Ok yahoo community, you decide my reaction: stand my ground or get the f*** over it?

questionsihave2007

well, i dont know exactly how you are but, i'd say get over it. i wouldnt go out unless i felt like it, and had enough time to look and feel good.
that sounds like me before, i used to have school, than go straight to work on fridays, and i would never want to go out on fridays. that was look like a bum and chill day. my bf was always ok with that, and if he made plans for us, it was always ok to break them if i didnt want to.

Brandee

i'd say get over it-- be happy you have a man you wants to take you out....maybe that's why he made plans- to make you less grumpy and stressed

The Drat. Penny Dreadful

I have been in your situation. I am so dead, DEAD tired sometimes and would rather feel like I want to stay home, and my spouse will want to go out to a movie or something. I try to think before I react, I could retaliate and refuse to go anywhere, but (on Fridays) I can think of how he has been home all day and probably wants to get out of the house and wants to do something fun with me. It's hard to bite my tongue, but I do give in a lot. Whatever helps my partner be more happy in feeling his wants and needs are important too.
Maybe meet in the middle and do a compromise? Like say, "ok, tonight is fine. But can we/I stay home next Friday?" OR "can we be home by this time?" ..... And especially, pleasantly, itterate to your spouse that you would like to be called first before big plans are made since he knows how you feel on Fridays.
Marriage can be a sacrifice, but it serves the marriage best to keep your partner happy. This of course, goes both ways.

When you think about it, this is a little thing compared to more bigger and maybe emotional things in a marriage, try to let little things slide off your back. Things will be much happier this way.
Hope this helped.

Ms. GTO

I can understand your frustration, but I think your man was just being thoughtful..You call him wonderful in one sentence, but in the next, you complain.
One Friday night out won't kill you. He went to the trouble of making plans, just go with it! Be happy that he still wants to take you places.
Afterward though, have a talk with him and re emphasize that you like to have Fri. nights at home...maybe next time you all could go out on Sat. night?

dr_quatto

GO ahead and ruin it, then you will never have this problem again, cause you will be alone. No more annoying boyfriend anything from then on out, right?

MiZz SaAk

you need to get over it and realize maybe this is for you too!!!

dnicky

Maybe for some reason he thought that this would be a wonderful surprise. If he is normally pretty understanding about how you are on Friday's and he normally doesn't bother you... I would let this one slide and just enjoy the moment. But if he repeats this again a little to soon then I would communicate with him about how tired I am and that I would appreciate if next time he would give me a heads up.. If this is a first time, I would let it go....

Ms. Mimsie

In the grand scheme of things, this is such a small issue. If you've got a really good guy, just plaster a smile on your face and go. So many of wish we were in your shoes with some great man dying to take us out for the evening.

invisiblepedestrianchaser

I can *only* speak from my experience here, so for what it's worth...
The male ego is FRAGILE! As if we didn't already know that. So, your boyfriend planning something and you even saying no to it will probably really hurt his feelings. I know when my husband plans something, even just the smallest thing, and I even remotely hint that it was a stupid idea, it's the equivalent of stepping all over his heart and setting it on fire. I mean, the poor guy feels so hurt. Even though I think in my head "that is the STUPIDEST idea and it doesn't make ANY sense why he planned _____ at this time..." you just grin and bear it. It always ends up being a positive thing for me, so why not give it a shot? See what happens. If you don't like it, make sure you tell him in a nice way that going out on Friday nights is just not your cup of tea.
I know what you mean about being grouchy and just not wanting to deal with anything! With guys, it seems like you always have to give them an A for Effort otherwise they'll never, ever, ever plan anything EVER again!!!!
Once again, just speaking from my experience!

Slassy Girl

Get over it - definitely! Your man was trying to do something nice for you; take it for what it's worth.

Is it a Boy? Is it a Girl?

i think you should get over it, only because your man was just trying to do something nice, and its hard for the blokes to get things right, isnt it...
I do however understand! its when your in the worst mood that the boys do something your not in the mood for!

awftx

Do both, talk with him (you don't have to be upset to do this) let him know that he should consider you, i.e. work schedule, driving, tiredness, etc. before making plans for the both of you. Next time to contact you and discuss the matter before commiting to someone. Then having said that, go and enjoy the evening. If that doesn't work, remember you should both be playing from the same rule book, so if or when the time comes and you make whatever plans you'd like, which includes him, you won't have to be concerned about contacting him until after the fact, then you can let him know....

HyperDog

Get over it, tell him not to do that again without checking with you first.

