Should I feel bad about hanging out with a guy friend when I am married?

Am's

I think your husband is just feeling left out. Try doing something just for the two of you to make him feel special too.

ridernc

If you have to ask the question . . . .

therese z

If it was the other way around, how would u feel? Even though there is no romantice feelings on your side, it might be a tiny bit innapropriate. Even though im sure your husband loves and trusts u, why aggravate it?

jimmy.parker06

Keep this platonic relationship limited to class and homework. Your husband has all right to be jealous and crabby if you take this relationship outside the class.

The abstract algebra is reason you to meet to do your homework, but what is the reason for jogging together. You may not have any intentions, but can you read this guys mind. Any man who loves his wife should feel a bit jealous if she spends time with another man. And you should take it as a compliment rather then criticism.

Owen E

Reverse the tables how would you like him hanging out with a female school chum and then spending time out of school with her then you will have your answer. Maybe it is time to find another female that is in your class to study with.

You are disrespecting your husband and the marriage.

momrfg2003

These things have the ability to develop and he is feeling threatened. Why not respect his feelings enough to find a female friend for help with algebra? You would want the same from him if the tables were turned.

Daisy.

You are going into unchartered territory dear. Who are you trying to fool. It is OK to have a study friend ( be respectful and study at home where your hubby is) but inviting him to go jogging?? that crosses a line especially when you know and do not care that it bothers your husband. What if the roles were reversed would you mind him jogging with a female co-worker. i would say you need a few lessons on what a marriage is suppose to be, and be careful your are most definantly giving your study buddy room to ponder your real feelings, which could secretly be your point, right??

christinagillick

I agree with the poster that says how would you feel.
You may know that there are no romantic feelings, but there is no way for your husband to know for sure. I'm sure he trusts you, but you're making it difficult. Even if he thinks you're just friends with that guy, he can be jealous that the time you spend studying, in class, jogging with another male, is time that you are not spending with him.
You need to decide if your husband or your guy friend is more important to you and do whatever it takes to make that person feel like number one in your life. If its your husband and you hanging out with another male makes him upset/unhappy, then you need to hang out with your friend less.

gladewalker69

He is feeling threatened, you should make sure he knows your his and his alone, I would be jealous if my wife started spending all her time with another man.

True

Even though you know this guy and know there is no attraction, your husband doesnâ€™t know him. He has every right to feel uncomfortable.

What you need to do is introduce this guy to your husband in a social setting. That way he can see how you interact and see that there is nothing going on. Then when you say Iâ€™m meeting John Doe to study, he knows who you are talking about and is cool with it.

Edit---

I canâ€™t believe people are saying that it is ok to have a study friend but not go jogging. Maybe Iâ€™m just modern but what do they think is going to happen? You donâ€™t fall in love with him while studying but the sweat from his forehead while jogging is going to make you fall deep in love? Please. I had study buddies that were also male (some female). We would go grab starbucks during breaks in class while we were not studying. I did that for the seven years of school (undergrad and grad) and never cheated or had anyone express interest.

If you can't trust yourself enough to go jogging with someone and not cheat or cross lines then you are WAY too immature to be in a relationship to begin with.

Jill C

Your actions themselves are not wrong as it is obvious you have no ill intentions. Try introducing your friend to your husband. Keep your husband involved. Its normal for him to feel a bit jealous. Reassure him you only have feelings for him. Put yourself in his place.

Still, if the relationship bothers your husband, I would hope you would discontinue the relationship, even if you feel your husband is being rediculous, out of respect for your husband's feelings.

Hey Hey MaMa

Ya know what? If you get that nagging feeling then you should probably pay attention to it. It may not be "wrong", but is it the right thing to do?

Cris

well if it bothers your husband you might just want to keep it strictly study buddies!!

RANDY

Yes, Unless hes gay hes thinking about sleeping with you. We all do and anyone who says they don't is in denial. I have no female friends close enough to hang out with and it would tick me off if my wife had male friend like that. If you want to hang out with a guy then you should take your husband along.

Jane Marple

No you are not doing anything wrong. My husband was an air plane mechanic and in his team there was one female mechanic. They worked all day together, they had lunch together and I heard a lot about <Michelle> at home and it didn't bother me....you know why? cause I knew I was the only one for my husband, I was that much convinced of his commitment to me. They had a nice <work related> friendship, at night he was home being a husband and a dad.

