Should I contact my lovers wife?

Jasmine

What is it you want to tell her?

Edit - actually, no, don't bother. She will be likely to turn around and blame it all on you, and he of course will side with her, and you will feel the worst you've ever felt in your life. This man you "love" will exhibit a side to him you haven't seen before, and believe me it's not a side you want to see, once you have threatened his stability - just watch his mouth run off at you and the threats will start.

YOU'RE a towel!

Why? Haven't you done enough?

Happy-2

What you should be asking yourself, instead, is whether you should even have a lover who has a wife. Clearly, the answer is no.

stixy_stixy

Don't do it. You are already doing something you shouldn't be doing-- sleeping with a married man. Karma is gonna getchya.

Winter is over... yay!

No, you shouldn't.

snowball

Are you intending to spill the beans? If so, then go for it. Don't let this woman waste another day with a cheating ba$tard. Let her in on your dirty little secret. She may still have a chance to find a real man. As for you, stock up on the tissues, you will walk away with nothing.

Angel's Wings

No it will not help her cope...she would not care about your side, your opinion, your anything. All you will be to her is the woman that slept with her husband, knowing he was married!

What is your motive here? Do you actually think she'll throw him out and he'll come running to you? Ha! That's not how it works!

If you are feeling guilty, woman up and stop doing a married man! Besides, who wants to be with someone who has committed his life, heart and soul to someone else and hasn't had the nads to break it off if he's not happy?

julie o

The question is...why does your lover have a wife? I think you are the one that needs to learn to cope.... most married men don't leave their wives for flings and that is what you are. What do you think he will do if you call her? I bet you won't like your answer.

frugalquilter

Actually, she should be contacting you to tell you to leave her husband alone.

KellyMD

No, don't contact her if you're doing it just because you're upset because he isn't leaving her....or because you are jealous...or because you want to wreck havoc. I have come to learn that in marriages, spouses probably don't want to know, because then they have to do something about it. Leave it alone. When he's ready for her to know (IF he'll ever be ready), he should be the one to tell her, not you.

Memory

You knew the guy was married. So why bother the wife, unless your looking forward to her telling you off.

Lela A

If there gives you any peace of mind, then call her

Kaboom

You need to provide more detail...like WHY you want to contact her? what are you trying to achieve? Are you angry with your lover and is this a revenge thing to get back at him? Are you trying to break up their marriage so you can be with that two-timing cheat? Does he want you too, or will he get upset with you, and do you want that?

Do you sense your affair is coming to an end and you are doing the spurned lover thing?

In all cases i don't really see any good in it, other than satisfying your lust for revenge at everyone else's expense. And by the sound of things, i dont think you have any right to be pointing your finger at anyone else. Just because you don't have a family, and he does, doesnt make you any more right

SadGirl1974

yes what if she was you ?

freebienutter

firstly if he is willing to cheat on his wife he will be willing to cheat on you ditch the lowlife.
Secondly his wife does have a right to know what is going on, however put yourself in her shoes.
Having been the wife and finding out afterwards really does hurt, what hurt was all my friends knew and they thought they would rather not hurt my feelings. it was only when I got suspicious and thought he might be having an affair that I spoke to my friends and they told me the truth.
So maybe lose her number is the best idea, but the number you should be binning is your lovers.

Lori F

No you shouldn't. And you shouldn't be seeing a married man. He'll never marry you. If by some small chance he did you would spend the rest of your life wondering if he's cheating on you. Dump him.

Steven K

Only if your lower agrees...

Amber

I think you should reflect on what your motivations for doing so first. Is it because he isn't calling you enough or spending enough time with you? Then that isn't going to get him to do the opposite. If it's because you are so consumed by guilt and you can't do it anymore and want her to know who she is married to, then I think you should consider if you would appreciate it.

I myself would want someone to tell me if they had that info on my husband, but I wouldn't want to hear it from someone malicious. I guess I just wouldn't do it if it's because you want him to spend more time with you.

Emptiness

One thing for sure anything the man tells you is a lie, I'm sure he made his wife seem like a *****.

Why would you want her to suffer????????????????

Why are you disrespecting your self ?????????????????

Greyhound Mama

I don't think this is a true question. It is the exact opening words from another question you just answered:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aqw8xu1.AI04egCeS0tDIZTB7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20090424051915AAzuL0i

I don't see any point in calling the wife if you are the husband's mistress. If she does know you'll get all of her anger. If she doesn't know you will hurt her terribly.

jaysye

Why would you want to call her? To say sorry? Forget it, she will never forgive you.

Elsie P. Rez

No, it's between your lover and his wife. Leave them both alone or accept that he's married and isn't leaving her for anyone. If you think it's wrong what he's doing, then why are you being an acting part in it?What do you want to happen by contacting her?

Rachel R

Play your position and keep it on a downlow. I'm sure you knew what was up when you first started seeing him. No need to catch feelings now.

Stephanie

I would call her. She deserves to know and then she will leave her awful husband and then he will leave you for telling.

Over all that sounds really great!

I really suggest therapy for you. You obviously have no self esteem if you have to be with another woman's man.

kitkat

Katie

i would but only from a pay phone.... you don't want to be the one to ruin a marriage, especially if they have kids.... get out now but let her know how much of a bas**** she is married to.

DonnaD

I'm also in the same situation i would like to call his wife to tell her all about the affair her husband had with me, we broke up about two months ago it was my decision but would like his wife to know what she has because she thinks that he is the greatest man ever i just hate to know she thinks he is so perfect and loyal to her, i wanna tell her everything but i don't want him to know it was me i want it to look like it was an accident or something not involving me, how do i tell his wife about us?

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