My wife is having a virtual affiar on Facebook. What should i do?

He is the other side of the world, so there is little chance of it being a real affair. I love her very much and dont want to loose her. I have let myself go since we married and im not overly supprised this is going on. Should I shut up and shape up for her so she doesnt need to look elsewhere? or should confront her and risk pushing her further away?

JSB
Additional Details
Ouch on the doormat comment but i hav e to agree with you.. Some very interesting comments and yes it is clear there are lots of issues here. I have lost my self confidence and put on shed loads of wait, and yes she is walking all over me, but only cause i am allowing her to do it. So first things first. Going to start working on myself. I will stop monitoring her FB chats and start monitoring my lifesyle and improve things for me. Then if she wants to come onlong for the ride the door is still open, guess I need to show her why she married me.

Local Gal

If she is even just talking to him it should be sending up red flags. When a woman is unhappy the easiest thing to do is have a "safe" relationship like online. But if her situation at home does not get better she will keep looking til she finds what she is looking for. And it may not be you.

ISmellDeliciousItsTrue

Change your status to "It's complicated."

founck

Virtually kick the guy's azz.

mimi

You know...the internet is a wierd, scary place. Facebook is just one of them. I actually got off facebook cos i saw so much 'flirting' going on among friends...i just didnt feel comfortable so i got off. Mayby talk to your wife not primarily about this but about 'your' relationship. You say you have let your self go, tell her that but do somthing about it...talk, communicate about everything in your relationship and then the subject of this affair may just naturally come up and you will both have a chance to view your feelings...all the best.

pickin5strings

sorry t hear about this. it would be good to see a marriage therapist. there are lots of reasons/problems other than this to see one.

Issa D.

Tell her you know, but that you're going to get yourself together because you still love her.

Bill P

Let's put it this way>> If she was getting what she needed and/or wanted at home, she wouldn't be looking elsewhere

cool_honeybabe

Please confront her and voice our ur feelings but not with physical or mental abuse but in a nice way,sometimes it starts platonic ally and ends with devastating results,take care.

Paul&Fran

Well first getting back in shape is not only good for your marriage it's good for your health. And talking to your wife and expressing your concerns should not drive your wife away it should make for a better marriage as well.

jazzyj

Your wife is obviously taking you for what you are:
" a doormat."
Mary J.English

Hol2001

Its probably time to address the core issues of your relationship. Ask her to go to marriage counseling. you can't just sweep this under the rug or it will come back to bite you eventually. Good luck!

Cookie

Find out WHY she needs to be getting attention from somewhere else. She is a good women, other women would go out and have full blown affairs....she just needs love, care and attention. Please please dont be egoistic, just listen to her and find out what she wants from you in terms of care and compassion....

shamece

It really depends on what kind of wife you have,but I think you should get into shape be that man she fell in love with and don't give her no reason to talk to that other dude. you might think that there's no chance in them meeting but if there's a will there's a way. When you see her on facebook just try to distract her from it ask her to come with you to the bedroom and talk she'll get off of it then if not she's in to deep with him

fathi

i would suggest you talk to her about this matter and ask her why she is interested in someone else what she expects from you don't be dominant while having a discussion, be polite understand her and try shaping yourself like he desires

musongmwansa

She is your wife tell her how you feel and tell her point blank that you do not like it. If you are scared of driving her away sorry to say she has gone.

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