Should I let my husband sleep?

adc7492

my hubby also works 12 hr night shifts....I have the same problem you are having!!!
deep down I tell myself,he isnt ignoring me,he isnt being mean,it is not personal,he is just worn out.....
we also have children,and I feel like he doesnt want to spend time with them.....and when he does,he is tired so he gets angry easier than he usually would if well rested.
what Ive tried to do is on his days off,wich are few n far between,let him sleep about four hours,then wake him up,we eat lunch with the kids,and play for 2 hours or so,then he goes back to sleep for another 3 hours if he wants to...sometimes if he has 2 days off in a row,I let my parents keep the kids for a few hours so me n him can talk or cuddle n watch a flick etc.......
it is hard!and I get mad too and yes i get mad at him,I justify my anger and pain by sayin HE took the job,he works the hours...ergo..his fault?!
when he is really trying to make a life for his family.
Im NOT knocking you,I feel EXACTLY the same way you do,it is hard to seperate feelings from facts or truth sometimes...you just BOTH have to juggle and make some sleep sacrafices,or maybe rework your hours if possible? get off an hour or 2 earlier? if its not possible,sit down together when he is rested and tell him how you feel and see what you can agree on,to get time for your family,thats what we eventually did and came up with the split sleep on some days!
GOOD LUCK

Mary S

leave him alone, he's exhausted, i'm sure he doesn't
mean to make you sad or hurt, but cut him a break. enjoy
your time with him when he is home and awake.

DisneyLover

Maybe a little.
But, be considerate of him as well.
It does sound as though he has been working very hard!

Sheepdog

Woman, let the man get some rest. Please.

He'll be far more pleasant once he's well rested.

alwaysmoose

Unless you're waking him up with a tasty meal or a BJ you better just let him sleep.

Joseph

Let him rest, and catch up on his sleep. 12 hour work days, 7 days a week can really cause someone to get stressed out. He isn't sleeping to hurt your feelings ... he is sleeping because he has been working a lot, and his body needs rest. Wouldn't you be mad if you were working the same amount of hours, and he woke you up?

They hours are just temporary right? I'm sure he will be back to regular hours soon.

Truth Teller

He has worked 19, 12 hour days and u want to know if its ok that hes asleep and not spending time with u?
Hun, u better be glad u have a man who even works.
There will be other days for u to spend with him. One more day isnt gonna make a difference.
Perhaps u should consider changing shifts if u can.
Be glad u have a hubby who takes care of his family.
Dont wake him. Take a day off work and spend it with him if u need some time.
Good luck to u.

winter wonderland

you can't blame him for wanting some sleep. Life will calm down and I'm sure he would rather spend time with you then work so hard. Give him a break and maybe you two can start leaving note for each other for communication

braindancing52

You don't like the situation. You do something about it. Take a couple of hours off your job and be there when he wakes up.
Count your blessings that your husband has a job and goes to it.
Be the kind of woman your husband wants to spend time with.
Stop being annoyed/ angry/sad = pouting/complaining/bore.
Try laughter/hugs/kisses and your son will benefit too.

The French Connection

for goodness sakes, doll, no, you are not justified. he is doing his part for his family - not out drinking and sleeping around is he....?
i would want to KILL someone if i worked 19 straight 12 hour days - let the man sleep- it's not that he doesn't want to be with your son and yourself, he just needs to wake up first.

jesse p

It's really not his fault hes been working like that. You should let him sleep. You should be happy. hes making lots of money.

tommysbaby_princess

Honey he deserves his sleep. You might want to rethink the situation and understand how he feels right now. You can always sleep later. You need to understand how his body and mind feels and understand that he needs to sleep to continue doing his job and supporting your family. Make a sacrifice for him and wake up a little early or go to bed a little later.

thresher

Your justified to be angry,hurt.However,just be diplomatic and be careful how and what you say.The angrier you get the more defensive he gets and only escalates.See if he can get a couple odf days off.Maybe you.

Shenj Girl

Test him first, rub on him to see if he's interested, if not, kiss him and say "I love you" and hold him while he rests.

SouthrnBelle

I know how you feel , but you really shouldn't be mad at him. Does he work 12 on and 12 off? If he does then let him rest. He's dead tired and he won't be of any use to you or your child if he doesn't rest! It's not that he doesn't want to spend time with ya'll,his body's just worn down. those are some long hours! I couldn't do it.If he has to go to work the next day then what he needs to do is take some time off to spend with you! It sounds like you both need a Vacation! Try not to get too mad at him though, just remember he loves you both or he wouldn't be working his butt off! Good Luck!!

