Please help!!!!!!?

voxwoman

I don't think he was wrong, exactly, but all of this could have been handled a lot better by both him and his new wife. It's too bad that he and her are unwilling to go to counselling and try to get the blended family to work out.

Stepfamilies only work if both the husband and wife back each other up with the children (even the adult children). It sounds like there were a lot of conversations that he and his wife needed to have that just didn't happen.

Your friend's first mistake was trying to discipline his stepdaughter without first creating "rules of engagement" with his new wife. And also, there should have been very specific rules about kids having people over, and these should have been worked out BEFORE the daughter moved in with her mom bringing her 2 sons with her.

However, if the daughter is thinking this is her home, too, then she should be allowed to have kids over (I'm guessing they are friends of her boys?).

Steve R

they need marriage counseling..........or he needs a divorce

Joy

No and he knows deep down he was not wrong or he would have done something diffrent

William Wallace

Some people know when something is going to work and some don't. He sounds like a no crap kind of guy, I don't think it is wrong in some cases, he could have tried again once they agreed that he should have been informed of other people coming over.

tasgilla

Not at all wrong for him to put his foot down.

Sven B

Oh brother! He was only wrong for not kicking the daughter, wife, kids EVERYONE out of the house and changing the locks! He should just get away from all that BS and stay single! The wife is a biach and so is her daughter! They need to learn to have some respect! I'm proud of him for at least getting himself outa there!

Lovely

Okay, if they are married it's not his kid anymore, it's their kids, and if they disagree just on one parenting strategy then no they shouldn't be married. I mean their kids are going to be half of their lives, and if they can't agree on that, then they shouldn't be married. Oh, and the dad was right, she shouldn't bring her friends over without asking anyone.

happymommy

no, but holy cow! They just got married! If something as little as this is enough cause for divorce, they should not have been married! Marriage takes work, especially marriages of blended families. I think they should see a counselor or something. Sounds like something that can be talked over and fixed.

illustrat_ed_designs

Absolutely not, although it sounds as though there were a few problems to begin with and that this just touched things off.

todayillsee

I don't think he is wrong at all. If the daughter is not going to respect him and the mother backs the daughter instead of him, then the marriage would have never lasted in the first place. No matter how hard it might be, when you marry someone he/she is the one who you are suppose to stand behind and support no matter what. Your children might get mad at you but they never stay mad long.

Kemo

He was. That is something one can work out. He must remember if the wife had taken his side she would lose her daughter's trust forever. And from what you say the daughter seems to be a rebellious teenager. He should have tried to get his wife to directly confront the situation with it being her to confornt child not his. Cause face it, he ain't the girls father and she is probably pissed he is married to her mom instead of him. And her bringing up his kids was just below the belt arguement a thing that can be worked on. I think he should stay and fight for the marriage surely it can't be tha bad or you have left out much more about this story

Pimp_Slapper

You dont mess with a mans kids.....he will be better off without her

hellsqueen05

nope, she sounds like a ***** not to be stuck with

lil miss lonely

yep

B D

He is very right. The wife is trying to stick up for her daughter which is like a mother taking care of her cub.
But she needs to do this only if the daugher is being wrongly accused. But it sounds like the daughter is in the wrong here big time. Maybe mom let her walk all over her when she lived at home before.

angel eyes

Wrong about divorcing her or wrong about letting her take nearly everything? He should do what he is comfortable with...many times, cutting your losses and getting away with your sanity is best.

800 bound

NO WAY!!! The BI#$@ should teach her daughter to respect grown ups PERIOD............

wolf

he should leave and take all his stuff with him, leaving her nothing.

THE GARBAGE MAN

he should ***** slap her and take back all the stuff

mini_stef26

Well, if that fight is the only reason for the divorce...i think it's a little exagerated...i think they could have talk about it and make compromising

Snow

Yeah, because it was just one problem.

justme_tictac

He has every right to that, and then some.... How could the wife defend her daughter spoiling his charity like that?

Looking4Help727

Better sooner than later. Im pretty sure he was just being used to get a home for them anyways.

mandrake

He was wrong when he did not discuss the daughter's living at his house before he got married. Apart from love and romance marriage is a contractual deal with certain provisions to be fulfilled before tying the knot. Anyway, the dye is cast and the best thing he could do is get his clothes, t.v and pix and get the hell out to start a new life.

AnAlbatross

they shouldnt've blown it out of proportion in the first place....if he really wants to leave then maybe they werent ment for eachother...sometimes its better that way...or you know what, kick out the daughter! tell her, GO GET A JOB YA BUM!

lily

What did he expect? That everything would be like heaven? This is what you get when you try to set up a household when there are "her kids" and "his kids". These issues should have been talked over before. I would love to know why he is running to you to cry on your shoulder.

Matty

Your facts are slanted (biased).
No one will say that he is wrong from reading this.
Why do you care what other people think ?
You have your own mind.

trouble

thats hard question but if you love some one you do every thing as one and that is the number one rule when you are married to someone

miss_nursie_nurse

I think if they are getting a divorce after one fight then they probably don't belong together anyway.

Blended families are a tragedy in the making most times...

No, he wasnt wrong. And the wife was wrong in taking her daughters side... (He wouldnt have said anytihng if his daughter was doing something that was not appropriate, I will bet!).

And to bring "his" kids into play, was a huge screw up by the wife... THEY ARE BOTH OF THIERS NOW...not his and hers!!

Thats what "blended means", both kids belong to both parents... and if there is division between them, then they will fail every time.

I think blended families should have counceling before they all "go together" in this venture...

That way, things can be worked out first, what is expected, and rules laid down...

I wish you well..

Jesse

Christina

when you get married its you and your spouse against the world, even if you have kids from a previous marriage.so she should have sided with her new hubby not her kids.i know your kids are suppose to be everything to you but you have to respect your hubby and his decisions, you have to make sure your the rules are set when your kids move in, thing change when a new person is moves in abut she should have let her daughrter know that look it is going to be this way and thats it, you ahve to listen to my new hubby and thats it, she shouldnt have taken her side.that was really wrong of her, i am glad he is moving out and moving on, if you cant be on the same side, what makes you thin they will be on the same side later on when they really need each other.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: