Should I leave him or try to make it work?

I been with my husband for 8 years married 3 and we have a beautiful baby together. I'm starting to get and the end of my rope with him. He never remembers a holiday. Before I had the baby I worked full time at a very stressful job, he would have time off and I would come home to the house a mess. I almost died giving birth and could the man even get me flowers, help around the house when I got out of the hospital..nope! He never wants to spend time with the family, fishing and hunting is more important. There is renovations that need to be done to the house (not cosmetic, serious things like drafty doors) that has gone undone for 3 years, but he will help a buddy fix something any day of the week. On our wedding day he never even told me he loved me and got drunk at the reception. Sometimes I feel alone at all this, just like a single parent because he is never around. I've stressed my concerns to him, and I got how sorry he is and how he will try to make everything right and he never does. I try to leave so many times but he keeps giving me these empty promises that keep me lingering. I don't know what to do anymore? Am I picking on petty things and just leave it alone and stay, or should I leave?

Cabbie Luvr

When a man loves you, his behaviors towards you mean more than his words do. Does he provide well for the family? Does he protect the family from emotional or physical harm? Does he contribute in any way, shape or form? Is he there physically, but not emotionally?

Some men alienate themselves when they want to get away from a relationship and instead of facing the trouble and dealing with it, they create so many problems the woman is forced into ending it.

Maybe the two of you would benefit from counseling.

livedtotelltale

Let him know that you are serious--either he makes the changes that are needed and possibly goes to marriage counseling with you or you and the baby are gone. Do you want your child to grow up thinking that being alone in a marriage is ok, or that it's ok to treat your spouse like they're insignificant and drive them away? I know how hard it is in marriage--my husband and I are having lots of problems, but we are trying to work together to get through them. If it all goes south, at least we tried, really tried to make it work.

towanda

Sounds like you are just wanting a supportive husband. There are lots of husbands that think a wife is there to feed, cloth, raise the kids and keep the house clean while they go out and do whatever. Try finding someone to talk to that can give you some positive ideas and I suggest a marriage counselor if you can afford it. If not, look around for free counselors like a minister or a priest. You often don't need to even go to their church to get help. I'm sure there are organizations around that will offer support for your situation. Try everything to get him to keep his promises and be the father and husband you desire. You have the right to have a very happy life. I can't suggest you leave but as a very last choice. . .

honest girl!

If your husband couldn't even be bothered to show you love on your wedding day then in all honesty I wouldn't have gone through with it. A good and decent husband would not think twice about knowing how to treat their wife with the utmost love and respect.

Its obvious that he's taking you for a complete mug,and its down to you whether you want to stay married to a selfish moron who's priority doesn't involve you and the baby.

Bogey

Looks as though he was that way before you married him and you expect the man to change just because you want him to. It's never going to happen just because you married or had a baby or anything else. Only you know what you need to do-but he will never change-sorry!

Ember Halo

how many times has he let you down?
do you trust him to be there for you & the family?
do you feel that he has the best interest of the family at heart?

if the answers to the above are negative, then i'd say leave him.
the issue here isn't petty--it's about trust & dependability; security & love. not petty at all.

brina1977

leave! just like you say he gives you empty promises to get u to stay he probaly thinks you saying u are gonna leave is an empty threat so he doesn't change. if you leave itmay actually get him to change and save your marriage.

vhershie

wow. i really disagree with future ML...

ummmmmm wow your husband sounds really bad. such an emotional disconnect is not a good environment for your baby. is he a good father? you said he never even spends much time with you guys...

Debbie

I think you should just leave and see what happens, he will know you mean business.

Truth be told you should leave .
That kind of relationship is gonna be over eventually

AbbieRey

i think you should always try to make it work or else you will regret it for the rest of your life...and just remember that you can only change yourself...if he doesnt want to make any changes then there is nothing you can do :)

j2dak86

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buk84

the thing is, i'm sure he was like this before you got married. so shame on you for sticking with it. people don't suddenly change. you never should have married him in the first place, i say counseling (i'm sure he wouldn't agree to go) or divorce. i think divorce is the healthiest option for you and your child. do you want your baby to grow up learning this behavior? bc that's how it happens.

THE BEST

serious home improvements that involve drafty doors...bad for the baby...are not petty things. how could he care about you and your baby's well being when he'll help a buddy first? he's bull crapping you with empty promises....he's letting you be the responsible one.....you'd be better off just you and your baby.....he probably doesn't spend much time with your baby does he?......that's not fair to the baby....he or she will be picking up the slack one day around the house.....give him a date....and see what he does to shape up by then ...if nothing....stick to your date...and leaqve...quit wasting time from your life with him.....give 100% to your baby.....he's a loser to put it bluntly and he's taking advantage of your and your responsibility and mooching off of your long suffering dedication...give him a date...and mean it.

jerryjjjj_2000

no look me up i will take care of you

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