Should I cheat on him?

butterfly_kisses81501

why dont u just dump him...why would u even go to his level???

Tyra99

Do not cheat. You will only lower yourself to his level. Please move on and find someone that will be honest and true to you.

c_my_blueeyes

NO NO NO NO........don't cheat. Just drop the bum. He doesn't deserve your time nor energy. Look ahead. Brighter and better things await you.

olderbutwiser

Cheating is NOT the answer.....LEAVING IS! Do NOT marry this bum!

kiss me

Don't cheat on him and don't marry him. It will happen again, and if you "get even" you will have to live with that guilt forever. Neither one will be good.

Kristal E

2 wrongs don't make a right- leave him, don't get married unless you want him to continue to do this to you. why the need for the petty behavior of getting back at him just be done and move on to someone who will show you some respect

colee

don't do it, if you can't get over it don't get married. do you want a marriage where you both spend all your time trying to get even with each other

reddevilbloodymary

unless the two of you have kids together, I see no good reason to stay with him, why would you want to stay with a cheater....you've tried the counseling...but unless you have kids, MOVE ON and find someone who doesn't have a history of lying, betraying, being selfish etc.....you want to be a betrayer and liar too?

ricegirl

NEVER cheat! Even if he did. Get out of the relationship if you can't move on. If you do cheat you will have that guilt over you the rest of your life. If it doesn't work out with this guy you have the knowledge that you are better than him, if you do cheat once a cheat always a cheat, is how you will look and feel! Cheating is always wrong no matter what the situation!

vickie m

I think you need to break your engagement with him, and spend some time working on yourself. These kind of games won't work, this is your wake-up call, be glad you found out what he's like before you married him, and had kids.

amyjo

Why would you want to sink to his level? That would make you are no better than him and would not make you even. You know how bad you feel now about him cheating on you...think how bad you would feel cheating on him! Call off the engagement until you both grow up a little. Marriage is a life-long commitment not a until something better comes along deal!

cinnatigg

It won't bother or prove a point to him. It will just make you feel stupid and dumb. I cheated on my man (before we got serious) and he decided he wanted to get back. It didn't even phase me or bother me. I knew he was doing it to get under my skin, but it didn't. He felt stupid and wanted some space from me. You can do one of two things. You can just walk away for a few months and make him realize what his life will be without you. Or you can just drop the whole deal. Because if you want to be with him, you will no matter what advice you get. Just remember, two wrongs don't make it right. Just makes the other person be a copycat.

smile4u

It sounds like the two of you should end the engagement. If you truly can't get over what he has done(and only you would know) then you need to move on. You can love someone and not be able to be married to them. It sounds like he hasn't sewn all his oats and he needs to move on also. When you need therapy before you even get married I am afraid you won't have much chance at marriage. Don't get even that just lowers your standards. Think of how you felt when it happened to you. Just move on and find someone who cares about you and wouldn't cheat. Good Luck

Lady in Red

Will cheating on him actually make you feel better about him cheating? Will it make you trust him more or forgive him? No. You will still distrust him and he will distrust you. Either way, you'll never trust him again. Be the bigger person, and leave him. If he's gotten by with it twice, he'll do it again.

Girliegirl

Cheating on him to get even will only complicate matters more. If this is so hard for you to accept and move past, then I think you have to look at the big picture about the whole marriage. If you are having this hard a time now, how will it be when you are married - forever. I would never stay in a relationship trying to be the bigger person, I would stay because I loved him and wanted it to work, but we all have our limits on what we can forgive and he may have pushed you past yours. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you want to end it and move on. But cheating as retaliation won't solve anything. In fact it would be the beginning to the end. What will you do every time he does something that makes you mad, or hurts you? Will you retaliate then too? Personally, I think you need to walk away for yours and his sake

Love

Don't cheat on him. If you are even thinking of doing something that horrible, dump your fiancee. Because you aren't ready to be married.

Kassie K

Two wrongs Don't make a right, Sweetheart. I think what you need to do is really sit back and take some time away from everything and everyone and figure out if he is the one that you want to spend the Rest of you Life with. Do you love him enough to forgive and forget or is this something that you think he will continue to do...Then there is also the question of wether he Loves you because of the fact that he has cheated on you twice in your relationship together. (that you know of) I live by the quote that my daddy used to say all the time. "Wrong me once, shame on you. Wrong me twice, shame on me." Which means that I can take you back and forgive you for the first mistake that you made because you are my man and I love you, BUT if you do it again (twice) then I am going to have to take serious measures on where I am going to keep you around. But at the same time I also go by the rule of a marriage is a sacred commitment that two people take and should keep forever just as it says to in your vows that you make to each other in front of God and all your family and friends. Once you are committed to him then it would be a lot harder to just walk away. That is why I am saying you should REALLY think about what you want and go from there. But Cheating is never the answer.

