Need some marriage advise?

belleza_o4

i feel hes being insensative i mean u r having his kid he should take tis time to pamper u more n try to make tis a very memorable exp.
anyways it depends in what u feel like doing if u wan him to go out or not i guess u should work around that first

BabeHeart

You can go out and drink club soda or something appropriate. Why do you have to stay home and miss the fun just because you are pregnant?

Get out there and keep living life or you will begin to resent him and your fetus more and more as you start to feel it's their fault you are missing out, and you start wondering what he's up to, etc. It's just a recipe for issues that can easily be avoided.

thewon4

Think about what you need from him while you are pregnant (time, affection, help with work, etc). Let him know.

Don't think about what he should/shouldn't be allowed to do while your pregnant or he will resent you, the baby, and pregnancy in general.

Pregnancy creates a new list of things for a man to do, it doesn't create a new list of things a man can't do. Unfortunately, pregnancy can create a new list of things for a woman not to do. It is unfair, but don't feel like he must live by the same sensibilities.

If he must live by the same rules, you're both going to be lying on the couch eating pickles and ice cream. Nothing will get done!!!!

cancun

yes once in a while its ok but not all the time and he should offer you to come along too even tho you wil not be drinking but at least you wont feel like left out

Melody N

Seriously... you are pregnant not dead!! Go out and have fun, enjoy yourself!!

Cam's Mommy

I'm married with an 11 week old baby, and I strongly encourage my husband to go out with his friends. Granted, he doesn't go out often, maybe once a month or so at the most. I feel it's a good idea for him to keep in touch with his buddies and it isn't my place to tell him he can't go do something (I'd flip out if he tried to do that to me), as long as he isn't coming home drunk or high. Don't worry, after baby is born you can get a sitter and both go out together again. The time will pass before you know it.

Heatherrrrrrrr

Oh honey I know how you are feeling. I really really do. My husband and I dated for 5 years before getting married. We were married 8 years before our son came along. We were best buds. Always at happy hours with friends, at the bars for football season, and out at fancy restaurants on weekend nights having wine etc. When I got pregnant I felt lost. I missed the connection with the friends and with my husband. I couldn't see the light. I couldn't see how great it was to be pregnant and having our son. I was excited about it but I still missed the "old me."

Give it up girl. You will never have the old me back. As much as you want it you never will. You have to invent a new you. You relationships with your friends and family will change. Sometimes for the good and sometimes now. But you will evolve and be just fine. Our son is almost 4 now and we still find time to do stuff together. Wednesday we went to a concert and last night I went out with a friend. This weekend my husband is going kayaking.

What I would do if I were you. Talk to your husband. Tell him you miss him. Tell him you miss the social aspect of seeing him and your friends. See if the next night out they can plan it at a restaurant so you can go for a while and hang. See if they will go to a movie grill place so you can eat and they can drink and see a movie. You should be cool with him going out.

Nita R

I think you both already have a good balance. Good for you! Letting him go out is great. The fact that he doesn't stay out late at night and the fact that he wants to be home is even better. Just keep open communication and you'll both do great. You can go out with him too. You don't have to drink to have fun.

Tamara A

Yes it should be OK for him to go out with his friends once in awhile. But sometimes you should go too! Maybe when he goes with his friends, you should have a girls night with your friends. That's what my husband and i do, and it has been working very well! =]

angelhaiku

You can go too! Just don't have beers. Have a virgin drink.

Or have the girls over and make margaritas and just have a virgin one. Don't make pregnancy a drag... carry on your normal lifestyle with just a few little tweaks to make it work for the baby :)

And yes, let your man go out! My theory (and it does work) is the more freedom you give them, the more time they'll want to be with you. Men hate feeling tied down. Just like we do :)

Laura

You can go as long as stick to a soda or even better a juice.

L N

I was in your shoes when I was married and pregnant. Needless to say my desire that my husband was still having fun caused a big problem. We lost our connection because I was at home going throught he pregnancy while he was out with the guys until 4 am getting drunk.

Needless to say, in the end we divorced because I had done it during the pregnancy he thought it was o.k. after the pregnancy and continued to go out while I stayed home with the baby.

Just be careful. You won't be able to party as much after the baby so now is a good time to slow it down a little. Also, second hand smoke is also bad for the fetus.

jaedee

you dont have to let him go by himself just because you pregnant...go with him and ya'lls buddies and have a good time...for example just because both of you go to the bar to drink doesnt mean you have to drink because your in a bar just hang out with the friends and enjoy your freedom while it last's. dont isolate yourself...not healthy...only makes you go nuts!

sooo...join him and friends when you they go out because when the baby is here its going to be hard and with sleepless nights and did i tell you less fun???yup less fun.

<~red~>

You can go with him - just dont drink. Have fun and let his friends treat you nice and take care of you!

ogkmqueen

I know how you feel, I felt the same way while I was pregnant. One time I actually started crying at a party because I felt so left out. If I were you I would talk to your husband about how it makes you feel left out. Hopefully you can come up with a compromise where he can go out sometimes but also make more of an effort to stay home with you some nights too. Let him know that when he's a father, you don't want him to be going out all the time and getting drunk, he needs to go through this transition with you, and although I don't think it's fair to tell him he can't go out at all I definitely think that he needs to understand where you're coming from and be sensitive to what you're going through! He's the father after all and his life is going to change just as much as yours after the baby is born. Be nice when talking to him about it though, don't give him an ultimatum or anything or he'll just get mad. Just tell him something like: "Honey, I know you love going out with your friends and I'm fine with you doing that sometimes, however, I feel left-out when you leave and I would appreciate it if you could set some time aside to spend with me, maybe we could plan a "date night" once a week."

something like that. If he's a good husband then he will listen to your feelings and be supportive of your situation. If he doesn't, then you need to seriously think about how your life is going to be when the baby comes.

Darrell

it all depends on if you can do the same.it's alright to have fun without the wife/husband.but you should wanna spend time with each other too but if he can't do these things with you there then something is strange.i had a friend like that she always wanted to go out with her sisters amd mom.she never asked me to go but when i go she was worried about me with other women.if you can trust him then it's alright but once in a while not everyday.but watch it when people drink they do things they don't remmember.or things they wanna do and blame it on the drinks.so trust your gut

Joe B

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Check it out!

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http://www.everythingaboutlove.info/Save-Your-Marriage-Stop-A-Break-Up-Get-Your-Ex-Back.php

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