Should I allow my wife to be a stay at home mom?

Dr. R

If u dont like that means u should not had married her.

Shoshie Z

When you married her those other guys kids became your stepkids. She is your wife and if she wants to raise your children (the ones you acquired by marriage) and stay at home you should respect that providing you can afford it.

If you have kids together, I hope you will not play favorites with your children versus hers. It would be unfair to the kids.

The word 'allow' that you used says a lot about how you view your the boss in the relationship. Last I checked, marriage was a two way street.

Debbie B

She should work. However, if she is only going to earn enough money to pay child care then that beats the purpose.

You should have thought this through before you got married. Don't you think?

zero tolerance

i say u re pretty lousy man and u should have discussed these matters before u got married. i am a stay at home mom with kids from previous marriage. we discussed it before the marriage and he was fine with it. and i stay at home not only with someone else's kids, i also clean and cook and take care of myself that i do not look like a mountain of untidy lard

Ditz

I know they are not your kids, but you have married her and in doing that you've made a commitment for those kids to be your own, I'm afraid, so the scenario should not be different if you have children together at all. You should think of them as yours, or the relationship is already in trouble. Sorry to freak you out, and I don't want to make you feel bad for the way you feel but that really is the way it should be.

But in saying that, she owes you the same consideration. How old are the kids? Does she really need to stay home with them? In regards to her being a stay at home mum I think that's a bit unfair to you, if you don't want that much pressure on yourself. You shouldn't have to be the major breadwinner if you don't want to and she should respect your wishes. It's all about compromise!

Enrique M

I think by you getting married- you should have accepted the fact that her kids are now yours, meaning you have to treat the situation as it is.
I'm with you, I would feel uncomfortable working hard and knowing she is at home with his (biological) kids.. But they are now yours man!..
Here's what I suggest!. Tell her You believe it is a good idea for her to get a job so ALL of you are better of financially, tell her you guys should save money..or buy a home (if you don't own one) .but you have to make it easy on her ears if you really want this to work...
your wife and her kids are now your family..you got to do whats best..!
one way or another suggest that she gets a job..but try not to mention it as HER kids.. good luck.

Alexis C

Listen, douche. When you married your wife, you got the kids. It is package deal, love it or hate it. You should of thought of this before you married her, but now that you have, respect her decision to raise her kids. She isn't chilling with her kids, she is taking care of them.

Jessie James

Grow up!

rob

You should respect her decision and let her bring up her kids how she see's fit.

B.k.

only if you can afford it. and if you can you are blessed!

Paul&Fran

Im sorry but your being selfish here. When you married, her kids are part of the package. And by stating you would let her stay home with YOUR child and NOT hers from the prevous isn't fair. She loves these kids as much as she would love yalls. And you have to treat them the same as you would your own. Sorry im not with you.

Kellyâ™¥'sJames

I see your point but then again they are her kids too!

Barb Outhere

You should not have married her.
She came as a package deal, her and the kids. You knew that. To say "When we have children together that would be a totally different scenario." shows you were/are not prepared to deal with them as a group proposition. Sounds like you made a mistake in your thinking here.
So how are you going to fix that?

Kimmy

my mom became a sahm for awhile her husband isn't me "real dad" that doesn't and shouldn't have anything to do with it. i love my step dad (i never call him that) i have no desire whatsoever to see my real dad. i appreciate my step dad and all that he has done for me. it takes a real man to step up to the plate. you and your wife need to have a major discussion about this before you decide together. i hope you don't talk this way infront of the kids. if you do your wife should pack up and leave ya!

alwayswvgirl

Allow? You are not her father, moron.

Grenoble

encourage her to work from home - find something she does well and be self employed. i agree with you, she or the children's father should contribute financially.

la.ti.da

welp there your sign, she isnt staying home permamently yet and you are already HELL NAW, etc....

i am a stay at home mom, have been for 5 years now. and i swear to god if i knew then what i know NOW... aint no way in hell i wouldve agreed to stay at home after the 1st 2 yrs w/ both my kids!

it wouldnt be a big deal if it were just the money worrying you. but again I KNOW since im still at home with mine. YOU will see, treat , be completely different with her. you will more then likely talk down , degrade, demand maid type services and infact treat her like the maid simply because , she is at home all day doing nothing(IN YOUR MIND anyways)

and thats is just straight jacked up, i mean we are home , cleaning, trying to keep OUR KIDS safe because even at school or a daycare is no longer safe anymore. trying to install manners, good behavior, acceptable bad behavior, learning, etc....

the answer is kinda scattered but, I AGREE WITH YOU because , your relationship will change, no doubt about it. so if the both of you want to deal with all that ****, well then let her stay at home! and i agree with you for HER btw, cuz $%^& being treated like a maid, like someone little bell answerer, made a fool of because you care about kids and dont wanna miss a thing!

Aussiemum

In this day, 2 people have to work to have a 'decent' life.

sweetgirl

Let her stay home. If she relies on you it will be less likely that she will leave.It's good for the kids to be watched

jy-aboul

Oh no...when you get married you marry the kids also it comes as a package.....You should see those kids as yours now......If you want her to work it'ss be for free because of the sitter bill......maybe after you get home off work she can go to work part time some where then you can watch the kids while she's working..

Helicreature

It sounds like she thinks she has landed herself a meal ticket.

marriedandamom

When you married her, you knew she was a "package deal". Her kids may be "some other guys kids" but they are also hers and very much a part of her and "two (you and her) become one" when you are married so now they are "yours" as well. She must get some sort of support from her ex for them? If not maybe you could compromise - she can work PT and help to support the children and then be home the rest of the time to raise them and take care of your house and have meals ready for you or whatever.

mileyrae_82

I thought about your question for a while. I am a stay at home mom and can see her wanting to stay home with her kids. That being said, if they are not your children than no she should be working to pay for them. If she wants to stay home then she needs to go to court and get money from their father. If she already gets child support but it's not enough to stay home either go back to court and get more from him. I think she should be working though. Yes they are your step kids and you should love them no different but the truth still stands that they are not your responsibility to pay for 100% while she sets around watching tv all day. My personal view is that you should never marry someone who is divorced or has a child to some one else because all your doing is taking on some one elses problems and mistakes.

girly

she has to work for those children of other man....if she would say no, then give the custody to the father

Pooh

if she stays home, she'll get fat and lazy...

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