Please Help Me Out...Thoughts Of Suicide Because Of My Mom...Any Advice?

I'm 21 years old and I still live at home with my parents. Right now I'm being contracted out by a company called Child Action, Inc. here in California that pays me to watch my niece while my sister goes to school. It's a government program. I'm a child care provider.

Anyways my mom is the big problem. I've been involved in this whole Child Action thing since February 2009 and I have yet to get a paycheck. On top of that the pay is only $3.88 and that's the highest it can go until my sister can get more hours.

Back to my mom problem. My mom can't work. She is not a U.S. citizen and she has been in the works of being legalized since 2001, but nothing is moving forward. All the attorneys so far hit roadblocks and it's cost our family almost $15,000 so far.

I'm expected to get a lump sum payment from Child Action this month and it'll cover 3 months of service. My mom has taken on caring for my niece (who's 7 months old now) and she has deemed me too 'incompetent' to do the work, but I feel like she doing it just for the money.

Everyday she tells me how I need to find another job because this isn't for me. I'm called stupid, lazy, and all the names under the sun because my mom feels that watching my niece should be done by only her and she should collect all the money.

I feel like she's punishing me for her not being able to work and she tells me I need to go out and find a real job since I'm an American citizen. Keep in mind my name and social security number is tied into this whole Child Action business.

I am a high school graduate with college credits under my belt. I've had 3 different jobs and this one is my 4th one.

I'm at my wits end. I've already been medicated for severe depression under all the weight and stress of this situation. My mom and I constantly fight and argue about this and I bet it's going to get physical real soon. She won't let up.

My sister doesn't feel my mom is in the right mind to be sole caretaker since she's constantly talking about leaving and going to live with my brother in North Carolina. She feels like she's the victim in all this and constantly blames my dad for her citizenship status (they've been married 40 years).

What is my best option in all this? I'm planning on going back to school this fall and collecting student grants along with working as a nurse's assistant once I get my certificate, but I need out of here NOW.
Additional Details
THE PAY IS $3.88 AN HOUR

Nina

You and your sister are too old to let your mother control you like this. Encourage her to go and live in North Carolina if that is what she wants.

noggin

You sound as if you are severely screwed up!

Get out now and think of yourself for once.

As long as you are in the environment which you so vividly describe, you will never be able to further yourself or your ambitions.

Good luck and take care.

There is 'Life Cake' out there -and YOU are entitled to a slice!

Spindrift

Your mom is toxic to you, she is very selfish and a bad mom and you absolutely get away from her no matter what. She is NOT worth your life, and you need to find an alternative living arrangements, with a friend or another relative, anyone, but you must not be under the same roof with her, she is deranged. And you need to find another job, one that is not tied to your family.

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