Should I explain why I can't be his friend anymore?

lois c

Call him and explain that you want to save your marriage and hopes he respects you enough to abide by your wishes. Tell him you have been confused and plan on straightening things out. His presence confuses the issue and you need clarity. I strongly advise against a face to face talk because right now emotions seem to be running your life Rope them in girl.

MCA_<3

just stop talking to him no explanations needed, im sure hell know the reason

Heraclius

To cut him off with no explanation would be a heinous act in my opinion
There's nothing worse then having strong feelings for someone then have that person walk out of your life with no explanation as to why. You're left tearing your hair out trying to fill in the pieces of a jigsaw, which you can never do and end up just having to let it go
So by all means give him a reason why you have to end contact, as in you have to be faithful to your partner. When you have feelings for someone it's easier and thus better to have them out of your life so that's what has to happen to here
Make it clear there's no bad feelings or anything just that it's not right and this door has to close so you can both move on
But don't tell him these feelings you have are strong as you'll leave that door open and give him an excuse to keep the relationship alive. Men are too weak in my own opinion when it comes to emotions and he'll make any excuse to see you so you have to make it clear you need to go you're separate ways
Even a one off statement with no chance for him to have his say would be better than nothing as at least then he knows why this has to end
Not an easy thing to do and that's why most people just walk away without saying anything, so good luck

feistykiwi

Tell him that you respect the fact that you are both married and you don't want to pursue something that is not going to work. If however you feel like the two of you have already entered an emotional relationship beyond just being good friends, then I guess the best thing to do is tell him, that although you will miss the friendship it is harder to continue on just being friends when you are in love with him. I am sure he will understand and respect you for trying to end contact, but in the end I think honestly, you might even be together if the timing is right in the future.

Good Luck!

Ashley

no i think thats exactly what u need to say to him
tell him u have strong feelings for him and it might get stronger if u two keep talking. u need to stop being friends with him for the sake of ur marriage. tell him if he is a true friend he would understand that this isnt healthy for both marriages and u two need to stay away from each other.
if he doesnt feel the same he would agree on this
but if he feels something for u too this would be a problem cz he would continue to contact u and thats when ull need to be stronger than ever if u do love ur husband and this is just a mistake.

anderson

Keep a distance and ignore him.

Angie

No explaining needed - Just show him the wedding band - He know as you do that why the friendship needs to stop. Why can't people just have self control. Dang! sooo weak.

Grandma's Wisdom

if you both thought each other was the one then why didn't you just marry each other from jump.. instead of dragging to other people in to your web of games

Bear

He knows you have feelings and are married and keeps contacting you. That is not a real friend. He knows that your relationship with him is affecting your marriage (and that's exactly what it is if you love someone other than your spouse). Clearly he is getting off on your illicit feelings for him. This is not a mutual decision nor does he have any say in it, he does not have the right to say to a married woman who loves him that he will keep contacting her.

Change the last sentence: "...I know you want me to get over these feelings, so please respect my wishes for no contact in the future."

Instead say: "...I I am only married to one man--my husband. Our friendship is now over. I am resolving my feelings in the way I choose to be a wife, we will have no contact in the future. Call me again or contact me, and I will be talking to your wife. Because that means you do not respect me, my husband nor my marriage". Then put him on call block, home and cell. If he shows up at your door close it on him and tell your husband he is trying to seduce you (which is true). Deny your having feelings for him and simply say that he has said he has feelings for you (which is now true. He is putting himself ahead of you, your husband and your marriage...and trying to get you to do the same) and won't leave you alone .

This is not about being nice. It is about your marriage and your ending ties to him and he to your marriage. If you don't end ties to him, his actions will end your marriage

racerxfactor

if he loves you too then it's meant to be. it's a rarity to fall in love with your best friend.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: