Newly married....our FIRST argument?

<~red~>

There will be many fights and many arguments. Apologize for now, and sit down and talk about it. Communication is the key and so is compromise.

Happy-2

The entire premise of asking this question is a mistake. Take it from someone who's been married for 22 years (me). You should not be trying to draw battle lines and figure out who's right and who's wrong, creating a winner and a loser. Instead, you should be opening a dialogue.

Apparently, your husband felt insecure that another man was paying attention to you. Feeling insecure hurts. You should be listening to him and negotiating how to handle this situation in the future in a way where no feelings get hurt. For his part, your husband should listen to you when you tell him that you did not *intend* to do anything that might have made him uncomfortable.

Look at this not in win/lose terms. Instead, use this situation to start figuring out how to open up and listen to each other. I wish somebody had told me this when I was a newlywed!

VaNeSsA

just tell him your sorry and make him feel secure.
doesn't matter who was wrong.
he is probably just jealous and didn't like that you were talking to his friend the whole night. your intentions may have not been wrong but they might have looked wrong. just put your self in his shoes.

CAMS

as time goes by you will learn that it is not always about who is right or wrong. 99% of the time it is better to just apologize and move on.

Random Bob

You kids are so cute!

Anita

How old you guys?

19 year old?

Sound like it.

Just Surfin

If he's going to be upset that you can be friends with a guy, then you have a lot of problems ahead. Half of the human population does not suddenly cease to exist simply because you have a ring on your finger.

Ask him why it bothered him that you were so friendly with his buddy. And then ask him why he doesn't trust you. The line of "I trust you, I just don't trust him" doesn't fly, because it takes two to tango and short of his buddy kidnapping you and carting you away against your will, anything that might happen would have to be mutual. So why does your husband not trust you enough to believe that you wouldn't let anything happen?

KitKat

Give him a pacifier, put him back in his playpen and you follow. This is so childish. Both of you are wrong.

Hope

I think you should apologize for not realizing that it was making him that uncomfortable. Let him know that it was just an innocent conversation, and that in the future you will be more aware of things like that. What more can you do? If you honestly didn't notice it bothing him, like I said, just apologize for not realizing and let it go at that.

x2000

It all depends on whether you were "chatting" or flirting the whole night. If you were just chatting, then you need to get your husband over his insecurities.

SHMILY

Yep i knew a guy like that also. He is just insecure, You should not apologize you did nothing wrong. But i would reassure him that he is your one and only.

Longbrownhair

One of the most important things you will learn about marriage is that sometimes you need to apologize and try to understand the other person's point of view. Instead of saying I'm sorry but I'm not sure what I did, try I'm sorry for behaving in a way which made you uncomfortable, now I know for next time what makes you feel badly. Even if you don't start an argument you need to take any opportunity to learn from it, evaluate it, discuss it and move on from it.

Seriously?

As the hostess you really should be socializing with everyone...not sure what your husband is upset about because you don't say...is he upset that you talked to his friend or is he upset because you didn't help out more or what?

In any case, you should have mingled with all...if that's what he's upset about - apologize.

NONAME

he sounds very immature. maybe after he grows up a bit he won't make a BFD about another guy finding you interesting.

Blackwidow

Yes, you should apologize. I have been married for nearly 6 years (it is not alot compared to some, but it is way more than everyone we know that is our age) and the best advice I can offer you is to always be the one to apologize. As the wife, you are most likely wrong, so you are the one who needs to make it right. After all of the arguments that my husband and I have been in I can honestly say that 99% of the time it has been my fault. So do your husband a favor and always be the one to apologize. Husbands are saints for having to put up with wives!

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