Should I do anything? Wait? Press the issue with her?

tan0301

Move ON... If you really meant anything to her, she wouldn't have gotten married so fast. She regrets her decision and you are an easy out. Find you someone else. You deserve better.

Mytmel

For your own sake, I'd suggest you stop taking those calls.

When I'm trying to lose weight, you KNOW I don't hang around the Bakery or Pizza Parlour a whole lot.

Consider yourself on a Sanity Diet & avoid the She-Pizza, until and unless she becomes an available healthy option for you.

TwistedBlackVines

she needs to figure out what she wants/needs (they arent always the same thing) seems like she just wants the best of you both really. tell her she owes it to herself at least to leave the unhappy marraige wether or not she ends up with you...

Zaferus

I think you played it right, the best thing you can do is just cool your heels. If she is willing to get married to someone she knows she doesn't love it says a lot for her character. Maybe things worked out for the best who knows you could have been the other guy she feels she made the mistake with!

Mike

NO you can not press the issue more. She needs to make a decision on her own and she can not do that with you pressing the issue with her. Just do not contact her

Shrimpboat

let her go. she's a married women now

ncc742

I would say leave her alone...she is where she wants to be...no one forced her to marry they guy.

Kitty

Yes, you can do something else... FIND ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND.

elena_fitz

just leave her move on i have felt the same except i'm much younger andf they don't get married just let her be u'll probably find more woman in your life shes not the only woman out there trust me i'm in school and i know lots of ppl that date all the cute 8 uys in my class and thats just a class c wut i'm trying to tell u you'll find more woman

dmckinner

She needs to decide whats important in her life, she is very mixed up right now and doesnt need your pressure. Write her a letter that just basically says, I am here, and I love you, but you need to make some decisions, and no one but you can make them!

letterstoheather

it was relatively stupid of her to marry some guy on the rebound, wasn't it?

i can't blame you for being disgusted.

she made her nest, now she's laying in it.

sorry you're going through this mess.

HollywoodHousewifeâ™¥

DON'T press the issue!!! Gosh, this is a tough question for me to answer, but I really think that, if I can think of how to explain it, it could be helpful...
See, May 20, 2006, my highschool sweetheart and I broke up. We'd been together for 3 1/2 years. We'd been through SO much together and were best friends, bf/gf, expected to get married, the whole nine yards. We'd named our kids even! But we changed, our lives changed, the direction we each wanted our lives to go changed, and we ended up deciding to at least take a break until we really knew. Within a couple of weeks, I saw that I loved him, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us for us to get married. One of us would have to give up our dreams...they couldn't possibly coordinate.
A year and one month later I got married. Throughout the time that I dated my now-husband, I kept in touch with my ex. We'd call occasionally, message on Facebook, things like that. My now-husband knew we still talked, but knew it wasn't any threat to him. Then after awhile my ex quit talking to me. Finally I messaged him and asked what was up. He basically said he felt the way you feel...that was quite a moment for me. I knew I didn't want to be with my ex, but he was very special to me for SO long, and I still want him to be so happy! And come to find, I was still hurting him! I didn't doubt my marriage, but I felt bad for my ex. We had to agree to stop talking because (1) I was hurting him, and he needed some distance in order to let his feelings cool off, and (2) His feelings meant enough to me that, though it wasn't a threat to my marriage, it was a threat to my emotional commitment to my now-husband. Even pity can cause a woman to think and feel things she'll regret. If my ex had really pushed, he could have become a big problem between my husband and I, not because I would ever leave my husband, but because my pity and guilt would become an issue!
You love your ex...do what is best for her. It may take you some time for those feelings to cool a bit, and for all the wounds to heal, but don't become a threat to her marriage. If the marriage doesn't last, you DON'T want it to be because of you. If you were the cause, and then later you two ended up together, you would soon wonder if someone else could come between you two. If she divorces her husband, you do NOT want it to be because of you. If she is unhappy, she can figure out a solution on her own. But trust me - it needs to be on her own.

(If it makes any difference, my husband and I are 100% happily married, and talking about babies; my ex is now a part of a "up and coming" band. If we had stayed together, neither of those incredible things could have happened).

Good luck!

queenofcups31

No. Let it go. Start dating. Move on. If she doesn't make this decision well she may never be able to make a good decision. Move on. Your sickness will go away as time goes by.

Alissa

Move on. She just wants you to want her. She won't leave her husband

spaznskitz

the best thing you can do is if you do talk to her again, let her know she needs to get some mental help to figure out what she wants, and once she is right in the head and divorced if that is the route she chooses to go, to call you.

