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nwnativeprincess
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You can not have a future, if you do not let go of your past. |
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PJ
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Start calling up an ex bf or make one up. See how he feels about that. Perhaps it will open his eyes to what is wrong with his behavior. If he can't let go, then you need to move on. This is causing you a lot of stress. |
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fer fer
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why did you marry this guy? he's obviously still hung up on her! |
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Lady Indica
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As long as you tolerate this kind of behavior it will continue. Your just letting him have his cake and eat it too. |
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Shlane
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Confused, you already have your answer...i wont say divorce but maybe a seperation? Do that...get some distance from him. it will do you good! and will show him how his life would be without you! |
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Pretty in INK
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I would trust your instincts and tell him its you or her..I'm not one for ultimatums but you are his WIFE she is an Ex |
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Sugar
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You deserve a man who loves you and who wants to cherish wonderful memories with you.... not some other woman. It sounds like you've given it enough time, if nothing has changed by now it isn't going to. Find some one who wants to build a future with you, not live in the past. |
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.
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If you don't like sleeping with the proverbial three in the bed, then divorce him. I wouldn't put up with it for a moment. That's ridiculous. |
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DKNY D
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Hmmm sounds like you are being used as a rebound. But now you are married. Too late. Its up to him, but may be you need to separate life with him, give him a space to sort thing through. You do not have to get a divorce, but break up / separate with him, to get the relationship works better. I know this may sounds crazy, but some time break is healthy. Just make sure you two has agreement during the break up / separation period such as "do not see any one else, stay in touch once a week, " things like that. |
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spoonhead
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If he loves you he should put your feelings first whether he thinks it's silly or not. If she's just a friend he would want to put your mind at ease and maybe either try to get the two of you together or be more open in front of you. I don't think you should throw your marriage away but explain to him how bad it makes you feel. I would say that the problem isn't the ex but his inconsideration of your feelings about it. |
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Matt
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yes |
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luvlisteningtomusic
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He could always change is telephone number. If he cannot do that then he can screen his calls and not talk to her. He should be only into you and talking about the memories you two have done together. He needs to let go or you should separate for awhile because she could be weaseling her way back into his life. I wouldn't put up with it. |
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voukengherman
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divorce or marrige?
put the 2 options on a balance and judje.
warn him
let him know clearly that he has to choose her or you.
he might be having decision problems and doing that will bring him to reality. maybe he experienced something so deep with her that he is feeling like she has got a part of him with her...
put the situation i front of him and urge him to get decided.
make sure that if he decides to be with you, that you will be faithfull and reliable you too and i think everything will be ok |
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Ria S
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do they have children together if they do they can talk but not all the time if they don't you need to leave they should be together if they are not doing it already |
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Pisces Princess
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First of all anyone in this situation would be very much confused. It’s hard for someone to just say yes pack your bags and walk out the door or pack his bags and send back to her. No one knows what you really feel however suggestions can be made. It doesn’t sound as though your husband got over his relationship with his ex. He either needs to obtain closure from his past or he needs to be honest with you and tell you he’s not gotten over her. Either way he holds the answers that you need. Is he going to give them freely to you more than likely not. You need to consider other options for yourself as far as the marriage is concerned. Can you walk away and be secure financially as well as mentally. If you seem to be having arguments over the same issues day in and day out then perhaps the marriage does need to come to an end. Him allowing her to call, him saying I’ll call you back means he wants to talk to her. Regardless of who’s calling and who’s accepting the calls it’s not right for him to be talking to her and then fighting with you about it. Him almost comparing your marriage to what he had with her by stating what she experienced and what they had together states he wants to be with her. You need to decide if you think or want your marriage to work, if so then you need to perhaps go to counseling if not then you let it go. Your husband isn’t going to tell you that he wants to be with his ex because after all she is his ex. She’s his ex for a reason and perhaps they’ve not gotten to the bottom of their old issues to re-develop or maintain the old relationship. It does sound as though they still have feelings for one another and if that is true then you need to start making arrangements to move on with your life. No matter how this turns out don’t let him or don’t even think for yourself that this is or was your fault. Your husband needed to be honest with you from day one and because he wasn’t you’re now in this situation. Best of luck to you. |
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Lil Margo
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omg, why did you marry him. |
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coronakidcacher
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I'd first recommend going to marriage counseling before even thinking about divorce. Be sure and tell him how much this ex-relationship is hurting your marriage and that it has to end or you will divorce him. |
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Just tellin' it like I see i
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Married men should not have have girl friends especially ex-girlfriends calling them. If he doesn't respect your wishes on not talking to her then its a sign that he still has feelings for her. Your his wife and should come first. Dump him! |
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rubberdollie
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if you married him then he should only love you.
divorce. |
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melbeemills
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Baggage like that is hard to get rid of.
You need to talk it through and let him know exactly how you feel.
Everyone will think about their ex's.....I've been married for 3 years too, and I still think about mine. And have dreams about them too. It's normal.
It's not fair to YOU that he's not over her completely, but it's not fair to him that you come on here to get suggestions on your marriage.
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celticbuddha
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i'm not even sure if it is him that can't let go to the past. it sounds more like it's her that can't let go and it's just dragging your husband back into it, time and time again. i'd suggest that he goes into counseling. see why exactly he allows his ex to keep calling and dragging him back into the past. otherwise start changing all the phone numbers! :o) |
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Tyler's Mom
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I believe it is completely inappropriate for a married man to have a relationship with his ex. That is ridiculous that he still talks with her. You need to let him know that you can't continue your marriage with him talking with her. If he refuses I say leave him. No good can come of him talking to an ex girlfriend. |
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Amanda C
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I think you already know what you have to do. Don't waste your life being second to an ex girlfriend. |
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Leila P
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Before you jump and do something you might regret later, you need to sort the cons and pros out. I would hate it if I made a mistake to divorce the man I really love. Just talk to him about his ex, and tell him he better get his act straight and tell his ex to stop calling the house. |
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Tess
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If you have children together no. If there are no kids then you might want to consider the marriage a mistake (you both made) and discuss dissolving it. |
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Mary
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well you should try to work it out. Check his call log to see if he has called her. and talk to him and tell him that you feel uncomfortable with him talking about this girl all the time. |
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butterfly92205
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You need to sit down and talk to your husband because this is totally disrespectful on so many levels. I am not sure if you knew this before hand and just hoped he would change or what but you need to make some decisions and quick. If he cares for his ex so much then why did he marry you and not her? Why do you stand by and let her call? I think that this has gone too far and if you dont get out soon you all will be in a happy marriage...together |
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?
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I'd ask him to stop talking to her and trust my instincts. If he didn't stop I would end the relationship. |
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εϊз αღỹ εϊз
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Why did you even marry him in the first place if this has been going on for 3 years?
Sounds to me like he is either cheating on you OR he cant let go. I think you should have a serious talk with him and tell him this HAS to stop or you WILL leave, and that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior. Tell him how it makes you feel and what you are speculating.
If that doesn;t work and you really love him then try a marriage counsler or maybe a seperation versus divorce.
I would truely make divorce the LAST option if it was me. |
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Sue B
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I'm a firm believer that, if kids are involved, they will be involved the rest of their lives! IF they don't have kids together, then I'd be thinking, I wasn't the only woman in his life and you should be.
I'd probably leave, because I'm not a strong enough person to share my husband |
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hmcarter25
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Yeah, I would get out of that marriage. Don't be mad at him and put all the blame on him though, just accept it and find you a man that adores you. |
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