Should I Move Away from My home for a man?

okay so im 19 years old and my boyfriend of four years(24) is from el paso, when he moved here to albuquerque 4 years ago we hit it off and been together ever since. Now he is home sick and wants to go home we have faught about it and i've cried over it i love him but i love my family more and i know they will support me but i will miss them alot because they are apart of my daily rutine. I dont know if i should go because he gave me an ultimatum of you move with me to el paso or im leaving you and i dont feel like he really knows what he wants and he doesn't have anything down there we would have to start over, we would be living with his grandfather we have lived together since we met about two months into our relationship i was pregnant has a miscarage and ive never really been away from him, should i stay with him and move to el paso or should i just let him go

soozemusic

My advice is that you do not move. At your age you do need your family. Just like he found out he needs his. You more than likely will wind up breaking up, and then having the responsibility of moving back home and that expense. In addition, his ultimatum is not acceptable to someone you allegedly love. He should of decided to move and when he is stable and in his own place, then send for you - at his expense. Call his bluff and stay by your family.

Bill F

Maybe a good compromise would be just taking a vacation to El Paso. If the problem is just homesickness, that should cure the problem.

If it doesn't, well, I don't like the ultimatum part of this story. If it doesn't, I would say wish him well, and let him go, especially since he doesn't have anything going down there. The whole relocation plan smacks of poor planning, and more of a whim than a plan.

It's not good to move around so much, especially for no concrete reason (like for a job); it looks bad on credit reports and background checks.

mtblucky

a man should never give u an ultimatem like that especially if he knows ur are especially close to family. if he wasnt just thinking about himself and you two, he would think about how it will affect u and wat makes you happy to make things work out. dont move if u are having doubts. moving is a big decision, and only go if u kno for sure cuz u may be unhappy in the end

*L!L!*

I feel like he is pushing you to move without you clearly thinking. Take a deep breathe and think....do you want to live in a place you don't really know and with his grandfather or do you want to stay with your family who aren't pressuring you to stay or move. If he loves you he would not threaten to leave you. Talk to him.

howcrazy

he needs to understnad your needs and you need to understand his...i think that you two will really have to talk it over more.

Barb Outhere

One question, and one question only that needs to be answered. What sort of commitment to you, is he willing to offer, if you move to be with him?
You've already had 4 years as boyfriend/girlfriend. So is this move so that you can maintain the Status Quo, remaining just as you are, or is he offering you a greater commitment - engagement/marriage - if you make this sacrifice for him?
Because if he wants you to move as his girlfriend, I wouldn't do it.

â™¥HisBabygirl?â™¥

If you want to live a miserable life Dont listen to me.

If you go you will be stupid for letting him control that choice. This will give him the green light to punk you around and keep you in place.
Most likely you will get pregnant(like bringing a child into a f up relationship will make things better(poor children that suffer when girls do this) and all that will do is bring is someone to cry with when he breaks your heart ...a g a i n. Youll end up staying because you finally have a baby and although you want to leave you can't because he says if you leave he will keep take the baby from you. So you stay again get pregnant again ....................

ABCD

you completely lack a sense of adventure. how about being open to grow? YOu're goign to stay in the same place forever and never try something new, not even for the sake of love?

I'd break up with you b/c I'd be afraid of dying of boredom.

At your age I'd been around the world and I couldn't wait to see more. I can't imagine...

Kelz

It sounds like you already have made up your mind, but if not... i know if it was me i would want to be wherever my bf is, i love my family very very much to and miss them when i am not near them, but you can go and visit right? You are still very young though to be away from your family and living with a grandfather is not the best way of starting a new life with your man, you just have to do what you think will make you happy, i know right now that you probably can not imagine having him in your life but you have to think of yourself right now and make the decision based on how you feel, not on what choice he has given you...good luck chicky, i know this will not be easy :)

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