 
|
mom of 5 in CA
 |
There is a deeper reason, and it isn't about toys. Women buy things because the experience is filling them emotionally. She may be really excited about being a mom, or compensating for some loss or emptiness. You need to talk to her about the toys in a really non-negative, non-accusing way. Ask her to share her feelings, not to defend herself, but to help you (and her) really understand what she is looking for through toys.
Your wife has learned this from her mother, obviously. So there is a family response to problems that probably involves buying things. You may not be able to deal with this directly, since your wife has her mom's support and you don' t want be the one on the outside. You want to be beside your wife, supporting her and filling her emotional needs in other ways. Maybe then, once she feels really understood and supported, she will feel more open to discussing the "toy pit."
In the meantime, suggest that she spend some money on storage, like clear boxes, so that she can rotate and store the toys. Kids (and women) do like to have new things, so it you rotate some things into hiding, they will feel new again in a few months.
Also, kids grow, so they do need new toys. Suggest buying toys that you can add on to, like legos or K'Nex, and see if she is willing to pass on some toys they no longer use.
But do these things only after you establish yourself as supportive partner. |
|
abc
 |
put half of the toys away; out of the half that are left - give half of those away; then rotate the toys.....kids don't need nor do they appreciate all that stuff;
if a new toy comes into the house, one toy should leave the house...... |
|
Jacsea
 |
have a word with yourself jack....kids are kids...want a single life? get out.............. |
|
bbinqueens33
 |
this has to stop those kids are if they are not already going to be spoiled rotten. too many toys and kids get bored with what they have and take it for granted. your house needs order. buy bins to put the toys in and make a rule all toys that are not picked up off the floor and put away by such and such time will be thrown in the trash and follow through |
|
Voice of Innovation
|
doesn't sound like it's your fault. Wow, I only had 1 box full of toys and when my friends came over they would ask where all my toys were and I said this is it, lol. |
|
fool4love
|
little by little put some in the car boot, then when you go out on your own drop them off at the charity shop. if you are careful no one will notice, (but take note of your kids favourite ones) |
|
Girliegirl
|
It's not you. We used to have the same problem. Some people thought we spoiled our kids with all the toys they had. The only problem was WE didn't buy them. EVERYONE else did. I finally got to the point of telling people to stop. I would go through them ever few months and I would get rid of a trash bag full every time and you know what? The kids never knew I took anything. Toys are good, but it gets to the point that they get so many, they get overwhelmed and they forget what they have and they usually only play with a few favorites anyway. It's been my experience the the more expensive the toy is, the less likely they are to play with it. You wife and mother in law need to get a grip on reality. Are all these toys necessary? I would tell them to clear some out and donate them to a needy children's organization for kids that don't get many toys. It's perfectly reasonable to have one area set aside for toys and to make them put them back in their place when they are done playing with them. There's no reason you should be living in a toy box. |
|
fdj1
 |
No I have seen it in my sisters house, hang in there my man
it seems to be an obsession to metake it from there
i dont think its the kids they would be happy with a pencil and paper, but you know the drill " mom is boss"
select your battles |
|
ohiofirefighter42
|
No you dont have the problem...its your home too and you have a right to share some of the space....put most of the toyus up...when they get tired of whats left, then substitute another. |
|
?
|
We have the same problem...we have one child and a two-bedroom apartment, and those toys somehow migrate everywhere.
One thing you can do--figure out which toys your children don't play with or aren't interested in anymore and give them away or sell them.
You need to tell your wife that it's getting out of hand. You're tired of tripping on toys and you feel like you're wading through a toy jungle!
My mother loves buying my son things, and I tell her that clothes would be nice since he has too many toys, and she's okay with that. |
|
░♥░
|
maybe you should take all the extra unnecessary toys, put them in a big garbage bag, and donate it to somebody. You can also get some wasted money bacj by selling it on aBay, believe it or not people buy all sourts of crazy things on eBAy! Or just talk to your wife seriously about how its bothering you. |
|
Mrs.know.It.All
 |
I was a pre-school teacher & a nanny for 5 years. Now, I have a 2 yr. old daughter. I find that kids actully play better when they have less toys to choose from. They get overwhelmed easily. I would suggest oraganizing the toys in one room, closet, or garage. And, letting your wife change them out weekly. This way the kids still have "new" toys every week. And, it's less clutter for you. |
|
mekaylahall
|
no its not u! your wife should be around more! Teach your kids to pick up after themselves. Then there won't be that much of a mess. Time to do some spring cleaning |
|
Gizmo
 |
Nope mines the same but worse so with clothes than toys. I have two children and the same type house and there are stacks of clothes and toys everywhere. It does my box in. They must have over 50 outfits each and god knows how many touys. Thing is the girls don't appreciate all the toys they get more fun with an empty box. I have a dining room that i'm scared to enter that has know table but does have wardrobes. I have started chucking the stuff filling bags and sneaking them down to charity shop. There's that much i swear she doesn't notice. I don't think women can see it, there brains work different. |
|
open_wings_closed_arms
|
Sit down and talk to her say you don't have to get rid off all of them but could we organize them not only for the space, but so they will be easy to find, suggest that they might be better off if broken or toys barley used anymore would go to charity of to friends who would use them. |
|
gypsy
|
I don't think your children should be bought so many toys, I think this stops them developing to their full potential, if they have to make their own toys, theu develop far better as their brains are being stretched. With regard to toys lying around I don't really find that too much of a problem, however if you do why don't you devise a game which incorporates them putting their toys away - kids can be easily fooled and they like to please, especially if you are part of the game. It does seem as if your wife and mother-in-law are shopaholics, they should consider spending their time playing with the children, painting & drawing with them, cooking together, reading stories, etc, their time would certainly be spent in a more valuable way. Being a mother/father is not about buying toys, the best and most rewarding thing you can give your child is your time. |
|
bri
|
kids will be kids and they will have toys.