Big Daddy!!!

but this saying is even better, "Two wrongs don't make it right." if you already need couple therepy, then getting married is not such a good idea. he has cheated on you as his girlfriend, now his fiance, and then he may cheat as his wife. you need to think about this very hard and close, because it sounds like the road to disaster. bd

â™¥Sabreâ™¥

so you think cheating on him is how you think things will work themselves out? that does NOT make you a bigger person

ez-goin

u got to leave him cuz it anint worth starting amarriage with drama
also if you have kids in the future w/ this man then he does it agin and agin what about the kids?
get out get out get out it aint worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Summer B

If he has cheated on you twice already and you guys are not married yet, what makes you think he will stop once you guys get married. Drop the guy. It's not about being a bigger person, it's about what will happen when you guys are married, have kids and then he cheats.

the_hedda_lettuce

How about dumping the guy and finding someone you can trust?

You already have trust issues and infidelity. Why get married at this point?
It's obvious by his behavior he's not ready to settle down with one woman, so why go into this full well knowing he's going to cheat on you again?

retropink

Revenge is never the answer. I would advise you to find a therapist you trust & talk this out on your own. You need to find out if you can move past this. Do not marry this guy until you resolve this and until you can trust him. If you feel you can't trust him call off the wedding. Better to do that then get divorced later.

Best of luck!

Stephen K

And prove what? You don;t have to wallow in filth to know that it is not beneficial.

You have to ask the Big Question:

"Am I better off with him or without him?"

The answer determines your next step

willwayward

The first thing I would do is cancel your wedding plans until you can sift through all of this. If you marry, you are headed for disaster. I was cheated on and know how painful it is. Even after years of therapy, I still have very hard feelings about it. Good Luck!

Mel

I felt this exact same way when I caught my boyfriend of three years cheating. I wanted to "get even" and prove that I could do it too. I don't know what it is....it's like you want to prove to him that if he can take your relationship for granted like that and have such little respect for it, then by gosh so can you. But, trust me, it will only make yourself feel worse in the end. Fantasize about it....it's good to let your mind wander and think about what it would feel like to get "revenge." But don't actually do it. It will only hurt you more and he will know it was just out of spite.

Katana1971

Dont do it, you wont be any better them him, and most likely will feel horribly guilty yourself afterwards...if you can get over it.....leave him it will probably be for the best.

Rooster 1972

After reading your post the signs of "over" are there. First of all your fiancee has been totally untrue to you not once but twice that you know of. Then from your note I can tell that you no longer trust him. Well when you lose trust in any type of relationship it is time to move on. Thirdly it sounds like you just cannot forget all the bad things that have happened to you, which of course is normal. So with all these "red" flags waving at you, I would be the first to say I know you deserve better than this. So the best thing to do right now is to cut your losses and move on. Marriage is not in the cards for you with this man. If you marry this man you will live a life of distrust, heartbreak and misery. Do you really want to go down this path that this man offers you? Do you really want to live any part of your life like this? Hopefully you can see that life is not supposed to be like this. From your posts I can see and tell that you truly deserve better than this. Find someone who will respect you and honor you and will truly give you the kind of life any normal human being would want. Whatever you do, "do not get even" Trust me that would come back to haunt you so bad, it would be unbelievable. Never ever repay any wrong deed with getting back. Take the understanding that you are a bigger person than this, cut your losses and move on. If you do this, I promise you will be a much happier than you are today.

superthunda

Be the bigger person and walk away. Dont cheat on him becuase word gets around and guys will lable you a cheat and they have a saying once a cheat always a cheat so he is not going to change.
The best way to get even with him is dump him and let him marry the girl he is cheating with. DONT marry him cause he is goin to do it again then you are goin to have to file for divorce and it gets ugly so walk away now while you dont have as much invested. You will find the right guy an honest guy that wont take advantage of you.
But get rid of him how do you know he has ever been faithful to you. You dont there is no trust there anymore so get rid of him and move on you can do so much better than him girl.

ronald g

I'm available when you are ready.

There's also the saying "Two wrongs don't make a right."

If you want to work on it, then work on it. If you don't then break it off. Cheating on him will only fuel the fire and make it even more difficult for a marriage to work.

If you are angry enough to cheat on him and he's immature enough to cheat on you the wedding shouldn't be taking place. Where's the love & trust?

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