Need a little of advice?

Here's my story. My husband cheated on me 2 years ago and I thought we had a wonderful marriage (he thought otherwise i suppose). Anyways, we have been together 9 years and I stayed after I found out he cheated, but something is happening and I don't know what to do.
At the time me and my husband got together my best friend was a guy(which i had strong feelings for) and i knew he didn't feel the same so I had to move on with my life and we lost touch after I met my husband. Anyways, to make a long story short, he has for 9 years contacted me at least twice a year and I just didn't care cause I was so happily married I didn't want to mess up my marriage because talking to him i felt like would make me have the feelings i use to have for him again. I honestly have had dreams about him all through my marriage. Anyways, he has just recently contacted me and i gave in to talk to him. There hasn't been any crazy talk just how are you and catching up on each others life ( he has someone living with him by the way), and i am not sure if I should feel bad or not, but the old sick at my stomach feeling just talking to him about nothing. Do you suppose my feelings have just changed towards my husband after all he put me through or what? Just give me your inputs on this situation.

It is normal to feel like that about old flames. Don't feel bad at all. We have all been there. Whether or not your husband cheated..
Also, if you feel too strongly for this other man, continuing a relationship with him may in fact hurt your marriage in the long run so don't put too much time and energy into your old flame. Focus on your marriage. But if your hubby mess's up again, kick him to the curb.

Ûž

whatever you do...
don't cheat!
2 wrongs don't make a right!
it seems to me like you we're never truly in love with the hubby since this other guy was always on your mind...think about that!

sarah

Your not in a happy marriage because you settled, and maybe your husband did to. People who are in love do not think of other people, and they do not cheat on the person they love. Maybe you both need to figure out why you are even together.

Confused

Once the trust in a marriage is gone, there really isnt anything left in the marriage. You do not feel connected to your husband like you probably used to and that special feeling of "I am the only one for him" flew out of the window a long time ago. That is one of the most special parts of a marriage. That that man loves you enough to only be with you forever. Well, apparently your husband doesnt feel that way. You tried to lstay happy in your marriage, but it sounds to me the truth is that you are ready for a meaningful relationship again. Go with your gut and keep talking to this other guy. As soon as things start getting personal in your mind, it is time for a divorce. Good luck.

Paige Due 10/28/09

Whatever you do, do not cheat
the fact that your husband has cheated on you before makes him a little untrustworthy. So, why don't you try tricking him into marriage counseling or just have a sit-down with him and tell him what is on your mind or what you are worried about. Sure, he isn't going to come out about it, but you can at least say, "_____, We need to talk" and demand to know if he wants to keep going on in your marriage. Don't let him walk away, sit on him if you have to! Anything you can to find out what he wants to do in his life. As for your friend, maybe you should keep him on hold for a little bit until you know for sure if your husband wants to go on.

The results of your sit down may be negative, but you can't let a guy who doesn't love you enough (so much that he has CHEATED on you) bring you down. If he can get over you, you can get over him. After the negative part, THEN run over to your friend and let him comfort you. That's what friends are for. I don't know about his new live-in roommate though, but all i can say other than what I've said already is good luck!

I hope I've helped you!

Sue C

I don't feel you're having feelings of "getting back" at your husband or anything of that nature, I feel you're just having memory feelings of this person again. Of course I too well know the feelings of being cheated on as I too went thru that. Yes, it does hurt & even tho we forgive, we w/NEVER forget. I just wonder IF you're having tho'ts of what it might have been had you stayed w/this other person. I just think the whole thing is triggering memories of the past for whatever reason. I don't think you should feel any guilt however for saying hi to an old friend tho. You sure aren't doing anything other than that, so I wouldn't read too much into it. Just be careful tho that it doesn't turn into anything else tho as that would cause a lot of confusion & hurt to you in the long run. But, I don't feel it has anything to do w/any "pay backs" IF that's what you're referring to. Best to you...:)

SlyKitty

Keep it up & you'll end up in bed with him & then you will be asking a lot of desperate questions. If you value your marriage to your husband you'd better snip this in the bud because you will end up a weakling like your husband once was. Cheating is the easiest thing to do & what you are doing is cheating.

madeucum49

Sounds like they have but you gotta make yourself happy. So you do for you and what matters to you. Your hubby has already showed how he feels.

I am in the playpen with Mildred

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: