PARENTS please help!! What would you do for your kids if...?

blueberry

wash your husbands mouth out with soap

Honey

Just explain to him how you feel. That kids grow up from what they see and what they are around. I would talk to your husband first and see if he will try and change.

johnnysunshine11

It's his responsibility to you and your children to act, look and sound like an adult. You need to convey this to him immediately. Your children are young and luckily they can change if they start but soon they'll be saying this kind of thing in school and then all Hell will break loose. Be forceful and firm but tell him he must stop it all or the school will be in touch and it's a phonecall he just doesn't want to have. Good luck

Seriously?

You do nothing. It's part of who he is and you and your children love him just that way. If he's like that on the phone - whatever...there could be worse things in life. If you notice the kids picking up on it - call them out on it and explain proper grammar and how you can make your own choices about how to speak (improper) grammar as an adult...

nancy_aguirre3

...didnt u marry him???? im sure when u were dating him u didnt think that once u had kids he would change...thats who he is, no big deal, worry about ur kids if your husband was getting high in front of them...this is nothing. whiney!

Grandma6

You should talk to your husband about it. Could be his friends talk that way and he doesn't even realize he's doing it. You should also talk to your kids about it. They're smart enough to understand.
I raised my youngest child with an older brother and sister that both lied and stole and spent a lot of time in jail. He loves them both and adored them when he was little. It was hard, but I started telling him when he was 2 or 3 that he should love them but what they were doing was wrong. I kept it up with each new incident till a few years ago. I guess it helped because he's a wonderful, responsible 16 year old now.
I know that goes deeper than language but it's the same concept. You'll have to remind them if you hear them talking like their Dad on the phone. Repetition is the key.

You don't sound uppity. You sound educated.

This would be an interesting experience. Why don't you dress like a 'hood rat for a day? Use the ghetto slang, treat him like a dog, etc. Hopefully, he will see how ridiculous you look and act and that's when you can explain to him that he sounds just as ridiculous to you.

You don't want to disrespect your husband to your children. It would be better if your husband can first be made to see that "little pitcher have big ears." Kids are always learning from us--24/7.

I would make sure that the kids are not around or that they are otherwise occupied when your husband goes into ghetto mode. Be careful how the kids see you react. If you overreact, they'll learn that when they want to push your buttons they only have to act like Dad. If you order them not to behave that way, they'll do it behind your back and you'll be building a wall between you and your kids.

THE BEST THING IS TO TURN THE NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE: Try speaking very formally all of the time--maybe even throw in a British accent (if you don't already have one). Do it until the rest of your family cannot stand it any more. When Dad goes ghetto, chime in with the Queen's English. Heck, your kids may even choose to bring in some flavor of their own. Then you could have a multi-cultural night with a special international dinner. Could even be a fun learning experience!

jojo

You can't change your husband...coz he doesn't want to,especially when he's in the company of his friends.You can guide your children though. Continue to be a role model to them, get them to read good books,watch good films/videos and to speak/write correctly.Remind your husband that the children are watching the adults 24/7. Talk to your husband and tell him that you need his support in bringing up your children or the children will pick up their dad's ghetto grammar.Your children will be ok if you guide them well.Good luck!

Nancee

Try talking to your husband about the way that he speaks. I used to talk "ghetto".. I grew up in South Central and all I spoke was "ghetto". Well, until one day that I spoke to an older man and he set me straight. He told me that I sounded ignorant and that it made me seem uneducated. Does your husband KNOW that it bothers you? Point it out to him and tell him that it bothers you. He might just change his ways...

Ontheotherhand

Congratulations. Even after 15 years, the most worrisome issue is the sloppy way he speaks to friends. I'm sorry, but you'll just have to put up with a man that is less than perfect. He's a bit lazy, but he's a good father. You, as is proper for a wife and mother, want your family even better than it already is. My mother died just a month before her 60th anniversary, and she still was working on some of my Dad's faults, and was bugged by some of them. But, they were more in love after all those years, than they were as young newlyweds. Keep loving your husband, and perhaps in another 20-30 years, you'll manage to change him, so your Great Grandchildren will never hear him speak wrongly. But, even then, you'll still be bothered, because he won't be perfect. I hope you two will laugh about his ghetto language then.

enjoi

do3S hE tYP3 liikE THiis aS w3Ll?

P1 Rubber Ducky

sorry but kids are going to use SLANG it doesn't matter if they learn it from their father or friends

but i do understand your wanting your children to sound educated when they speak

tammy b

It is not unreasonable that you could pull your children aside and tell them to do as you say not as they hear daddy do. You could also explain to your husband that you are concerned. He will either agree or disagree.

Jennifer H

You married him and you can't change him...to pull your kids aside and say that to them is disrespecting him... IF THAT IS YA'LLs ONLY problem be thankful...there are much bigger things in this world to be worried about! Fight the good fights and leave the small stuff!

Logan

You should pull them to the side and explain the difference between the two. Do not single your husband out, but point out the difference twixt Ebonics, and English. You should then correct them whenever they veer from it, and tell them this. That Ebonics is for outdoors. When you hit the front door you will speak proper English. There is nothing wrong with Ebonics (not ghetto talk), but like most things it has it's time and place(Your husband could very well be on the phone with his friends/cronies, in which case that may be their way of communicating. As someone else said.. they are going to pick up SOME form of slang! Even so called educated people use slang, it just isn't Ebonics! Teach your children this and teach them to be able to speak in both "languages". If you don't they may very well pick one and adapt that as their only way of communicating. Then when they are displaced they will be lost. If you shield your children from things it only makes it worse because when they DO discover them on their own those things become the "new shiny toy"!!! No.. leave it out in the open and show them when, how and where to use it. As to your husband's laziness.... we only get away with what you allow us to get away with. You don't have to be nasty about it, but ask for help. Say "Honey.. can you do me a favor and do so n so"... Don't adopt the female way which says "you know it needs doing, so do it". It doesn't work.. trust me! Men are very much like dogs... Engage us and we will rise to the occasion gleefully! Leave us and we will lay in the corner til the food bowl is filled.

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