OK I do not understand?

DudeMan

At least he lets you use the internet

3GOLDS

I hear yah....not all men are like this...I have to say I have a pretty good man who likes to cook, however he does like the couch!!

Mongo

You married the wrong guy. Too bad.

You are 100% correct! I am a man and I have never understood that myself. My wife works just as hard as I. We both cook, clean and raise our kids evenly. I would have it no other way. You let him do it! That is the problem, you let him get away with it for too long. You said nothing just swallowed his crap for so long. He does not need a wife but a slave as far as I can see. You are not his slave. RESPECT is what he does not give you. Anyway I do not want to bash him neither, remember I am also a man. It all comes down to respect. Either he has it or he does not. Either you demand for it or you dont! Good luck!
By the way men are NOT right. For the ones that think that way.

shdwtalker2002

Yeah, why DO I always make my wife do everything? Why DO I always have to be right? Why . . . oh, wait, I don't do those things. I help with my children especially, and if my wife cooks me something, it's because she wants to, and I always say, "Thanks for cooking this," because it's not something I expect. In any case, I am insulted. In the future, please ask, "Why does my husband . . ." and not "Why do men . . .".

sassy_395

I'm a single mom, and I have to work and do everything else. I would welcome a decent man bringing home the bacon, while I watched the kids, cooked, and cleaned. If he's working...he's not lazy. And, he can sit and watch T.V. all he wants.

dark angel

Well I dont get it either but maybe if you boycot cleaning and cooking LOL he will realize how much work you do around the house! Or just tell him but most men are lazy and they dont know what to do if their wife is tired and cant make him a sandwich!

Michael K

What you've have described is a stereotype. NOT all men are lazy good for nothings. You may have one but not all men are alike just like not all women are alike. IF your man is that lazy, push him out of that couch and get him to help out or push him to the curb.

Brina

Um. My husband always helps when he comes home from work. He enjoys bath time. I guess I'm lucky.

Butterfly Girl

You should hang out here all night and play on answers while he watches TV...make him find you.

Victor M

You married the wrong guy. I am available. Take advantage

Tricia P

Well if you are not working outside of the home those are your jobs. I do understand the needing a break but if you ask my husband he will tell you I complain about the same thing ur husband does.

Lola

It does not make sense to me either. It amazes me that a man goes to work for 8 hours and then does nothing, but a woman goes to work for 8 hours and then comes home and does everything (eg: cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children). I think it is stupid. Women are just better at multi-tasking I guess.

Onenamill13

That is the stereo-typical way how things use to be, but it doesn't have to be that way??!! Now...if the husband is the only one working and bringing home the income...yes..I would have to agree that if the women is at home she should at least do certain chores, because the husband is busy working to make the money. Now...if both the husband and wife are working it should be equal-opportunity for both. Their is no reason why certain things can't be divided up between the both. If a man insist that the women should do the household chores and still have a 9-5 job....someone needs to set some ground rules that it doesn't work that way with you....OR leave him!! If this applies to you.....

gerrifriend

We let them do it. If you both work full time then make a list of the household tasks that need doing and ask your husband which ones he prefers to do. Mine cooks, and he's very very very good at it.

Virgo

well, it could be worse-you could both be at home with NO one working or bringing home ANY bacon at all--would that be better for you and the kids? not really--it is hard being at home and doing everything...but it could be a lot worse--you could be working, cleaning, and taking care of the kids--that is what I do---my husband stays home--I work--and when I get home, I clean, but he is at home taking care of the kids-and when I get home, as the woman, mother, and person-who-used-to stay at home--even I expect more from my husband when I get home---but then again-it's easier for mom to do so much more I think....just our nature to do more as a mother (clean, cook, etc) we have all of that on our minds constantly and our husbands don't--that's human nature...

Jamus Trip AM HO

Because our mothers set that as the standard. I was the same way but after about 2 yrs my wife put her foot down and gave me quite a reality check. So now I clean and cook do laundry etc right along with her. (Still wont scrape the cat litter though) Ya know now that I do these thing I wouldnt have it any other way. Its become a big part of our together time.

rhsaunders

Perhaps you are living with a Neanderthal who actually believes that. There is no reason that people can't share the household chores, although if the man of the house has put in a stressful 8-hour day, with an hour or two commuting on top of it, he may simply be too tired to help much.

Mommymonster

Sounds like you and honey have some issues you really need to discuss! Does he help with the children in any way? Does he have household jobs? Do you have a full time job? If you are a stay at home Mom, there used to be a site out there that showed a breakdown of how much you would be worth in the real world and doggone it, I can't find it right now, but it is priceless, and helps to bring a well needed discussion around.

rblewis7

Well, I dont think you can label all men this way. I dont think this way and know it is super hard being a mother. It might be from that I was only raised by my mom.

