Question bout marriage issue-Family?

â™« Mad Luv â™«

wow he don't want to be involved in the family!
do you have family game night?
start having fun around him with out him .. laugh and giggle and enjoy the time together! no matter how tired you are!
I'm sure your man is very tired those are some long hours! 11 hour days of nothing but work ... i can see why he don't want to take part in a lot of activities!
but he should do something... he is a dad right! i can see it not being an active role!
does he go out with the guys?
You are not doing anything wrong by what you typed! maybe more communcation on both your parts! express to him how his kids want to hang out with daddy and if he is going to ever do that!
because right now they don't have a dad and they want one!

instead you have to hear that!
have your kids ask daddy when daddy is going to spend time with us!

tell him he is allow to have more then 1 role in life and yes being a profider is great but being a father is better!

goodness this must be hard for you!
well i hope i helped and if you ever need to jsut talk and let things out mail me or something... you make it through this!
just keep talking!

basically my husband works the same hours as yours does. that includes the hour plus commute. i get it that they are tired. can he take public transportation to work and sleep on the way? my h. also tends to his 88 year old father. He is great with the dog and helps if I ask around the house. He cuts the grass and deals with the cars, does bills, taxes, etc. Ihe has a real high energy level. I would keep taking to him if I were you. Maybe make up a chart of tasks and assign each a difficulty level and see who ios doing more. tell him you NEED help. good luck

Aimes

Instead of nagging him try complimenting him. "Honey, thank you so much for working so hard to provide for us." Honey, thank you for coming home eat 5 today,me and the kids love when we get to spend time with you." Honey, thank you for taking the garbage out, I know you're a busy man."

It may sound silly, but if you compliment him on the stuff he does RIGHT (even if it's little stuff) you may be surprised at what else he'll start doing.

Alicia

I would sit down with him and say that you want to be able to spend more time together as a family and you want to lighten his financial burden. The kids miss him and you miss him. Tell him that you are willing to get a part-time job to help. He will get more time at home and you will get time away from home.

He might feel like you don't appreciate what he does either. Sometime in the next couple days, make his favorite meal. Make a deal with the kids that they have to pamper daddy when he gets home. Get his paper, sit quietly while he watches his favorite show, whatever makes him feel good. If you start appreciating the fact that he is providing for the family so that you can stay home and nurture your children, maybe he'll be nicer.

If neither of these attempts work, seek a marriage counselor for more advice.

It's very easy to get in a place where you just resent one another. It's a vicious circle and it will make you both extremely miserable.

Twlight Zone2

Life is too short not to have fun-- find a Adult Children groups or better yet a 12 step group--these are great as you will see. You will enjoy-just listen if you want to--look forward to a full life not a 1/2 one

jerseygal

Well let's be grateful that he has a job in this economy. Then you need to think about the countless women, who have men in their lives that don't contribute financially to the household. Or the many women who would love to stay at home with their children, while the man brings home the type of income that would allow this. Then you need to look at the hours that he is working...I would say that he is tired, maybe very tired and you nagging him is only going to make things worse. Try taking it one day at a time, maybe work on planning one family day or evening a week, that might be a start.

Longbrownhair

The weekdays are stressful and you can't ask more of your husband if he's working VERY long hours on the weekday.

Why not do a family day on Sunday, where you all do something together, have a special dinner and have a game night?

My family is VERY busy, but on the weekends we do make time for each other. BTW - My husband works full time and I work part-time, we both take care of the kids equally, and he has a few house work chores, while I take more. It's fair and works well. Your set up may not be fair, so why not sit down with your husband and politely let him know you're doing to much and would like help in the following areas and list maybe two things around the house he could help with.

Renzo ~N~ Brook

wow i feel ya girl. this is something i wish we had lot of time and space to dig over but anyhow... bottom line is people only do to us that which we permit. seems to me you doing it all on your own now, aside from financial contributions from hubby. I've been through that with X. you have several choices: go on strike: 1)everyone eats cold cereal for every meal until you get some help. 2) demand he assist with household duties 3) pack your stuff to help him hear you better 4) pack his stuff and tell him to try it on his own. ( so what if he leaves, a sorry man will only teach his kids to be sorry so he'd be doing you a favor ) I know you probally thinking my answer is a bit drastic, but it's your health and sanity on the line. When that man leaves or cheats because you've become emotional baggage with a capital PRADA and he has a new baby with a 19 yr old married girl from work < and he is in his 30's, you'll wish you had taken control. Oh wait that was my sorry " i have a job who cares that wifey works and everything else" hubby. good luck....pray hard

anu sahni!!

sweetheart bring it into action.. he is loosing his interest of all the things do not count the number of jobs you do n he does take it as a lovely responsibility.. believe me instead of talking to him abt it give him a warm welcome home,, a wonderful night as u used to whenever there's a day off or when he is free do his favorite things before making him do what u like. hug him when he is tired make him feel relieved. try helping him with work if u can.. try n be a bit supportive in his work to make him realize how good have u been n to be enable him to make an effort to do the same..
besties...!!

desperate housewife

Sweetie, you have a full time job yourself being a stay at home mom. A working spouse just doesn't understand what all it takes to be a stay at home mom; unless they walk a day or two in your shoes. I'd just left last week for vacation and left my husband home to tend to the dogs and care for himself and he called mid week and said, I'd forgotten just how much you do around the house and how much you do for me. Maybe you should take off with family or friends for a couple of days and have your husband to be the stay at home dad and remind him of just how much you do and maybe he will realize then of how much extra need help you need. And I can imagine the extra needed help you need having to care for three kids. My prayers are with you. Pray and believe in God and He will help you.

iluvmyman

This should have been an issue discussed before the marriage actually was consummated. Now you have expectations of him that he doesn't agree with and he has expectations that you don't agree with.He needs to be a man and respect you and listen to your plea. A stay at home Mom does more than most people in a day. I have been there myself and I know its hard. They need to have a switch jobs day for men like this so he can see how hard you work and how stressed you are. Then you could see what all he does all day too lol. The best thing you can do is talk to him hon. If he doesn't respect you enough to listen to you I am not sure what to do.

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