Please advise and be nice?

break up..but dont regret it later.

Stay-on and talk to him about your priorities.

Random Precision

You need to work this out before you get married, or it will be a long term problem. One of you needs to change your mind now, and from then on support the other.

Bud B

I know of two marriages that failed because one wanted children and the other didn't. You need to so some serious talking with each other and perhaps a counselor. The pressure from friends and family can be ignored as they aren't the ones considering marriage. Do what is best for the two of you. Many couple enjoy a wonderful lifelong marriage with no children. Just make sure the two of you agree before tying the knot, or there may be another divorce added to the growing divorce rate.

Phartzalot

In my case, I told my husband "NO KIDS" before we got married and he was okay with it. With him on my side, family pressures didn't have nearly as much impact. If he weren't good with my decision, though, I would not have married him.

Jan Stolz

First of all, this is your life, not that of your friends or family. If they want children so bad, then they can have them.
In a private place, sit down with your boyfriend and talk things out just between the two of you. Could be, he's being pressured too.

Britiney M

talk to him

If you have been honest with him from day one about not wanting children and he is ok with it, then it is his responsibility to tell or after six years should have told everyone this. He has to put everyone in place as far as his family and friends.

SNKBYT

If you know you don't want kids and he thinks he might then you should not get married. That is a major road block in your relationship and will eventaully lead to divorce.

G.I.R

kids is often a reason why alot brake up because alot of people want kids but alot of people don't I would sudjust to cut it down and meet in the middle, how many kids does he want just one or 2 or does he want 4 or 5 or even some want 9 or 10 so sad. either he could just settle for a dog or a pet or you can settle to have just one kid or even adopt just one. just please don't brake up over a fear, trust me they have plenty of drugs and stuff you won't feel a thing. not pushing at anything but I feel its manly up to the woman since she is going to be the one that has to dill with it.

piepiepie

Hmm, his maybe, how big is it? Make sure he knows that there is no way in hell your uterus is a housing unit or a rental flat. Go get your tubes tied or ask him to get a vesectomy. He'll know how serious you are then. He might be thinking like our misogynstic society often does, that since you are a woman, you don't really know what you want and that you will change your mind because all woman want babies. I know that's crap. You know that's crap, but your future husband? Maybe he's a woman hater in sheeps clothing.

As for his friends and family, tell them you don't want children and refuse to have children and after that if they are rude enough to say something, you can tell them to **** off.

witchybitchywomaninalabama090907

You say you don't want kids but he maybe does. Before you get married, you really should have this question answered. don't marry if you think he maybe wants kids. know for sure before you walk the isle.

kay g

Don't give up so easily! If u really love him you'll try sorting this problem out.... If not,then go ahead...dump him.

Grand pa

settle this soon.. divorce hurts

just me #1

maybe you should both seek counseling before calling it quits. But i dont think you should just marry assuming the other person will change their mind as time goes by, you will be doing each other a great dis-service. The choice to have children is a hard one, not to be made lightly.

Chula

Whitney, first ask yourself if your soon to be Husband will be okay with your decision of not wanting any children. This has to be a two way thing or else you're going to have major problems later on. Pay no attention to what his friends or Family wants, it's really what both of you want as a whole.
You might have to let go if he does want to have children, it will hurt more if you stay in the relationship to be reminded later from him or his Family that he could've had children but you didn't want any. This is a difficult situation to be in, especially when you love someone dearly.
Hopefully, you both can come to an agreement for the sake of your love for each other where there will be no regrets. :)

ghostwalker077

well honest talk to him about it,, but i would not break up, just be cause you dont want kids, but maybe latter down the road you might, so go easy, an live to day , an dont worried about tomorrol

Girliegirl

Don't let his friends and family pressure you. The only opinion that counts is his. He really needs to examine what he wants and decide BEFORE you get married. If he wants kids and you don't then there's no way to make it work. He will resent not having any and if you give in and have one, you may resent the child and him. This is one of those things that you have to know before saying "I do." In the back of his mind he may be thinking you'll change your mind. You need to make it clear that you won't (if you are really sure), so that he knows that children will not be possible with you. Ignore everyone else. You aren't in a relationship with them.

kizandcorez

talk it through with him if he ok with not wanting kids ignore everybody else its YOUR life
if he does want some and you DEFF don't i can't see your relationship lasting for ever
BUT live for the moment !!!!!!!

