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Realistically, how many times should a wife forgive her husband (and not leave him) if he hits her?
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Realistically, how many times should a wife forgive her husband (and not leave him) if he hits her?


i would forgive it one time and after that i would have to leave him. abusers don't usually change without some kind of intervention or therapy.

Leave after the first hit. They will only get worse. Tell him to get professional help - then you will come back.

Missy Moo

No More
My Hero Zero!

Brunette wife
Zero times.

1 time getting hit and i would be out of there and not look back.

Sufjan N

There is not ONE reason why a man should ever hit a woman! The real question should be "Why do I stay with a man that hits me"?

NEVER!!!!! if a husband hits his wife once, she should leave him...dont belive false promises of change, because once a hitter always a hitter. If theres kids invloved get out right away, you never know if they will harm children. dont put up with abuse its wrong.

People make mistakes, it's human nature. To be hit is not a mistake. You see the object and hit it. Its not like cheating or gambling. Once a man has hit a woman, a form of control develops and before you know it, it's not even your own life you are living. Hitting can lead to death.

You will become more and more dependent on him. He will make you feel as though you are nothing and that you are not worth being with someone new. You will hate your life, you will isolate your family. All for what? For a man that has so little respect as to hit you like a GUY??!!

You can forgive him, don't punish yourself further by holding onto that grudge..but forgive him a few states away. It never ends pretty unless you start your life over.

Make your plans then execute them. Do you really want to live like this? Break the spell, you CAN do this, and you are WORTH it!!

I used to be in an abusive relationship, and as much as I wanted to make it work (only God knows why), he just got worse and worse. It's true when people say if they do it once, they'll DO IT AGAIN! I know this is true!


hits you once, put him in jail!
Leave while he's there!

ONE TIME! There has been a lot of talk in the media lately about spousal abuse. Once a man hits you, HE WILL HIT YOU AGAIN! Nobody should ever be allowed to put their hands on you for any reason. If you allow this to happen more than once, you have given them permission to hurt you, and love should not hurt! He needs help dealing with his anger problem, and you are not the one that can help him. If you are even questioning whether or not to stay with someone who has physically or emotiionally hurt you, you need some counseling too! Your self-respect has been damaged, but it is not too late to get out of this relationship and get some help so you can one day be in a healthy relationship. You may love this man for a lifetime, but not all love relationships are good or healthy for us, and not all love relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Gather your self-respect and self-esteem and move out and move on without him! You deserve to be happy, not hurt!

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME!!"

If you take him back once...and most women do, unfortunately...DON'T do it, again!! He already proved he wasn't worthy the first time. Why give him the opportunity to prove it over and over and over again at your expense?

It doesn't get any better. Only worse.

Green eyed Tlingit
ZERO!!! If a man can raise his hand in anger, whats to stop him from repeating it. whats to stop him from "finishing the job." If he cant contain his emotions, then he has no right to be a husband in the first damn place. As a prior abuse victim...it only gets worse.

Bob and Donna
ZERO If he hits leave pronto. Don't get back together, he will hit again and again.

My husband knows that the first time he lays a hand on me, he better never sleep again, because I'll break both of his knee caps with a sledge hammer in his sleep. Married people do not hit each other.

s b

I luv my kids
I have to agree with Missy- Never

Never. Violence is never the answer and who could get so and and strike the person they claim to love honor and obey? It's unforgivable both ways.

Familiar patterns of wife abuse often develop in three phases: the tension-building phase, the explosion or the actual beating phase, and the loving phase.
The tension builds over a series of small occurrences such as a wife's request for money, her refusal to do all the household chores without her husband's help, her serving a meal not pleasing to him, or a similar incident. What follows is inevitable. She may become the object of any or all of the following assaults: punching with fists, choking, kicking, knifing, slamming against a wall, throwing to the floor, or shoving down the stairs.
When the beating is over, the couple move into the third phase. The batterer feels guilty about what he has done. He is sorry and may become loving toward her. He assures his wife that he will never do anything violent or hurtful to her again. At that moment, he may believe he will never hurt her again. She wants to believe him, hoping that he will change. However, even with professional help, the tension building and the beatings may continue.
Do not let this pattern continue get out as soon as you can.

Hitting is not the solution : before that think what created him to do that: if this is due to misunderstanding , or doubt & etc: try to clear it with a proper communication to his understanding:

if there is a fault on your side and if there is repetition on your side . you have to stop it .

None. 1 hit, I'm gone.

Pat G
3 strikes you're out!!
seriously, how many times are you gonna let him continue abusing you? what dues that say for you? you may love him madly, but what kind of love does he have for you?

my answer is 0 U dig? luv yourself

This is a ignorant question..you should know the answer..in case you dont its ZERO..i would never tolerate my husband hitting me..but then again i wouldnt marry a man who i thought was capable of such lows..

~*Honest Blunt Opinioner*~
if he wont learn the first time, he wont learn the 2nd 3rd or 4th. dumb the husband hes not willing to change.

I always give everyone a second chance. But if they do it a second time. You need to leave and never look back. I was in a marriage with a physically abusive man for 12 years. It took me that long and numerous beatings to finally get the courage to LEAVE. Actually, I left him after 3 years, but took him back. MISTAKE.

It's all about control. It's a mind game. People don't understand the mind of the abused woman. People accuse them of LIKING the beatings when that can't be further than the truth. We stay because our abuser has worked an intricate web of insecurity and fear into our brains and it's hard to break away from it. We fear for our lives. That and we want desperately for the good things to always be there and that there will never be another bad thing. But we are dillusioned.

If you are asking about yourself..... you need to set up a safty net with out your spouse knowing it. Get a friend network if he hasn't already alienated from any supportive friends already. Have a place to stay when you leave. A safe place. Talk to your local support services. Save up some money if you can. File for divorce and have him served. If you have kids, CSS won't let him visit unless he gets councelling. It's a bad thing that he needs to get help for.

And don't fall for him begging you back after he goes to two or three councelling sessions. He needs YEARS of therapy and so do you as the abused. Don't ever go back. Once a punching bag, always a punching bag. If the physical abuse goes away, the mental abuse will take it's place. I sure hope things work out for you.

Never. Hit me once, and his butt is in jail, and I'll be home packing my stuff and leaving never to return. He'll be lucky if most of his stuff is in one piece when he gets out.

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