Sometimes getting out and away from the house, as well as doing something FUN might energize you enough that you'll actually enjoy the evening.

carriegreen13

You are not married, stand your ground and tell him no, honey, you are working so hard during the week, you are trying to make a better life for yourself, there is nothing wrong with that.

I really hate it when there are plans made out also, and I do not know about it, my husband hates it to!!!!

Honey, you are normal, stand your ground and just relax!!!!
My friend lives in Miami, and she HATES the traffic, when she gets home, she just wants to zone and just be by herself for a while.

When I was single, many years ago, I used to fight traffic also, and just come home, relax, play with my kitty, and have a glass of wine and watch tv the whole Friday night!!!!

Then on Saturday, my friend and I would hit the bars!!!!

But come on, you need one day to relax, you are sooo normal, stand your ground, and tell him how you feel!!!

You deserve it!!!!!

calendargirl

I can understand your frustrations, however I think that the occasional Friday night date with your guy would be okay. Just take a long shower, spruce yourself up, and put a smile on that tired grumpy face and enjoy the evening. You can sleep when you are dead. Do ask him if he could call you next time so you could leave early and be ready on time for him.

tshnobodysfool

I know just how you feel about Friday nights, but if you ruin the evening you are messing it up for yourself too. Maybe if you don't want to go - just tell him you're not up to it and are staying in - if he starts a fight - he's ruining it. Or you can go, but if you do, don't hold a grudge and ruin it with a crappy attitude.
Deal with the communication issues and his lack of consideration another day - when you have more energy and it's not about what you're doing right then.

Jean

Do this

Take maybe a slight nap,nice shower to wake up, get some music pumping and a glass of wine going while you put yr clothes and make on and you will be ready to go out. That is how I do it when I am feeling blah and don't wanna go out but my man does.

pitchingcoach

Give in. He did the work. You should just enjoy it.

CollegeKid88

STOP BEING A DIVA! Appreciate the fact that your wonderful man took charge and made plans for you. Take a nap and a shower and enjoy a fun night. You can sleep in tomorrow.

Really now

Go, get tipsy, dance with some cute guy! Tomorrow you can tell your social secretary that perhaps he failed to detect your patterns regarding going out Friday nights. You can set him straight then. But go out, make him take care of you, and have fun! I had the same situation last week and Jose Q. made it all better. My husband is looking at me in a little different way (Like "What the hell..."), but I bet he tells me next time before he makes plans for us!

kheserthorpe

Go, have a good time, then let him know on sunday that you're often tired and not up for it.

Belinda28

Wow, maybe I should move to Miami. The traffic sounds great.

I live in Chicago and it takes me 70 minutes to drive 8 miles to work.

Just do it for him and pretend to be happy to be there.

U Can't Handle The Truth

get over it! go out and relieve some of that stress then go home and get-u-some. He must have something great to ASK you. It is valentines day weekend!

free_angel

Go. It's not like you have to do the cooking. Eat and kick back at the club.

bootsontheroad

I would say you have a good man there. He knows you are stressed and wanted to do something nice. Yes, it is Friday and you are stressed by everything. handle that stress and traffic by thinking you are going to have a good time and that guy set it up all on his own.

In other words, look at the positive in life and not the negative. Please do this before you drive yourself nuts.

keithleyjustin

Stop-Maybe he wants to be with his lady for a change...

Louise C

this one is very puzzling.

On the one hand, it sounds like your man is doing something lovely for you, dinner and going out etc.

On the other hand, he knows how tired you are on Friday nights, so why would he deliberatly arrange a date for that night?

I cannot decide whether he is motivated by a simple wish to give you a good time, or a malicious desire to make you suffer total exhaustion. i'd give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he just forgot that you dislike going out on Friday nights.

Either way, I think you need to explain to him that going out on Fridayh nights simply isn't your thing. Explain to him that yoy would prefer to go out another night. Otherwise he is probably going to go on doing this sort of thing.

oracleofohio

Get over it and go enjoy yourself. If you get most Fridays to do what you want then stop complaining. Have 2 shots for me!

eillem123

You should let him a call would have been appreciated and please please don't do that to you again, the get over it and go out and try to enjoy yourself.

spud

i am coming at this from the other angle as it sounds like my husbands feelings to going out on Friday nights.
go with the flow for once, you never know you may have a fab time. have a wine sit back and relax. sometimes it can get boring for the other partner if someone is putting the brakes on all the time. as long as its not all the time he does this i don't see a problem. so get over it i say.

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