SHOULD I ASK FOR MONEY FOR CLOTHES IF MY EX PAYS SUPPORT?

I have 2 older boys with my ex. He just recently started paying child support. I was thinking of asking him to help with school clothes this year. Both boys are in school this year, and my husband and I have bought for my older son the past 2 years. With both of the boys being in school this year its going to get costly. I dont want to sound like a money grubbing ex, but we have done it the past 2 years. ( He was not paying child support when we bought for my older son, and still didnt help.) He was in fact supposed to buy the boys winter coats and boots in our "deal" those 2 years. of course, my husband and I bought the coats and boots when he did not.

I dont want to sound horrible for asking him, this is the first time I would ask him to help out. I dont want him to just hand me money either. I was just going to ask for him to bu some stuff for the kids as money has been a little tight the past few months.

Thank you for your help and opinions.

I posted this once already but forgot to add some details. He has the boys 2 days a month. every other saturday from 6 at night till sunday at noon. He has nothing for them. Yes, I pack clothes, food, snacks ext. Plus send them both with 5.00 so he can take them to the dollar menu at mcdonalds if needed because he never has anything for them. I even went out and bought them both a mattress for his house for on the floor so they have a place to sleep. Its not that he does not have the money. He just has them so little he dont feel the need to have the "extras" for them.

OH AND YES, HE OWES OFVER 2000 IN BACK CHILD SUPPORT
Additional Details
he does NOT pay the back child support. he pays 40.00 a week for 2 kids. He has a "normal" job and a "cash" job. He does not claim the cash job and we cant prove it.

insomniac

You can ask him, but it sounds like he's not going to care or give you any money for their school clothes.

Marina

Nope, that's what your child support is for. He is meeting his obligation now to his kids...he doesn't have to do extra unless he wants to. My ex owes 15k in past child support, so don't feel too overwhelmed.

J.J.

No but you can ask him to take the kids to walmart to pick out 2 or 3 outfits each for the kids. Have him take the boys shopping.

Bonding and clothes for school...

Bio hopeful

you can ask but he has no legal obligation. If he was supposed to buy winter stuff you should have reminded him of took it to the judge. but you cant go back and say oh well you never got this for them.

You're getting child support now and some of it is for the clothes.

jodiprossr

If he's paying child support that's what it's for. He's paying what he's suppose to pay for then kids.

ablex

I wouldn't even bother. It sounds like he is unable or unwilling to provide even the basics (like food and a bed). It's not worth the aggravation.

Sandy

Reading the extra details you posted, I think its safe to ask him. But don't be angry or surprised if he feels he doesn't have to. Its hard dealing with these type of situations. And believe me, we all understand money being tight these days and you can surely use his help. When you ask him, remember the "way" you ask is just as important as what you're asking. If you sound demaning as if he owes you and the kids (which he does, but we won't go there) he'll probaly get on the defense. But ask him nicely. I wish you well!

blueeyedgrl

No that is what the child support is used for. You can try and ask him but he is under no obligation to help out with extras. You can always go back to court and ask for an increase.......he sounds like his kids are more of an inconvenience then anything. Why would he not want to provide things at his house for his kids? That I don't agree with. You shouldn't be providing your kids with money for food. You husband needs to take care of his responsibilities as a parent. What a dead beat!!

njoyabl

He should be willing to help out with his kids whenever necessary. Child support is to help care for the child, put a roof over their head, pay the bills so you have what you need, and yes clothing. As you know, it costs a lot to take care of children, and even though, he may pay child support, you still support the kids and buy them all the immediate extras that they need. If he loves his kids, and they don't have clothes for school, he should be willing to help out, it is the moral of the thing and the fatherly thing to do. You shouldn't feel bad about asking him to share in on this with you.

Horse Up

Yes. You would think he would do it out of love. After all it is for his kids. Nothing wrong with asking. Dont feel bad no matter what anyone says.

ouragon

If he's paying cs, you are supposed to budget properly and buy them clothes. This is an unusual situation, because he owes cs AND he's cheating on paying it.

My husband's ex gets 600-900 a month and her children have NOTHING and it's a particular pet peeve of mine. Everytime they come we have to buy them everything from shampoo to coats to take home. What does she do with the money? I've been on the receiving end of cs, and my ex didn't have to buy my child anything in addition.

Invisigoth

child support is for the school clothes but if you need more you can always ask.

is he on a payment plan for the back support? use that money before you ask him for more but if he isn't then issue him a receipt stating he is giving you $X above and beyond child support for school clothes and that you are willing to deduct that amount from what he owes on back support.

Tracy H

He has no financial obligation to provide you with more than the court ordered amount. Since your boys are young it sounds, you can find really nice clothing at the Goodwill, thrifts stores and garage sales. Post an ad on craigslist looking for used boys clothing/sizes. That is what I would recommend, kids at this age could care less what they wear let alone where it comes from. Save the money you would spend on new clothing for less superficial expenses. Quit sending the kids with $10, if you want to help take the $10 and purchase groceries, additionally I'm sure he is more than capable and willing to feed his children, they will survive on PB&J. I'm not real sure what to think or how to respond to your situation, "extras" are great, but not a necessity. "Extras" come as finances allow, such as tax refund time. Be appreciative of the support you are receiving and you must learn to budget the child support just as you do the income you are earning.

court court

yes tell him its going to be tight on you and that you wish he would help you

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