Should I return to my husband after he abused me?

kavt1977

very shame nine eight three zero four two zero three seven zero

jude

unless he got some anger management, or some therapy it probably would not be a wise decision to go back with him. talk is cheap and means nothing unless he can show u by his behavior. time will tell, but don't be in too much of a hurry to go back to him until u know for sure he has changed.

Cathy

He says he'll die without you? I'd start planning his funeral. Better his than yours. You go back to him, eventually someone WILL be planning yours.

Sancho

The worse thing you can do is take him back. If you do that, the abuse will only get worse. My friend was killed by her boyfriend on one of his power trips.

suzieq

As someone who went back to an abuser - don't do it. You're codependent on him because of the abuse and leaving him will be so hard. But believe me, if you go back it will be worse. I went back only for him to abuse me more and eventually humiliate me and leave me with nothing. It is all about control and power. Sometimes the best way you can love someone is to love them from a distance and pray for them. You're only enabling the behavior if you go back. If you stay, you will continue to lose your confidence and feel worse.

If you absolutely are determined to go back, do not just let him have things the way they were. Make him attend anger management courses and do not move in with him. If he is willing to do this and make real sacrifice over the course of a year, then I would say you could possibly have a chance. But I still wouldn't do it...

DianeP

No...."fool me once, shame on you....fool me twice, shame on me"
I have been there and it never works out, even the second time. And it teaches him that you are willing to accept his abuse and behavior.

Spindrift

He is a liar, he does not love you he wants you back because he misses his victim and the joy he had in abusing you. If you take him back he will get much worse and you will end up getting hurt very badly or worse. Stay AWAY from him and if he says he will "die" without you, good! Let him die? He is being dramatic and believe me, he will not die he will eventually find a new victim.

I Love 007

No! unless he has successfully completed anger management or some type of counseling and you are certain he has made an effort to keep the temper under control.

Most importantly - Do you trust him?

if ur gonna b a frend b a good 1

NO-as they say, a tiger doesn't change their stripes they can only camouflage them...for a while...

Courtney F

Those words that he speaks are very typical of an abuser. It is naturally his nature to be nasty and abusive. How could have not known he was hurting you. If he says he doesn't want anyone else, it is probably because he can't find anyone else to intimidate and take advantage of, and he needs some one like that. Yes, he will hurt you again. Because this is what he does, and if it is not you, then he will move on to the next one. Trust your instinct. And maybe he is the only man you have loved, but there are 3 billion men out there, and most of them are not abusive and quite capable of loving you back. Continue with your divorce if there is something else needed to do, but I would tell him that you are going to consider your options a little while longer, like another 2 months. You have gotten out of there safely, lots of woman don't.

mel

No please don't go back,you did a great thing in leaving that marriage and you should never return to it.

Saying things like he would die without you is a prime example of how unstable this man is.

iren c

Don't be a stupid *****!
He will never understand how much he hurt you because as soon as you get back to him, he knows he can do whatever he wants and I give him a month to revert back to his old ways. You can find true love with someone that values you and really loves you. A man that is in love will do anything for her, a normal person will not even think about hitting a woman let alone one he supposedly "loves." He'll get over you, because he'll find another woman to abuse, and trust me he's not going to die if you're not with him, he'll be angry that you ddin't go back to him but he won't die.
Please don't do anyhing stupid, you deserve so much more, the worst thing you could do is fall into a viscious circle of going back to him, being abused, leaving and doing it all over.

Yes, don't take him back! Guys who are abusive in this way will say anything to win back their women. They believe that they really are sorry, but their abusive behavior stems from their mindset. Their perception of women has not changed. When their anger is triggered (by the least little unexpected thing), their instincts take over again and the old abuser comes back out.

If he has changed, great, but it's far too great of a risk for you to take. For your own safety and mental health, DROP ALL CONTACT WITH HIM!!!

Pete Rock

Do not go back to him. You really need to understand that men try everything they can to win the girl back .Everything! From being super nice to understanding out of no where. It's all a big lie. He has not changed, give him some time to really think about what he has done.

shou yan

My husband is an abusive man. He had been married in 5 times in his life. I'm the number 6 wives. I left him because he always blame me for everything that i did wrong and he had been abuse me in verbally and physically. After I left him the first time, he called me and he want me back so my heart received him and I went back to him but after I came back to him and he hurt me again. He punched my lip. My lip was bleed. I left him again because I think he don't care me in no matter what I will do for him. Abuse man is a selfish man, he don't care what his lover to for him and he will not be happy in matter what.

Empress

I have been married for 3 years, together off and on 10yrs. My husband is a very abusive man verbally and physically.He has recently cheated on me, with a woman I considered( as trash). We have four girls together 1 who is 11, (stepdaughter) he 's practically raised. And triplets that's 6 yrs. that are his. I put him out 3 weeks ago, because he did'nt come home to the next day. i don't won't to sound stupid, but I still love him. He calls me names like your dumb, stupid,bi**,H**, I have always been faithful to him, tried to be the perfect wife. When he's not being abusive, he wonderful. in the back of my mind Im thinking that maybe he will get better. My question is should I jus I try to save my marriage r go through with a divorce?

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