Either way try to talk to him about it or try to read some books about it. I think mostly you probably just want some attention from him and jsut some credit for how much work you do for the family. He may pay the bills but you keep everyone together which I find the most important.

If nothing else work just go back to work for awhile and see how he likes life like that :)

Jenicia

We do it to ourselves. I know if I sat down and watched t.v. at the "end" of the day, life would go on, but I don't let myself. We need to set limits on ourselves and quit blaming someone else, no matter how lazy he is, for what we're willing to do to ourselves.

MELISSA S

It sounds like you can't be yourself (and that is sad). if he loves you he would share in the household chores. Do you have a 8 hour job or is your job at home?Either way working together is important in all aspects of a relationship, and if you can't express your feelings , you will eventually blow up, and that won't be good for nayone in the family get counceling and if he refuses you need to make some major discisions about your future with or without him.

Yvonne M

Basically men (or women) do what we allow them to do. You don't only raise the kids, you also raise your husband (wife). If you would have delegated work from the get-go, it would not have turned out like this. A relationship is supposed to be team work in every area of it and a continuing process of give & take. It just doesn't change over night. Would probably help if you sat down when the two of you have some quiet time and tell him in a calm tone of voice (not accusing) how you really feel and how he could help to make life easier. Let him know that he also would benefit from a more relaxed wife, as well as the kids ;-)
If moma aint happy - nobody is happy <wink>

slp9209

Because thats the way it was when the man went to work and the women stayed home and raised the kids and the woman took care of the house then the womens lib came about then the woman had to give her input dont anyone realize that this is when kids started doing what they wanted they had no more care for family values or even respect because they did not have that upbringing when their mother was at home teaching them disapline because she had to get her imput on the work pl;ace after she burned her bra this is how most of the family breakdown started with alot of carring on at the work place and this was the cause of the fall of the american family structuer

nyomi l

women can multitask men hate that why not tell ur husband 2 get off his fat **** and do every thing u r doin good luck x

gillium369

hahahahahaha your family is opposite of mine. my mom works and puts and my sisters to bed while my dad or me cooks and he cleans the house and works....thats pretty funny. what i think you should is sit him down and tell him that your team and that you need help, with cleaning the kids etc. if he gets mad list everything you do for the house and the family then list everything he does. most guys will be against it at first but give them a night and they would have thought alot about it.

A Soldiers Wife

Not all men are like that.. I agree there are a lot that do tho. My husband understands we both work,. so we work at home together on everything... laundry, dinner, cleaning. I dont think your looking to get out, just to understand. There really isnt an answer for it. But, I would just sit back and let him do some of the chores.. see how it is to work and still keep things going at home. Good Luck

twostories

Ouch! My wife has the same rights I do, the right to live a happy and guilt free life being the most important of any. We chose each other, and know who we are as individuals. If you chose your life partner, it's up to you to put the waa waa's away and work on positive relationship reinforcements. both my wife and I have worked many long hours... 10's 12's and 16's, it all goes in the nest. I've changed diapers, repaired appliances and cars, cooked and cleaned, went without so the kids could get extra junk, and so has my wife. Bottom line ....It takes two, and if the two don't have a rhythm...STOP, TALK, put yourselves in check and get back on the track. Yes , you are a valuable asset to the family ( of utmost importance ), but you must respect your mate the same as you want respect. I felt the same way as you, being a husband and father, my wife saw I was down and she made my box lunch one day and when I opened it, she had carved in a banana..." I appreciate all you do..I love you" When I got home that night , (after all the heckling on the job site) I took her out to dinner and explained, " I really needed that, it woke me up to my selfishness" I take NOTHING for granted anymore. I am ever thankful for everything she does, and have been for 20 years.

anil bakshi

You got one hard nut!

Do not fly into rage. But, women do many things the same ways or the same things in many ways. The shoots or off-shoots of such serial acts can not be plausibly argued or resolved when given 2 are within the institution of marriage. Believe it or not man remains thoroughly confused many-a-time by wife's overindulgence in works or unnecessarily dropped capabilities to manage things single handedly (including that of children) when the picture is being painted with blue color.

The problem is generally with the present/current profile, but when everything is OK in the present then women get slack to carve out the shared future (grooming the joint responsibility). It is an inter-personal problem and, joint management depends on the motive that kids provide to this relationship.

One should not make oneself totally predictable even to the spouse, and rather each should reserve elements of surprise for keeping the relationship caring, curious and contributive.

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