One thing you need to keep in mind, it could just be commitment that she has a problem with - and marrying you is just going to be jumping fromthe frying pan into the fire - and both of you will be miserable.

just me

You did the right thing to tell her not to contact you. PERIOD. She is married now. You may not think this, but you are far better off without someone who treats her committed relationships like a disposable diaper. You have to really ask yourself this one question, "could I possibly be happy with someone who put you through all this misery, and is willing to do the same to another man who she just committed her life to?" When the tears dry from your eyes, you will be able to see clearly. Give yourself some time to do some soul searching.
Good luck. I hope you find a woman truly worthy of your love.

Qyllix

Dont answer the phone when she calls, and dont cheat. but most importantly, dont cheat.

Evilish13

Let her be. Trust me i know its hard. However she needs to have a clear mind and make her own choices. she is not yours anymore. Let her be happy, get miserable and then maybe she will return to you. But leave her alone. Dont chase her as hard as that is. If your lives were ment to be together you will be re-joined later in life.

Shannon

leave her alone, and let her live her life, its confusing to both of you with you 2 still talking- why she got married is beyond me but she did, now she needs to live with her choice. Move on it will be easier to heal, if you omit her from your life completely

ronidl76

Dude, you've asked this question many, MANY times before. JUST ACCEPT THAT SHE MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE. IF SHE WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED ANOTHER MAN!

She really needs to grow up. This girl doesn't know what she wants, and since you still listen to her, she keeps talking. She loves the drama.

TennisLover

aww I am soo sorry. You sound like such a sweetheart. You did the right thing saying that you don't want her to call you unless she makes up her mind and decides that she wants a divorce. Her calling you is just making you feel worse and that is just not fair..... so if she tries to call you again you will have tell her once again and explain it to her. Tell her that this is not fair to you and it's certainly not fair to her current husband either. She needs to make up her mind and find out who she wants to be with....whether it is you, her current husband, or neither ASAP!!!!!! I hope everything works out for you. Just remember that everything happens for a reason and if it turns out that you don't get back together with her, it is because there is a special someone that is out there waiting to meet you. Good luck.

tranquilpsycho

Be there for her. That is the best thing you can do for her. Be there for her and support any decision she makes. It is going to be tough for you to do this, but do not encourage her divorce. Rather, encourage her to do what she feels is best.

Be her friend right now. She really needs a friend. Be to her what you want, but don't push her into or out of anything.

Best of luck

flyfish_777

Tell her to fix her marriage or get a divorce.

After that it is resolved tell her she is free to give you a call.

Now ignore her and move on with your life.

Getting involved with a married woman is wrong.

Good luck.

L J

Dude, what she is doing with you right now is the same thing she did with the currently married guy when the two of you were dating.

She is fruit cake and it is best if you let that one go. Else, you will spend your entire life with her running between both of the men, meaning you and the other guy.

Let it go.

candy'sroom

You were right to ask her not to call you unless she was getting a divorce. I'm sure it is making you crazy, but it would be far worse on you talking to her all of the time.
She needs to decide if she wants to be married to him. Not if she should have picked you over him. She needs to decide if she wants to end the marriage because of you or because she doesn't love this man.
You shouldn't promise her you'll be waiting for her if they divorce. Maybe the 2 of you could start dating again if the ended, or maybe you will meet the girl of your dreams tonight at the grocery store and whatever she does in her life won't matter to you.
I'm sure the marriage was a rebound thing. But it could take years for her to finally to decide what to do. You need to move on with your life.

Sam

Yes, back off and get a life. Nothing quite so pathetic as seeing a man wallow in self pity.

frawlicious

No, it would be up to her to make the next move. I do think that you would benefit from dating and seeing other people instead of moping over her. That way, other people will see what you have to offer and who knows, you could find the love of your life. I know that it is hard but you are going to have to let her go. If it is meant she'll come back. I wish you the best of luck!

floridaman39us

You can't do anything more until she decides what to do. She is married now. Interfering would be wrong for you to do. Tell her not to call unless she was officially divorced.

hnic_shannon

Baby, I wouldn't waste my time. It is apparent she isn't gonna leave her husband and she probably got married to make you jealous. I know you love her and I completely understand how hard it is to try to move on but that is what is gonna have to happen in order for you to live a happy life. She sounds manipulative and she doesn't care about you or her husband because she would have told you about her getting married and she wouldn't be calling you telling you she loves you when she is married. Let her go and let her look like the fool she is.

Wiser1

Well, you should NOT want to marry this woman! She doesn't even know what she wants, so she isn't sure she loves you, right? She has some growing up to do. My advice (sincerely), is that you should tell her you are going to move on. IF she ever gets a divorce, she should call you AFTER the divorce is final (not before, as you don't want to be the third party). Meantime, go out and date other women and try to get over this woman the best you can (don't talk to her or e-mail her or you won't be able to move on.)

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