Racist Comment - how would you have handled this? Do you have a similar story you can share? I felt hurt?

Jimmy J

It was an ignorant comment.

Marina

Chalk it up to ignorance and let it roll off your back. I would of asked the guy if he had a degree in that field of study. What an idiot!

dogdogcrazy

How I would have handled it..."Really, that's interesting. I know quite a few black men, and some them actually do like coffee. Where did you do your research?"

Stupid people bore me. However, they don't offend me. I am wondering why you found his ignorance offensive.

Sandy Ego

He sounds ignorant, but I don't think he meant something bad by saying it; it's just he didn't have enough social graces to know that such an observation should be kept to oneself. Try not to let it bother you too much. I'm from Russia, and I can't tell you how many times I've heard comments about drinking vodka or being a commie; if I let every such comment offend me, I'd have a heart attack by now. Let it go.

And yes, I do drink vodka. lol

Quasimodo

I have a 91 year old father-in-law. Not stupid by any stretch of the imagination. Well read and up on current events. He resided in the south where my moronic sister-in-law and her equally moronic husband would refer to blacks as...well...you can guess.

So...for months he would see Obama, Vanessa Williams, Oprah...name any black male or female in a high profile spot and refer to them as 'you know what'. My wife repeatedly told him to cease using this vulgarity and it seems that to piss her off he'd make it a point to do so every chance he got.

That is until two months ago.

He came into the kitchen and in front of my mother, my aunt and my uncle he said to my wife he needed to shower because he smelled like...yeah...you guesssed it. You could hear a pin drop. So...turning slowly towrds him I just said "You know...only ignorant, ill bred and uneducated people use that derrogartory term and I'm really sorry because all this time I never even considered you one. I feel sorry for gutter trash like you".

He wandered off without a word and came back into the room
twenty minutes later and said "I'm terribly sorry to everyone for using such language. I know better and was not raised like that. I have no excuse for my conduct". I just said "This is not something we use or say here and I accept your apology under the condition I never hear this again in my house". Haven't since.

And by the way...the one and only time I had ever heard him make this remark before was while we were in a restaurant and he pointed out a black couple several tables over and made the off color remark. He was hustled out to the car by my wife with our food left on the table. I dreaded speaking to the couple but did so aplogizing profusely. The fellow said "It's okay...he's an old man and although its no excuse its his old upbringing. My father is no different when it comes to white people".

As far as your old classmate goes.....he must have been asleep during cultural diversity class in high school.

Face it....racisim will always be there. Its a curse of the human race.

lmbnsa

Your husband is black Yes, is that what you mean? If so I would have looked at him and said " if you believe everything they say about black men you should be feeling pretty SMALL sitting over there"

If it was the other way around and he was black and insinuating that you didn't serve him because he was black, I would have said something along the lines of "I only take care of my husband if you want coffee then ask your own wife"

MATTHEW B

it a stupid comment and maybe it was ment as a joke the first time it was said (me and my colored co-workers mess with each other all the time like this) but to keep repeating it was stupid to say the least

Automation Wizard

Now you have me wondering if I've ever seen a black man drink coffee. I don't recall any of my black roommates or black co-workers drinking coffee. I think I've seen black actors drink it in movies or on television, but that's not much of an indication of reality.

There are things people say that are worth getting upset over. This simply isn't one of them unless you or your husband make a paycheck selling coffee. Don't live your life looking to be offended by someones curiosity about differences between the likes and dislikes of people from different places.

crank.the.radio

i would have just brushed it off, there are people like this who are just plain dumb and have verbal diareaha.

mike_beccs

dont let it bother you
ther are stupid people in this world who have no sence
u just have to ignore them and be a better person then them
i still get it alot to this day which is horrible
but some people never change

littleraeraefool

I think that was more rude than racist. It's probably just a silly thing he heard a long time ago. Like white people can't dance.

dingding

It was just a dumb comment, I'm sure he didn't mean anything malicious by it. Don't let stuff like that get your dander up, just let it go and don't keep talking to him. Or say something funny back to him like "Well, mine prefers something stronger from his native tribe in Africa" - that will shut him up and be more effective. The more you let little stupid comments like that get a rise out of you, the more people will say them. Some people are weird that way...they like to say controversial things to see if they can get a reaction out of you. Take the high road and don't play their game.

Future Mrs. H

I would have said, "And some men, regardless of race, prefer to keep their feet in their mouths rather than on the floor where they belong."

He's an idiot. Ignore the ignorant.

Good luck :)

This is minor. I was once married to someone outside my race, I got called a chink lover and all kinds of names. People stared at us everywhere and mistreated us!

It was nuts! Just let it roll!

Bleu

there are so many naive and ignorant people. one of my ex co-workers that i use to sit across from totally offended my culture. she was a caucasian lady, she looks up at me and tells me you are not mexican are you, youre too pretty. i am mexican and i was speechless. she gave me a compliment and at the same time a very bad put down. :( it happens unfortunately.