Maureen B

You don't sound compatable if you don't have the same goals & dreams in life .If you get married it will be doomed because you won't be happy together..

Lydia

It's not fair to him to stay with him and marry him if he does want kids and you do not. You need to find someone who also does not want kids. However, you also have to ensure that you cannot accidentally get pregnant, then not want the child.

dÆ’

talk about it first

fatPig

Are you very, positively, absolutely and definitely sure about NOT wanting to have kids? That really is a huge challenge in a relationship, especially in a marriage. Marriage, to some, is not complete unless there is a family, which or course, means having parents AND kids.

Both of you should communicate about this before bringing the relationship to the next level or to a halt. Don't be too quick to go down the break-up path. You've got to ask yourself the reason why you don't want to have kids. Are you reproductively-challenged, or emotionally/mentally not ready? If it's not a biological thing, there may come a day that your maternal instincts may just kick in and having broken up with this boyfriend, you've got brace yourself NOT to live in regrets after that.

Do what you truly want for yourself but only after asking questions and communicating with your boyfriend.

You go, girl.

AuntTater

just tell them in a not-so-nice way....I will not be raising children, and if anyone asks me about it ever again i will stop talking to them altogether.

free_angel

If he does not agree with you on this, do not marry him. If he does agree, you and him both need to set the family and friends straight.

applecheeks

You have to make sure he KNOWS you don't want children. It has to be clear. If he DEFINITELY wants to have children, then you want different things and you should break up and find someone with the same life goals.

spun_down

don know
sounds like a huge blow up later on
better stick with fresh new batteries

huckleberry1

It's perfectly normal to want to get married and not have kids, however, if your to be husband wants them then I am going to go out on a limb and say don't get married. This is a BIGGIE. It's one of those deals that will come back to visit you every Christmas, Easter, etc etc. It will not seem like a big issue the first 2-3 years but as your marriage grows it will become a major source of tension and unhappiness and you will not be able to run away from it. So no, save him and yourself the grief and don't do it.

islandgirl06

No love, you don't do such thing,because it's not his friends nor his family that you will marry. People will say what they want to say, but it's up to you to decide, as long as your fiancee knows what you feel and think, nothing matters. Who knows maybe one of this years you may want one, I felt the way you do now but look at me I am a mother of 3 which I will not trade anything on this world.......just follow your heart and don't let no one run your life,..it's not theirs to run...

Learn2bstill

You need to ask yourself and him the following two questions and honestly answer them.

--Are you willing to change your perspective?
--Is he willing to live without children?

There can only be four solutions:

1. You and he answer "yes"
2. You answer "yes" and he answers "no"
3. You answer "no and he answers "yes"
4. You both answer "no"

If you come to #4 then you may as well end the relationship. If you have #1,2,or 3 then you may have something to work with and can continue the relationship.

DEAL WITH THIS BEFORE YOU MARRY AND IN ALL HONESTY MAKE WHATEVER DECISION YOU NEED TO BEFORE YOU ARE MARRIED--WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE FREEDOM TO LEAVE WITHOUT THINGS BECOMING TOO MESSY.

Good luck!

onychopagist

Tell him you don't want kids now. Ask him how he feels tell him to be honest. Maybe you'll want kids later. When I met my husband I didn't what children either, he wanted alot. Tell your family (nicely) to but out.

Good luck :)

Just Me

This is a fundamental difference in your life goals. How can you possibly not see that this means you are in a doomed relationship?

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