Question for those who have lived w/a bf/gf before?

icomeblood

If he owns his home...not much. I'd make you pay the cable bill...and maybe the electric if you've been bad

*. Bre Babe .*

I live with my b/f and I asked him the same question, how will the bills work. Since I worked a hourish away he said he will pay the rent so its one less thing to worry about, which was quite nice of him :) Just ask him and tell him your situation and see how you can compromise between the two of you.

Midnight & Scott

it all depends on the guys point of view. you need to talk to him and see what he wants you to put out. but if your not thinking like that then i would pay half that is again if he wants you to and if he lets you. some guys wont some guys will let you pay for the finances its up to you two you need to sit and talk about it

windmill ever

You should pay a percentage of what you make. Paying half may not be fair because he may make way more money than you. Tell him that you can only afford to pay what your paying now. He loves you and Im sure he will work something out that is fair for the both of you. Just make sure you really love him and its serious. You dont want your child getting hurt in this situation.

tersey562

This is definitely an area you two need to discuss not Yahoo Answers. Some people split the bills 50/50 or 75/25, other do it so that the guy pays the mortgage and utilities bills, while you may pay the food bills and other extras related to you and your children. You and your boyfriend need to discuss this long before you give notice on your apartment, and if you can't talk to him about this small issue then you certainly shouldn't be moving in with him. Good luck and God Bless.

sheloves_dablues

Why are you asking us?

Talk to him!

BRrrr Why Am I Soo Cold???

Typically split down the middle is standard but before making the move, tell him what you can afford, logically. If it isn't half, be honest about what it is you can comfortably pay and still care for your child.
If he wants you to live with him its probably because he really likes you(or he wants your money but if your not rich, that's not it, lol). So, Im guessing he wants you there and isn't too concerned about what you can chip in and Im guessing he understands your financial situation already.

I want to add, just b sure this is right for your kid,too. I know if your a decent mom, this already ran through your mind, so, I wont continue on with that.

If you cant afford even a quarter of the mortgage, perhaps paying for the groceries or a utility bill or two.

ADD:: In reference to how it works out, that varies from couple to
couple. I believe in cohabitating before marriage. In fact, I believe its the smart thing to do to. For the couples who dont survive it, the relationship wouldnt have survived anyway.

Pet

it depends on what he thinks, really. actually more like what you two agree on. this will be good insight into the kind of relationship you two are building, having this discussion. when i moved in with my boyfriend (we were 19 & 20, now married) he continued paying all of the bills and i bought groceries, cooked and cleaned. that was ok with him, and i didn't mind. if we ate out, i paid for it. i put gas in both our cars and whatnot and picked up little expenditures along the way. whatever is fair for both of you. good luck! :)

Jenn <Double N>

My bf makes more than I do so we usually just pool our money into one account and pay what needs to be paid...anything left over is OUR money. Seems to work better for us this way so there is no keeping score of who pays what, we just pay all the bills from one account and share whats left.

munkeroos

That's definitely something you need to discuss with him. It totally depends on his money situation and if he's living alone right now, or has help.

When my guy moved in to my house - I kept paying all of the house bills. My previous roommates had paid the phone bill, so he took over that. They'd also taken care of the cable/satellite, so when we switched it into our names, he took over that bill, too. We switch on groceries, as well as other essentials for the house. Our hot water tank blew up, he paid for it.

Living with a boyfriend is different than living with roommates. It's a team work effort more than a "This is mine - that is yours" and things tend to be more meshed together. He might ask you to just pay the increase on his bills like water, phone and electricity. He might ask for half, or what you pay now - or he might not expect you to take over anything, and instead buy the groceries and house stuff instead.

It can be done so many ways. You can each put into a joint account each month as much as you're able and pay the bills from there - you can pay bills separately. You can take turns. So you really should discuss it with him and come to an agreement together that you both think is fair.

sparkwing_dimond

You need to sit down and talk finances. A lot of couples make the mistake of not talking finances before moving in together and then someone feels ripped off.

Gary B

There is a really good indicator of how well a marriage is going to work out:
People who live together for more than 6 months before marriage have a 50% GREATER chance of getting divorced than those who stay separted until just before the marriage.

You need to stay right where you are, until the marriage date is set. You can arrange the wedding date to coincide with your apartment lease , or you can explain to the apartment that you are getting marrired, and that that is sufficient reason to break a lease without penalty.

Another sign of impending failure of the marriage is Keeping Score. In this case you are far more concerned about who pays what percent of what. You will find that you two end up arguing about little things, fractions of percents. "You only paid 46% of the electric bill last month!!", "yea, but you only paid 44% of the rent, so you still owe me . . . " THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN.

What happens next: "You only did the dishes three times lastweek, and I did four AND the party plates..." "We only made love four times last week. What is YOUR problem?"

ANOTHER INDICATOR is step children --which you son will be. I can tell you right now, no matter HOW good and kind this man is, he cannot possibly love your son as much as you do. There ARE going to be arguments, expecially over discipline. And this assumes that you have a good kid. if your kid is acting out because of problems with his own father, things are magnified 10-fold. if the boyfriend has never had kids, make it 20-fold

All in all, things look REAL IFFY HERE. You need to STOP right now and take a LONG hard look at where this relationship is going. Again, I recommend that you DO NOT move in until six months or less before the wedding.

in the mean time, SEEK MARITAL COUNSELING. Work out this "scoring issues" and potential parenting problems.

by the way, 80% of live-in arrangemetn break up at some time. When the live-in couple gets married 75% of the marriages end in divorce in less than 5 years.

SEEK COUNSELING. BE PREPARED.

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