Anna Banana

The guy was probably pissed that you didn't remember him from High School & just wanted to find a way to offend you. When I moved back home after being gone for years, I ran into 2 different guys from Junior High that I couldn't remember for the life of me but they knew everything about me. It really pissed them off. One of them even said, of course YOU wouldn't remember me. I didn't get it. I wasn't the "popular" girl but it made one guy feel really stupid and then he was mean to me every time I saw him after that.

True Iconoclast

I think that you handled it very well. I do have a story to share.

I was in class last year, trying to get scholarships (my family doesn't have a lot of money, and I will be starting medical school). The teacher passed out a paper stating what scholarships were open for application at that specific time. The in front of me asked me if I would like to see it, and a Latina rudely commented, "White doesn't need it - her mommy and daddy will pay for everything."

I felt very offended, due to the fact that I have had NO relations with my father for four years and that my family of 5 was living off of one single income (all of my money goes into savings). All I said to her was, "What makes you think that? We can't even afford our groceries on some months." She looked like she felt stupid, but I was still very offended.

Unknown Soul

Yeah, that's sad and mean. :-(

kim

can you say "overly sensitive" and "looking for something to get upset about"? You made a mountain out of a mole hill - you should have just laughed it off instead of trying to make a scene

True

Some people are just flat out ignorant. I work for a major corporation which supports a certain field of jobs that people with little education end up getting. One day I was introducing myself to someone at a wedding and she asked where did I work? When I told her, she says â€œoh really didnâ€™t the minimum wage just go up?â€ I said actually I work as a sr. analyst for the corporation. And she says â€œOh Iâ€™m sorry its just that â€˜those placesâ€™ are filled with Hispanics so I just assumed. You must have gotten one of those government grants. Good for you.â€ Mind you, I donâ€™t live in some city with 100 people. We live in Miami. I was totally offended. But at the end of the day, my success is just thatâ€¦my success. As long as Iâ€™m happy and healthy, thatâ€™s all that matters. Racism unfortunately is here to stay and you canâ€™t let comments made by stupid people get the best of you.

ishootvideo2002

I think it's important to distinguish an off hand comment, versus a "racist" comment.

It didn't sound hateful, or mean. I don't think he was trying to belittle your husband, or cause him harm.

If I was at a party and someone said "Americans never drink coffee.", I would laugh and say, "Well not this one anyway!". I wouldn't be mad or accuse someone of being Nationalist.

It sounds like an uncomfortable night anyway.

jimmy

Just get over it.
It may have bothered you but many people are overly sensitive, and it really doesn't warrant any thought. He could have said much worse.

spc.

I would have joked and teased. When that guy said that black men never drink coffee, I would use a witty answer to show how stupid it is something like, "Yes, absolutely. You know, blackologists have found that not one black man has ever touched a drop of coffee in the history of human kind! You must be really smart to have noticed this too, I mean, REALLY smart, genius maybe."

Maria A.

The world is full of ignorant people, being a minority female, I have heard my fair share of off beat remarks. I would have handle it differentlty. I would have been a wise *** back, and when he said 'black men don't drink coffee'. I would have said "I don't keep him around for a coffee buddy, I keep him around as he is very well endowed like black men are", and then I would said to the man "oh I am sorry you would not know" and laughed, you got to fight them with wit. Let them feel small, and let them see they can't make you feel small.

Darren G

It was an overgeneralized comment? Although he may have some stats to back it up, I'm not sure though. He can't say that ALL Africans Americans don't like coffee, because thats not true. But....it is possible that Africans Americans dont drink as much coffee as lets say whites.

Scarlet

I think you handled it right by saying you were offended. Don't know how much better it could have been handled. I think that is such a ridiculous comment to make. Race has nothing to do with a person's food/drink preference. What an ignorant statement.

(BTW-I work at starbucks and there is NO race or nationality we don't see regularly.)

Callie

He sounds ignorant. Fools are discovered when they open their mouth, so you found a fool. Consider the source and blow it off.

â™¥Roseâ˜º

I would've been too, that idiot....(sorry for bad language?!) O.o lol.

Me Vale

I think you handled it great!!! Racist comments don't deserve recognition! I am glad you didn't stoop yourself to that level. There are always going to be ignorant people in the world. Hope you don't have to see that person again.

Lunachit

I would have told him to not make any more comments like that around me. and then i would talk about something else.

Josh

Yea, I think a lot of the time people take things that are said out of context. I think this one is pushing the line though. To be honest I dont think there really is antyhing you can do. It is unfortunate that there a re people in the world like that but what you have to remember is no matter what you do they are never going to change. You can yell and fight but at the end of the day they think and feel how they do but they are the one that ultimately has to answer to it. Just try to let it it go, easier said than done I know.

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