My wife left and filed for divorce?

is there a way to get her back? 1 month ago. i think she's seeing someone. she will not talk to me. i've tried everything. says she don't love me anymore. can a person go from loving you to not in 7 or 8 months? i believe she began seeing someone after she left. she also acts as though she doesn't even like me.. never seen that comming,, she said the reason for this was because i didn't respect her. she's 29..i'm 50..been married 18 months,,she's been married twice before w/ 2 kids...9 and 6...i took very good care of her,,she admited that she never wanted for anything,,,she never had to work..although she wanted to.. i put her thru school,,,then she got a job,,,became independent...[i had no problem with that] its odd that she won't talk to our pastor...about sticking it out...he's tried...she still go's to our church,,,i set apart...feels funny...she acts as tho she's happy...i'm really down..it doesn't look as tho she wants to come back....her best friend supports her [sister] i really would like to work it out. she told our pastor that she knew God could fix it but she didn't know if she wanted Him to. seems like she's being mean to me so i'll let her go.? she got an order against me so i couldn't talk to her or go around her..her mother tried to talk to her,,,she cut her off and said she didn't wanna talk about it,,as well as her dad, i can't understand why she so cold to me? i've been praying much about this,,she also told the pastor that i had changed,,,back to the one,,,but it was to late....she told her mother it feels good to come home and not have to answer to anyone [this isn't right] she never had to ''answer to me'' she also said, now she could go and come as she pleased,, i never told her she couldn't do or go anywhere ,,she sat up in bed about 6 weeks ago and ask me if i thought she was a good christian....i said that was between her and God..she said the last few she felt as though she had to walk on eggshells,,,,because of me? or because she was already convicted of not really being what she thought she should be. the last 2 months we were together,,she eased back kinda into the things she used to do,,,its like she wanted to hang on to God and her old ways. our pastor told her that she doesen't have a reason to divorce me..it really causes me confusion..we've never been apart till now..her kids loved me..suggestions? no negative comments please...i'm looking for hope,,but the truth,,thanks

jude

its not about anything u did or didn't do, but she will blame it on u to make herself look good in others eyes. wish i could give u hope, but when someone leaves u, and has someone else this fast its probably because they were already cheating on u when they were still with u. no one ever has a reason to leave someone who treated her well, unless she is in love with someone else. in that case no matter what u say or do it won't change her mind.she left because she felt guilty and didn't want to deal with the guilt anymore of wanting to be with someone else. prayer does sometimes work, but if it is something that would just harm u more god won't answer you on this. she used u to get ahead, which hurts u i know. but i would just accept it, because things happen for a reason.

toetagme

She used you. Surely you must have wondered why someone young enough to be your daughter would marry you. Now, sadly you know. Move on and find someone closer to your own age who has the maturity to appreciate you. Your wife was just a gold digger taking you for a ride. It happens. If you had Donald Trump money, she would still be there with her hands out pretending to love you as do the Donald's young wives. You can not win her back, because you never had her. Sorry. Believe me I know the truth hurts like hell sometimes. Good luck to you.

Marco's girl

I can really hear your confusion and feel your pain in your letter. I am going to be brutally honest with you, because you seem sincere. From just what you have written, I am sensing that she is trying to justify her leaving you by contorting the truth about how things really were. This is her 3rd marriage that is failing and she does not want to appear to be the cause of this failure. She is fighting within herself to do what she wants (be free) and yet appear to be leaving because she has justification (which she does not). Bottom line is that she is not happy and you are not making her happy. She is embarrassing herself by ending yet another marriage and does not want any blame. She sounds very immature. You are 50, a man with maturity and experience in life. Some people never grow up and she sounds like one of them. I think maybe you are better off without her. I think you deserve better. I would like to give you a life line, but I don't think she wants to work this out with you. She is emotionally detached herself already. I'm so sorry.

MummaKins

Maybe she found someone closer to her own age? Decided she'd take the money and run?

ah-ight

Baby, I am so sorry. I wonder what caused the end of her previous marriages? Were they both older? Well off financially? She used you, plain and simple. I know it hurts, but the fact is that a 50 year old man needs maturity. A level of maturity a 30 year old couldn't provide.

Good luck to you.

johnnysunshine11

She won't be back because she probably couldn't level with you about her love for you or the life she had with a much older man. Most likely she found a new man to support her and her children and is living with him. I can't understand why you'd be so supportive of her obvious poor habits and selfish lifestyle. Pray for Gods will. It will develop however He sees fit so prepare yourself for a different future and if she returns you can then decide if her past adventures makes her a suitable wife any longer.

iyamacog

My first thought is perhaps she realized you weren't the father she may have been seeking. 2nd thought being perhaps you never really loved you. But was looking for security rather than a loving life mate. 3rd thought is perhaps she's been somewhat brainwashed into some religious thinking that now she doesn't fully believe. Last thought, perhaps a little bit of first 3 thoughts.
At any rate, it seems stability and longevity doesn't seem traits she's able to cope with. Some people actually need all the confusion in their lives to feel complete. I wouldn't dwell on her departure...But rather get your own life back in order. You remain in your prime at 50. Please take full advantage of your own good fortune.
Best Wishes for a speedy recovery!

Sabe

If she doesn't want to be with you, then she just doesn't. I'm sure this is very hard for you, but you just have to move on. Find someone not so crazy, and who will truly love you.

yoadriannejohnson

your pastor should be encouraging her to get marriage counseling and you both should work it out. good luck.

Piggy

Understand - she's set against you now. Be prepared for the fight. Take steps to protect yourself. change the locks, change your phone number, empty all bank accounts that are in her name before she does. Tell the police about her behaviour. Let friends know what she's doing. Speak to a solicitor, and never give her the benefit of any doubt. She will do all she can to take you for everything she can, and destroy the rest.

johncb1963

Im going to be totally honest here,Your 50,shes 29,I believe that pretty much sums it up.She realized that by the time shes 45,you ll be on social security,possibly in bad health and shell still be relatively young,so she bailed. Now im not trying to be hurtful,you simply need to hear the truth,it very seldom works out on such a huge age gap,and if shes filed a restraining order and all that against you,you really,really,need to let it go,salvage your pride,and wish her well.I know it hurts,your old enough to realize that love and life does,but don't make any more of a fool out of yourself chasing after a woman young enough to be your daughter.And really,I am sorry your in such pain,it will get better one day,but shes not going to come back,I think thats pretty clear.

Hyun Tsai

Use your "persuasion" skills.

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