Royally confused and torn.?
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Royally confused and torn.?
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Well, I stayed with the father of my beautiful son. (I posted a question about 11 months ago.) We got our own place in July and our son was born in August. I immediately went back to classes the following week and am looking forward to my graduation. In the long run though, I am so royally frustrated. My husband hasn't really been helping me out at all as I take care of the house in full. He tends to like to come home and hop on our computer to play poker and crap. Recently, okay over this past weekend, he has cooked twice and done the dishes once. I really don't know how to take that one. Some of my friends think he overheard me talking about the possibility of divorce.
We have another little one on the way now. We took all necessary precautions outside of not doing anything at all and yet, well apparently I am just that fertile once my endometrial scarring was reversed.
I don't know at this point. Even with him helping out, I am not happy. My ex-fiance has spent every night talking to me and trying to help me cope with the depression and all. I can't even talk to my husband about it. Well, actually we don't talk almost at all. There are days that I wonder if I only stayed because he is the father of my child. I was raised that if you had a child, you were supposed to marry and that it is a forever deal when you do.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Additional Details
Not talking isn't a choice of mine. I actually am afraid to bring up anything with him. He typically walks off or puts his shoes on and takes a drive. I know that he is extremely introverted but it tends to put a road block in our relationship. He also knows my ex is now happily married, and he is in weird conversations with his ex-crush.
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Common_Cents
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Have you tried telling him how you feel? It is sad because alot of women think us guys automatically know what is going on in thier heads and expect us to know what to do without them telling us how they feel and what it is that is bothering them. Tell him how you feel, try giving him a chance to change and if he doesnt then consider divorce if you really feel you have to.
Open communication is key. |
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結縁 Heemei
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Think, perhaps you're not in as deep the mess as you're think you're in. At least you have a husband that put food on the table, and you don't have to worry about working.
My husband doesn't even pick up behind himself, he doesn't cook, clean or lift his finger at all. I do the child raring, working, and cooking, cleaning all by myself. Though he earn a whole lot of more money than me. That's why I let him out of the hook.
If I were you I wouldn't talk to my ex bf, because it's only going to make you more and more depressed, because you will keep on thinking to your self what would if be like if I married him instead.
My best advice to you as a mom is think lots of what you do have, but not what you don't have. Because children are the happiest with their biological father, that's assuming your husband love his child |
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SinZombie
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I also feel like marriage is a forever deal....at least lifetime deal. From that point of view, it doesn't really matter how you got there. You are married now and trying to keep that commitment. It seems like one problem is that you are talking to another guy every night. My wife did that for a while, and I was so mad, I had to go for walks to blow off steam. It's really important that you talk with him about how you are feeling, but not overwhelm him. It's too bad he is introverted and putting up road blocks. If you hope to save the marriage, I think you have to find a way to reach him. Maybe marriage counseling would help him to open up about how he is feeling and help you guys move forward. If money is an impediment to get counseling, then maybe a church can help, or any objective third party that you both respect. |
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d.i
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Since there are two children involved, I would agree that you should work on it. To be honest your text contradicts itself, you mention how your husband isn't helping you out, still you are also distant with him. I find that when most relationships have this kind of problems, there is usually blame on both sides. I mean, sorry, but if my husband would be talking to his ex-fiancé every night, I would be sticking to my computer too. If you are truly committed to this being a "forever deal", then i suggest making the most of what you have. Talking to him instead of other people would be a start. |
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Cableguy
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OH D*mn what a mess |
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Chrys
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I think you two need to grow up. Being married and having kids does NOT do that. So leave and make sure you have some help...let Mr Do Nothing pay for his mistakes and you both be adults about it. |
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