want to be with? What if she comes back and meets another man? Then will you allow her to go and come back again. I am speaking from experience, if they go once, they are likely to leave again. Save yourself the pain, and move on. I wish you the best of luck.

jackie m

I know you want us to tell you there is a chance - there may be but would it be worth it, she done it once and will do it again. As she keeps telling you she might be back is she wanting you to beg her?, talk to her about it not us. Good luck.

Pres

If u do let her come back will u be able to trust her? It will always be in the back of ur mind. Hell what if things go down hill again will she cheat again? I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater but that is just my belief. People can change once they see what they have lost. Think bout this very carefully only u know the situation.

tezz

its earier to walk away than stay.....try to work it out....if not then you know you tried

Snot Me

you will always hane Â¨ that doubt Â¨ and mistrust. if you want to put youself through that then only you can answer the question

good luck in whatever you decide

Callendula

Only time will tell....certainley we can't.

angel

Personally, I think you should wipe your hands clean of her and go be happy with your life. You don't really miss her, you miss the routine of life, you were comfortable, not happy, comfortable. She is playing games with you now, "I might come back" WHAT? NO! Next time you get that text, respond with FOR WHAT? Move on and be happy, you deserve it.

luckyduckie

dude she cheated on u! dont let her come back with her tail between her legs

she betrayed you and left you! have some damn self respect!!!

Day Dreamer

If she wants to be with the man she had a affaire with let her
This is what i think will happen:
She will go off with that man and you and your son at home (make no contact with her bout 2 days) and then see if she happens to want you back
I would leave her for a little while she might come back to you, that always happens
I think it does deserve another go, if you want this to make the relationship quick then try and explain what you love bout her be a charm lol
good luck =)

back2future

maybe u can try it... for the kids.. I feel sorry for u..

Ellie

I am sorry to hear that- its always bad when a marriage ends and it hurts like hell. There is a chance to rescue it providing you are both willing to work really hard at it. However, if she is still seeing the person she had an affair with and is only testing to see if it works with him and is keeping in you reserve then you have to ask do you want her back? Also you need to wonder if she is staying away to get her head straight, or to teach you a lesson to make you miss her. Why not arrange a date with her, take her out to dinner and calmly discuss the issues and see what happens. Maybe then some marriage guidance wouldn't go amiss. Good Luck

EDIT- I like Flagger Guys advice- sounds good to me.

vanwill23

I think if she is the one who had an affair and then the one who left as well, then she is definitely taking advantage of you. At present she is probably taking a much deserved break from your relationship, however this should be a mutual break and you both should have sat and agreed on this yet she left you and her child and you don't know what she could be doing right now (probably enjoying her 'affair' and not wondering much about it since you already know). I think she will come back to you after she has had her fill out there because I don't think she has any intention of giving up on your relationship because she has invested too much time in it. Her comment of 'I might come back with my tail between my legs' is just a comment made to make you feel that she is probably thinking things through and she realises her mistake and wants to come back but I reaaaaaly don't think that she's doing much soul searching right now. Has she even apologised to you as yet? I mean genuinely! It is up to you if you want to make it work or not but just remember that if you do decide to take a second chance at this relationship she needs to get tested for HIV/AIDS and there may very well be a chance that she would continue to do what she is doing now!

steven

I'm a father of 4 and this has happened twice to me I'm sorry to tell the truth but you are in a no win situation, no one wins its not a game so don't play it. the best you can do now is try to take care of yourself and son and let it go. to her its real! so why would you want false hope? lets say she does come back you'll never trust her and that's no real relationship material. she probably didn't use protection and that puts you in a health risk situation. She's a dirty woman with a dirty pussy, and you don't want another mans stuff in your mouth so you cant eat it anyway. and as for your son they may or may not have a relation with his mom but let him decide in the future its all on her. and this sucks! and i too was married for 15 yrs. when its over its over being alone isn't the worst but, staying in that type of situation is the worst fix it and fuck her tell you don't need her and take care of yourself. Peace p.s. dont talk to her (FOREVER) its final your the man!

steven

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