Insist your bedroom stays clear of them and that all the toys in the living room are put away by 7pm so you can have your evenings in a clutterfree zone.
Otherwise you just have to live with it till the kids grow up and leave home. |
|
Afi
|
I know how you feel. Bear with it...the children soon grow up. |
|
carolann
|
Suggest they rationalise - give the too young ones to the local playgroup, and find a place in the garage and rotate the favourites they miss them and are glad to see them again when you swap them around.
Suggest to Grandparents that they buy a toybox.. |
|
doggy dog
 |
i have 4 kids in a 4 bed house, there has to be a limit we say no toys down stairs, .......ps she's kicking me out in 2 weeks |
|
scarlet o'hara
|
Sorry but i have the same problem with my house....and i get moaned also. Although i just go overboard xmas and birthdays. There is so much great things out there you know but i can understand your point also! |
|
dd
|
i agree with you kids have too much toys why do nt you clear some of them out when they not around and give them to a children charity for kids who do nt have toys which is sad chances are the kids wo nt notice as they so much i ve seen my friend in the same boat she waited until the kids were at school and got rid of some of the toys they did nt use they never noticed and you try and talk to ur wife about this as she seems to be spoiling them too much or am i wrong sorry if i am and mother in law s always agre with their daughter s. good look sounds as if u ahve ur toy shop ha ha |
|
E-Male
|
no it's not you, they probably end up in the garbage or yard sale after a while also. your wife must be bored and shopping is her social life, she feels guilt when she buys stuff for herself but justifies spending money " for the kids". my old next door neighbor had the same problem , she never worked and spent every dime her husband made on toys and junk, they ended up losing their house because she was out of control. they rent now, drive an old vehicle and wear rags, but the kids still have toys and cell phones. your wife needs a job as a buyer for a company where she can spend other peoples money for gratification. |
|
jasmine
|
kids are kids they will grow up soon,so need for so much toys.. |
|
crsabt2004
|
suggest a yard sale or be generous-donate to a local organization that takes toys in to recycle to needy children |
|
Kitty ♥
|
Talk to your children about what toys they want, and do not want. The toys that they do not want out them in bags and donate them to a Salvationm army or Goodwill store. Or take the toys they do not want to your City Hall, they will probably have a Toys for Tots there. For the toys that your chldren do want, make one of those 4 bedrooms a toy room, where you store all the toys. but make it neat so when you open the door you will not trip! best of luck from me to you! :) |
|
Austin Powers
|
lots of toys for a big baby; go clean it up |
|
suzimizzi
|
your kids are happy?? how long will they be young??? not forever!! what will they remember??? a very happy childhood!! get over it. they will soon flee the nest and they will be the ones to look afer you so enjoy because it will all pass in the blink of an eye. |
|
Skating Nun
|
I dont think it is you, i think that children should have boundaries. Why not make a clearly defined area ( Like Their Bedroom!) where they can have all of their toys. As for them getting new toys everyday, kids get bored easily and the lazy solution is to buy something new, why not encourage them to donate old toys to a kids charity and then get them involved in some form of arts and crafts; this will get them to use their imagination lots more. Good luck. |
|
ejohnson30034
|
Remold one of your room ad shelves for your kids toys remove the beds put play houses and little cars in your kids room and if your are a artiest you could draw make believe trees on their walls and your celling use a sponge to make clouds use white paint section the little house and put a basketball , court, microwave blender wash and dryer make your kids play room look like a fantasy room and if you have en ought money at a little kid side train in the backyard |
|
womble
|
i had a mass clear out of my daughter's room when she was at school any thing that had'nt seen the light of day or been played with for 6 months or more went to the charity shop.
As for the wife and mother in law. try and explain that the kids could turn in to spoilt brats and you dont want that for your kids.( i've a friends daughter who's spoilt brat and no one wants to play with her and she's having probs at schoool) if they want to buy them toys then birthday easter xmas is fine or a reward for good behavior achivement etc once a month. that way the kids will have something to look forward to. or you could give them pocket money if they do their jobs ie tidy their bedroom and let them buy their own |
|
|
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
