Should I end contact with my "in-laws"?
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Should I end contact with my "in-laws"?
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I am a SAHM mom to a 3 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. My husband's family has been causing some stress in our life for sometime now and he seems to be ready to just "let them go". To be honest, I am relieved as they really provide me with nothing but stress at a time in my life where I need support. On the other hand, I want to put the needs of my children first and I think what would be best for them is to continue a relationship with my husband's two sisters.
My husband was raised by his sister from the age of 11 as his mother passed away at that time. She has argued with me over everything from not having a key/ garage code to our home to arguments over spanking my kids (she feels she should be able to spank them as she pleases). The last time I asked her not to spank the kids she became enraged and told my husband I am not allowed in her home and she will not see the kids in my presence. My husband told her that she will not be able to see the kids until she apologizes to me and agrees to accept the boundaries we set forth in our home. Please keep in mind she does not babysit, refuses to change diapers, and has no experience raising children (she has none of her own and is not married) and yet still critiques me as a mother and feels she knows best. The one time I left her with my son at her home (my husband was there too) she gave my 2 month old a tea to "cure" his cold after I had specifically asked her not too. My pediatrician informed me this could have ate threw his intestine because of the bacteria in it.
She is terribly stubborn and actually showed up at a restaurant when we were eating with the other sister knowing full well that she has not fulfilled the things we have requested in order to see the kids. Her other sister was not happy that we left the restaurant but we felt as though we had no choice. My husband's sister actually followed us to the car trying to hug the children after we asked her to please stay away. I know it's sounds harsh but we feel we have to stand our ground with her as she has truly been a bully for so long. On the day of my daughter's birth she was actually fighting with my husband on the phone while I was in labor because she wanted to come get our older son and I said no. The list of her being inconsiderate goes on and on. I am almost embarrassed of all the drama she has caused.
Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated - my husband says to ignore them and let it go - maybe I am too nice but I would like to see us (the adults) figure this out for the childrens' sake. I'm not sure what to do?????
Additional Details
SAHM mom = Stay at Home Mom
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Regan Cons
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You can't change another person and she is not going to change.
Either move away or get a restraining order if she does not leave you guy's alone.
She has no respect for boundries.
You have a strong husband be proud!!!!!!!!!!!
PS Protect your children from this sick-o. They don't need this in their lives. |
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Flower
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Get a restraining order.
She is whacked!! |
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dvnt1
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I would end contact. You've tried being reasonable and she is not willing to adhere to reason. Therefore, she has made her choice to not see the children.
If you continue to allow the madness to go on, you will be guilty of enabling her behavior and the problem won't go away, only become bigger.
If she wants to spend time with the kids/family then she needs to understand and respect your boundaries. |
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opinionated
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SAHM ??
not everyone can follow letters in a question |
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Heatherrrrrrrr
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If anyone laid a hand on my child they would draw back a stump for an arm. I wouldn't demand an apology and let it stress me out. I would simply not invite them over and not invite them to be around me. I would never allow my kids to be alone with her. If she wants to show up uninvited to give a hug that is fine. You don't have to act like a child by leaving the restaurant. Not a good example for the kids. What you show them in understanding and acceptance for fruitcakes. Truly this sister has issues. She must feel abandoned by her brother. Seems obvious with her need for drama and need for attention. Don't poke the bear. You should talk to her (all together) with a loving heart. We love you, we appreciate you etc. This is what we need from you and if you choose not to do it then you will not be welcome. We want you around, we love you. You must understand we will not tolerate anyone touching our children in a harmful way. |
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