Should I stay or should he go?
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Should I stay or should he go?
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I just turned 31, so I'm still feeling that sting of regretting all the things I didn't do in my twenties....most notably, getting married and having kids. I really want that in my future, but I'm starting to feel like my life's course may be heading in the wrong direction.
I started dating this boy back when we were 18. We were certainly still kids and too young to marry. We broke up after 4 years and remained friends. CLOSE friends. His family practically adopted me and to this day they are my family that I spend every holiday, weekend, and vacation with. People are always asking why we're not married (some seem to beleive that we are)...I have no answer.
Four years ago, we got back together with the intention of getting married. We promised we wouldn't get back together unless it was forever. Two weeks later, he moved into my house (though I was very hesitant) and one week after that he quit his job and never bothered to look for another. After a year of supporting him, I reluctantly had to break things off because I realized I was not marrying a man - he was just still a boy and not ready for marriage.
Jobless, I offered for him to rent the spare room in my house until he got on his feet. He was still my best friend so I wasn't going to just throw him to the wolves. Miraculously, the next month he found a job, rent was paid, all was good.
He's been my "roommate" now for 3 years. Neither of us has ever dated anyone else. We basically live like we're married, but live in seperate rooms. He has really matured a lot too and I can say he's definitely grown into a great man.
I really want to move on with my life - one way or another, either towards him or onto the next chapter. I asked him to move out so I could start moving on, he agreed, but it's been a year! Now he just jokes he's just gonna marry me so he doesn't have to move!
I need advice...I would absolutely marry him, but I feel like he doesn't really want to be with me or he would be already. It's like he doesn't want me but he doesn't want anyone else to have me. It's my house so I can't just get up and leave myself. I know we have what it takes to be together, but I'm not going to force him to commit to me. Can anyone offer advice or whether I should wait it out or move on for good?
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DrDontheTermiteGuy
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I think you would be able to move on better if you can broaden your horizons. Though I'd kick him out in a second, it may be better for you to also go out exploring. If regrets are weighing you down, cast them off and go do something else for a while. Go see the world, there's an awful lot of it out there. Take a chance while you're still young enough to enjoy it. |
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Ashley
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To be honest it sounds like he is using you. I have been in this type of situation before! To me if a man truly wants to be with you, shouldn't he be proving it. Us women work so hard to show a man how bad we 'want' them...yet men don't work as hard as we do...at least not the ones we happen to get attracted to! It sounds like in the past he was attracted to you because you to were young and didn't know what you really wanted. Now that he is older he might be comfortable with just being your 'roommate' especially if he is being your roommate plus best friend with benefits. NEVER say a man isn't seeing other women, just as sneaky as we are...so are they! If a man truly wants to be with another women.....he will! |
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lady_phoenix39
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If he wanted to marry you, he would have done it already....he wouldn't just JOKE about it.
Get out on your own. |
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Crystal
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do what your intuition tells you if tou want to go on wiith your life go on theres no one telling you that you got to do something that you dont feel comfortable doing but first thing is get him out of your house give him a 30 day notice to evict him and let him go on with his life.... |
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Mainmaster
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Tell him he has two choices. One, if he truly loves you to marry you. Two, if he doesn't truly love you to move out so you can live your own life. If he doesn't pick any of them, then tell him he has a week to find another place, so you can move on with your own life. |
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:Sheila:
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I agree with the first answer, but if you have strong doubts about that, then you should talk to him. This is your life we're talking about here!! One conversation could make all the difference. Talk it all out, everything you said here, your desires, and hear him out. If he seems lukewarm you will have your closure and your answer. |
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mr pickle
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He has got a good thing going while you suffer your life away. There is someone else for you, I know. Give him 30 days notice and do not buy into anymore of his antics. I am sure he is a great guy, just not for you. |
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Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
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