Please help me take a decision about this girl?

There is this girl who likes me but hasn't told me about her feelings. Sooner or later she will. I am not sure whether I really want to have her as a life partner. She is friendly, helpful, caring and educated. She works where I work and we know each other for a year or so. Sometimes she conveys her feelings to me using some gestures, expressions but it is still not clear. Of late she is looking a little frustrated. She probably wants me to take an initiative and tell her that I like her but I am not in a position to do so. Eventhough I like her, I do not love her. I don't think I want more of her than just a friend.

She is a decent girl. I do not want that she should have a bad name because of me. I am not really prepared right now to marry, I still have to make my career. Also, I don't want to hurt her. But I must let her know the truth if she ever asks me.

How should I tell her to be just friends and not hurt her? Is it possible?

darius p

Money, Work, Career etc comes & goes (even people, for that matter) But only a selected few -The right type ones- comes your way once in a while and you should be matured enough to pick the right one.

As they say never marry a person whom you love but never let go of the person who loves you

Good Luck

Jane Marple

You're way ahead of yourself here. She likes you and you're already thinking you're not ready to get married and you're not in love with her. OF course you're not in love, you haven't got to know her yet!

You want to get to know her or not? forget about being in-love or marriage...that comes after! you're not there yet.

pixie

If she likes you she should take the initiative to tell you, it is not your responsibility to do anything.

Happy-2

This is really bizarre, because you seem to equate someone telling you she likes you to getting married. You've apparently spoken with her very little, so why in the world would you love her? Why do you think that if she asks you to date her that means you have to tell her you don't want to marry her? Dude, you are totally clueless about the purpose of dating!

David

Try to hook her up with one of your friends or someone else. Nobody who is interested in dating someone would do that so it would send the clear message and maybe set up a good relationship. She could stay your friend while dating your friend.

WhiteChocolate

Suggest that perhaps the 2 of you go have a coke or a cup of coffee as friends. If she doesn't get the message, tell her while you are out that you enjoy her friendship and that you think friends are importnant when we are all struggling to make a great career for ourselves.

Been There2

I was in a similar situation recently. This guy really liked me and I WANTED to like him as much as he liked me, but my heart wasn't in it.
So I finally told him that I keep trying to like him as more than friends since he was so nice to me, but my heart simply was not in it. He thanked me for my honesty and I haven't heard from him since.

I really think it's better that way. He can move on with his life and I don't feel heavy with guilt for not liking him in that way.

You have to let her know that you've considered her as a possible gf, but really, your heart won't move past 'friend'. Remind her that she's a nice girl and let her go. She will be able to move on better if she knows for sure that nothing is happening with you.

life goes on

You should back off and just date for a while for your sake and hers to.

Primus

This situation can end in two ways. Either she never explicitly tells you her feelings and so you don't have to let her down OR she does announce her feelings towards you. If the latter situation holds true and you still don't feel the same way, you just have to let her down gently by saying, "Look, I think you're a great person but I only like you as a friend." When it comes to thorny issues like this, there's no easy solution and so you just have to be considerate.

BETHDAFAIRY

Why would you be expected to marry her if you havent even let her know you like her in a romantic way yet? Tell her yourself, it is better than her wondering about you every night and day. Just say " I am not in a position to where I want to be in a relationship. So I think we should just be friends. I think you are a great looking person, & fun to hang with. But as friends." She won't like it but thats the nicest way to say anything.

iwanturpussinmyface

better talk to her and ask here what she feeld is happening here

KARAN

Talk straight and simple , respecting privacy and space.

unsung hero

Don't say anything unless she asks you out. You could be misreading her kind gestures. Sometimes people are just overly friendly.

If she does ask, tell her you don't date colleagues, simple as that.

Smile

My dear, if you do not like her , you must convey it to her, before she gets mad about you. I think she too thinks you love her.
Tell her indirectly, may be like, I have lot of dreams , I have lot of responsibilities, I am really worried about my future. etc.
Or - just ask her about her dreams or tell her your dreams and tell , till I am so and so age, I will never wish to marry
Or - I dont know why guys get married so soon, Should be atleast 34(age) to take any responsibility. etc.. hope u got my point.

She will understand you are not interested in her. But do not delay my dear, as I think she is already fallen for you.
Good Luck.

christina c

whether you say something or not she will wind up hurt. it is better to say something now rather than let this continue. so, man-up and tell her that right now your priorities are your career and where it is going and that you would like to be her friend. that is all that you have to offer her and that you are sorry if you are causing her any pain.

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