Kat

let the poor guy sleep, gosh

Melody-Lynn

Let him sleep because if you wake him he'll be very cranky you have to remember he pulled in alot of hours and he is really exhausted Do not feel bad I know you haven't seen him in 20 days think of it this way at least you get to wake up with him in the morning or if he wakes up sooner he'll spend time with you then Let him sleep and get refreshed.

xofortneyxo

it's kinda the same with my dad,but your husband is tired of working so much so just let him sleep and he might get up in a while.

sweet pea

Sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. My husband works like a dog. He works at 3 a.m., or at 10 p.m., with a nap in between, all in the same day. The next time he goes to work is 1:30 a.m. Sunday night/Monday morning. He works, works, works all the time. I let him sleep when he sleeps & try not to disturb him when he sleeps.

However, if your hubby has been sleeping for 12 hours (not sure your time zone) - it's time to wake him up (nicely) by snuggling next to him & let him know how much you & your son love & miss him & want to spend some time with him. Make him some food - he'll be hungry & probably receptive to that. Get your son to bed & then spend "alone time" - if you know what I mean - just try to reconnect with your hubby when you can.

Michael JENKINS

Be kind and allow him rest. Apparently he is in need. He'll wake out of it when the snow work lets him and he is able to be more affectonate with you and be there for your son. It's a hard world to live in but haveing a true friend to help makes allot of difference. he will remeber that you let him rest and trully appresieate it.

spoiltrini

I understand how you feel but your husband is working hard to provide for himself and his family. There are many men who are dead beat dad's and refuse to earn a living, you are fortunate to have a man who is working to support his family. It is really easy to have feelings of resentment and anger, looking at the negatives is always easier than looking at the positives, what would you prefer? That he not work? or after working go hang out with the boys, he may not be awake but he is at home with you and your son. I don't think that he doesn't want to spend time with you, he is just tired. Maybe you two need to sit down and set some boundaries, make an effort to find some time to spend together and there maybe a need for compromise. For right now, allow him to get the rest he needs and find an opportunity when you can sit down wtih him to have a conversation about the way you feel before it gets worst in terms of your feelings of anger and resentment.
Good luck

Surely Funke

It's understandable that you feel upset. It's also understandable that he wants his sleep and feels like he's deserved it. This job situation seems to be taking a toll on both of you -- is there any way to change it?

mlock123

Let the man sleep, he is tired. Be happy that you have a man who works to take care of his family. I am sure these hours wont last forever. You need to be patient and let him have his needs right now. When he is rested he will spend time with you. You know he loves you, so just be patient. He does it all for you both.

Tough Love Mommy

Not if you haven't talked with him about the situation first. Stay up a little so that you can talk to him when he wakes up. Maybe you can set up a schedule where you both give and take a bit and get to see each other. You may both loose a bit of sleep, but in the long run, you'll not regret it.

It is nice that he is dedicated to his work and is working so hard to take care of his family.

Anthony

no your not

Suthern Yankee

You're hurt and angry, what it really is....resentful. Are you justified? Meaning, you have the right to be angry? Well, no one can tell you that you can't feel this way.

I was in one of those too, more than a few times, with 3 young boys, it's NOT that he doesn't want to spend time with you or your son, but his sleeping habits are screwed up/set. You are taking care of your son, working, probably keeping the house going, am I right? Cleaning, paying bills?

Even though he's doing it to keep that roof over all of your head's, bills paid, contributing financially to your household, he's not waking up earlier to spend quality time as a family with you and your son.

Yes, he's tired and yes, you're not justified, he's helping you, but you need to talk to him about this soon. Wake him up for a talk, one day where he doesn't get his full beauty rest, will not hurt him and maybe it's the push he needs to get up earlier to have that time with you guys, you need to tell him before that resentment gets criticial.

Good luck!

bikinibabewannabe

let him sleep

Katetrinity

NO, you are not justified in being anything. How could you feel that way after he put in all those hours for you and his son? It is not that he doesn't want to spend time with you, but you can only go so long without sleep. I would let him sleep until he woke up and then I would jump his bones for him. Then get your son and go out to breakfast.

Please don't be mad at the poor guy. He could turn down all that work. He could be out in a bar chasing other women. You are "annoyed, angry and sad?" I don't understand that. Think of how much money he has made and that might make you feel a bit better..................Give the guy a break and make sure he is covered up and warm.

I'm a housewife and mother with a husband who works second shift, and it's hard when you are on a first shift schedule due to school. I feel the same way at times!

Try to be understanding...he's trying to make money to help out. Hopefully whenever he has a day off he can spend it with you and your son, but don't be surprised if he just wants to lay around the house first day off he gets.

justclicktherubyslippers

Resentment is not comfortable, so you need to have a long talk about your feelings. Perhaps his job is not suitable for having a family? Waking him up tonight when he must need more sleep (or he would be up) is not the answer in my opinion. 12 hr shifts are terrible for a long stretch. He must be exhausted.........is his job worth your relationship? Time to make some serious decisions

berry

Quit your job. Do you really need so much money?

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