What was I gonna say?....I don't want you to have a female in your team......I don't want you to have lunch in a cafeteria with a female......I don't want you to have someone to relate to at work that is female. Nah, I'm above all that.

SuChaMaJ0rH0tti3

noO... its always good to have friends...unless ur husband gets annoyed about it and wants u stop then isuggest u should.

mrsjuju

well would you get jealous if your husband was hanging out with another woman allot other than you?? if not then i think if you truly have no feelings for this guy and your just classmate Friends then reassure your husband that you are just that Friends and nothing more good luck

tom_gpp

You definitely have to look at it from his point of view! How would you feel of the roles were reversed? You need to curb it, it is getting too close.

well how will you feel if he brings his platonic girl friend for some office work at home and goes shopping with her and for a movie. You will get jealous and annoyed, dont you?
May be the relationship is platonic for u and not for ur platonic friend and ur hubby can feel/sense it, and u r innocent to find it.

Itrolla

JustAskin

I don't think you are doing anything morally or spiritually wrong. I think, though, that you might be making your husband feel left out, and perhaps jealous. I don't think you should do that and that's what might be wrong. You should be very in tune to what he's feeling (seems you are, since you are asking) and you should address his feelings where they are.

He is your one and only. He wants you to be his one and only. Of course he's jealous! I would be too. It doesn't mean you are wrong for enjoying the other guy the way you are. But it could be wrong to ignore your husband and to knowingly make his good moods go sour.

I suggest you make it very, very clear to your husband that HE is the man of your dreams and the one you want to be with forever. If that means you don't go running with the other guy, that's what it means. Get your studying done, but I even suggest you do that at home, when hubby is there if possible. Your husband needs you and needs to know you are there for him. Just like if the situation were reversed, you would need to know he's there for you and not spending time with another woman.

jina

It seems to me that you think it's harmless what you're doing because it's not like you have any kinds of feelings towards this guy friend. But then have you ever asked yourself...or have you ever thought of what this guy friend thinks about you? What if he was interested in you..? In situations like this you have to make sure that both parties fully understand what kind of relationship they are open to share. Wouldn't you feel a little aggravated and jealous if your husband was doing the same to you but thought it was harmless? To smooth this over...you should invite your husband to jog too....or introduce them to each other...since he's just a friend it shouldn't matter. As for boosting up your husbands security...you should do something sweet and surprise him...just to let him know that you love him and that he's all you ever think about. Then he'll definitely forgive you..and think that he was being silly. Good luck!

CINDY J

Since it is affecting your husband than it may lead to repercussions that will be negative. Even though you feel very comfortable with the situation it doesn't sound like your husband does. Ask yourself if you are prepaired to share your husbands time with a female co-worker of his, cause eventually that will probably happen. What's good for the goose.....may rear it's ugly head. If you want to keep both guys happy than the best suggestion would be for the two of them to become friends. Invite your buddy (and a female date) over for dinner and let them get to know one another.
After that your husband will either really like the guy and the three of you can jog together or he'll tell you to stay away from the guy altogether.

lovingme4me

only if you are attracted to him, then no

carriegreen13

Yeh, and do you blame your husband for feeling this way, don't you think your husband knows some things to help you with your homework also??? Why do you need this man, when you got your husband???

Yes, you are, number one, hello, you are married, number two, you should be doing all of this stuff with your husband and not your "study buddy".

Your husband should be all of these things and more, why do you need another man to help you with your math, you are married now, you are not in college or living on your own anymore.

I think you should apologize to your husband and stop with your "study buddy" and ask your husband to go jogging, and also be your "study buddy" ten to one, he will have more fun being involved in all the aspects of your school life and your health life, exercising as a couple is wonderful and bonding!!!!

somebody's somebody

Depends on whether you think its wrong.... Try doing something to include hubby, see if it helps

jimrich

google: coping with jealousy or with a jealous spouse

I wouldn't do things that bother my wife but then, my wife has very solid/high self esteem and would not easily be jealous or unhappy with my actions.

Violation Valerie X

I am of the opinion that one should NEVER do ANYTHING that would make their partner feel uncomfortable.

And in my house, this situation would never fly- for either of us!

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