Okay please help. Ive married a bully I cant take it anymore?

julie z

i think you need to talk whether he will listen or not is another matter. just get the focus in your head about your future and keep it there strong and talk to him be strong and tell him that you want the relationship over with. i know its tough especially with a guy like yours but something has to be done how dare a person behave in this way to another married or not .what you had before he came along is yours and in amarriage you shared it with him. is the only thing he shares with you a bad attitude and misery if so wheres the balance , tip him off the scales. you get one life . is this the only way you want live it .strength to keep who you are. oh and as for ground rules make a few of your own.listen someone comes into your life, into your home ,takes over it belittles you has a stinking attitude and on top is making the ground rules.hold it right there married or not. if your friend said that to you you would probably be able to find the answer for her good luck. be strong just think could you live like this for the next twenty years. keep that in mind cos if not today it will give you the strength one day

forty and fabulous

You can`t run away,it`s your home and your children`s.He has to go............I don`t know how you can make him.Try and find happinesss for your children`s sake.

DAVE O

be strong and tell him to leave, have your family with you when you do it.....
or put all his belongings in a van and send it to him, while he's at work....with a note, telling him never to come back.
good luck

unicornslayer184

jump kick him in the face

constantdreamer82

Did you have the house before you married? If so, file for divorce and put in a move-out order (I can't remember exactly what they call it). Then he will have to leave the residence.

Leave. It will only get worse. and if you ever want to marry again make sure you have a long engagement so the real man comes out and you know exactly what he is like.
Get an attorney and file for divorce.

tulip

leave him before he ruins your life completely

Bethesda

LEAVE THE GIT!!!! COWARD
I would never hurt a hair on my partners head.
Find someone who will care for you.
Take care & good luck.

wee B

force the sale make it split 2 ways and get out

racermom

You do deserve a happy life as do your children!!

If he is ruining that life for both you and the kids then he needs to get out. Just because it was "his" furniture does not mean that it is not both of yours now.

Tell him to hit the road or change his stripes. I am sure the stripe changing thing will not happen so I would get an attorney and get him out of your home. You did say that you were in the home before he came along so he can just go merrily back to what ever hole he crawled out of and make some other poor schmuck miserable!!

whateverbabe

I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU BECAUSE MY BF IS A BIT OF A BULLY AND A CONTROL FREAK ASWELL........YOU JUST HAVE TO LOVE THEM OR LEAVE THEM.....I'M SORRY YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS

Dellboy from UK

Do NOT run away. This is your home and you should fight this monster in order to get rid of him. You will not be happy until you do. This sort of behaviour by him is totally unacceptable.
Seek professional advice - a solicitor or Citizens Advice Bureau, or a women's refuge centre.
I hate to admit it, but I was once like this bully, and caused untold misery. I hate myself for what I was and hope that I have now changed.
But I can tell you that people like this deserve everything they get - and I hope that is the boot from you. Good luck.
Put your children's safety and welfare above all else. That will keep you focused and give you strength.

ambertottie

What a horrible situation to be in. It is not you, its him!!!
I think that you should plan seriously about your future, he is making you miserable, which will affect your children. I think that I would seek advise from Shelter, gain as much information as you can, try and find yourself and the children a safe house, chuck all his furniture out, and change the locks on the door. Tell him that you have reported him for mental cruelty and that your children have suffered as a result of his control. Be brave and good luck.

TRIKER CHICK

You need to get rid of this man because, hes destroying your life, and believe me he sounds llike my ex husband, he drove me to the point where i wanted to kill myself, and my children were suffering and, i knew i needed to do something about it, and two years ago i plucked up the courage and walked out of my marriage, and i now live quite happy in my own place, go and speak to a soliicitor and see where you stand if you throw him out, honestly for your children's sake don't put up with this sort of behaveiour, they won't thank you for it in years to come, my oldests son from a previous marriage keeps reminding me, about how i put him through alot of stress with my ex husband, do the right thing, don't worry if he takes money back off you, come 6or 7 month you will start to live again.

flapjack

I have dealt for many years with these sort of relationship issues which revolve around the concepts of power and control. You as a mother of four married a man who is now taking over your life and that of your children. He is the one with relationship issues but by making it out to be your fault you are now considering running away. He wins again. Go and see a solicitor who will get the orders to remove him. Do not let him apply either emotional or financial arguments to sway you. Stop and consider what you would advise a friend to do. There are many sad parts to this but I guarantee it will only get worse the longer you don't act and whilst you may feel guilty for going to a solicitor it is only because he makes you feel guilty as you wouldn't put up with this from anyone else.

misslilly

The first thing you need to do is see a lawyer. Most men who abuse you verbally will eventually abuse you physically. This is a sick creep. It's not good for your children to be in this kind of environment. If you don't get him out for yourself do it for the children.

I is I

you cant live with your husband, your husband cant live with you....... its obvious u guys wont get along! get divorced!!

Stella

If you think this marriage might be able to be saved then you could try relationship counselling. Personally I would be working on an exit plan to save myself and the children from his bizarre behaviour and the damage it causes all of you. Good luck

disco

stick this arrogant git in the cow shed and lock the biggest bull in there with him and lets hope it kicks him to death but on a serious note you need to get him removed from there before he destroyers you self confidence because once you lost that mate your knacked good luck

Spaced Out

Call someone and talk to them. Someone close or a helpline. If while talking you decide you really can't take it anymore take the children and go somewhere safe like your parents or a close freinds and if the guy really cares he will talk to you properly. Hope this helps. Good Luck and God Bless.

zail

I can not in this situation tell you what you need to do, I think you already know. I've placed 2 links for you, use them.

void

Don't run away...its ur house...ask him to get out of this abusive marriage...file for divorce...before he starts dominating u even more

mcc

Please Please Please messgae NooNoo, who has left you a message above somewhere, or message me and I will give you her email, she is going through exactly the same thing as you and it is breaking my heart reading your question as I too went through similar but not to the same extent of yourself and noonoo... please message her(as i said through me if you want to,Im dont think she has open messaging on here. it would do her and you the world of good to speak with each other who are both going through the same thing...

Good luck to you and I truly mean it.. x

áƒ¦â™¥áƒ¦ latoya

Oh please please PLEASE run away. Im not joking about this. You sound like a lovely woman, and you really deserve better. He's a total devil, and I bet its soon going to turn into violence. Do you want your kids turning into him? First of all, what he is doing is really really bad; its domestic violence. I mean this: search domestic violence on Google, and ring up one of the free numbers WHEN HE'S DEFINATELY NOT THERE. If he checks your bills for numbers, go to a payphone and ring it or at work. Ask for advise; its all confidential. First talk to him though; express your probs. If he dont agree, then go further.

Think: do you still love him? Do you want him to be your future? I think you'll say no. Now you will have to get the police in - ask for them to come sometime (totally unexpected for him) and then help you get him out. Perhaps you do want to have another way, but I bet you anything you'll need backup/police. Ditch him, and be aware of yourself in the future.

Get latches on your door, a panic alarm or something and make sure he cant get to you.

I wish you best of luck for your future. Men are not everything. Your responsibity is now yourself,and your children.

tiny1488

get a restraining order to get him out of the house and then file for divorce

Shydiva

He is a bully!!! Pack his bags and put them by the door and tell him if he does not play by your rules then he can leave.

The Banshee

leave him...file for divorce...

â™¥pola77â™¥

he's a bully,just leave him!good luck

BabeHeart

So why are you still with him? If the situation cannot be fixed, then it's your choice to stay and settle, or move on.

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