Should I stick it out and see what happens or should I move on?? Would love a woman's opinion.?

Ok long story short: I've been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half. 4 weeks ago I went for a surprise visit on my girlfriend's sons's bday. She didn't know I was coming and was forced to tell me she was seeing someone else for the last 30 days or so when I got there. She is bi polar and hasn't been taking her meds for a few months. I know her being bi polar isn't an excuse but I do belive that her not taking her meds may have lead to her making the choice she made without regard for the potential consequences. I've supported her finacially so she really depended on me for pretty much everything. That's why it makes sense to me about her meds.

I still don't know where her head and more importantly her heart is at. But I also don't think its a good time to pressure her for these answers because she is not in her normal state of mind. I still love her and want to work through this but not if she doesn't love me anymore. What should I do? How should I approach this? I need a different prespective or different way of looking at this whole situation. Any advice or suggesstions are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Summer

Ask yourself how she really feels about you, she didn't invite you to spend time with her son on his birthday, which means that she doesn't take you seriously, I understand that she is not right without her meds, but if she doesn't continue to take her medication, then the only people other than herself who will suffer will be you and her son, you can't really do anything for her son, because he will be with her because he has to be, unlike you you can save your heart and move on. I would suggest to do that otherwise you will live in an unfulfilled relationship where you are going to be wondering whether or not she is seeing other people, whether she is truly happy, or what. I hope this helps somehow, good luck!

Jery E

you are a loser and a doormat. i love it when guys like you get taken advantage of and then look all dumb and cant figure out why the psychos they are paying for cheat on you. bi polar? another excuse for loser and crappy life.

honest girl!

So let me get this straight. Your girlfriend who has bipolar is conveniently in a relationship with someone else and failed to tell you only when you got there?

She's NOT into you and maybe you need to find someone on the same page, rather than someone who uses their illness as an excuse to run rings around you..

sarah

Being Bi Polar is giving her an excuse to use you. You want to believe that she cares about you. But if she did, she wouldn't be seeing someone else. She's taking your money. Don't support her anymore and see where it goes from there. If she wants to end it, I guess you know where her heart is.

delicata411

I really think you need to move on. You have let a woman depend on you while seeing another man at the same time. If you hadn't made that surprise visit she would still be depending on you and seeing that man. My sister is also bipolar, and i know how it works. Although it can alter your judgment, the fact that your gf thought hard enough to hide a relationship from you while still taking your money speaks volumes for her sanity. She knows what she is doing. I know you love her and its a hard decision to make. NO matter what anyone else in YA or in person tells you the decision is ultimately yours. You have to do whats right for you. I wish you the best of luck!

Eva82

It is hard to be with somebody who is bipolar because until they see the need to take their medication they cannot get "better". I had a friend who was like this...she slept with tons of men, ran her credit up, and got evicted from her apartment. Sadly, after many years, I couldn't handle her 4am calls and crying on my shoulder every time I saw her so I just stopped talking to her.

If you think you can handle her...then try. If you think you can change her...don't count on it. She has to see that she needs to take her meds before she can straighten out. I would definitely tell her that you care and want to take care of her but cannot unless she tries just as hard as you are to be in the relationship.

Don't let her get off so easy with the new boyfriend. Bi polars are not "schizophrenic" or have MPD...they can control a lot of themselves if they try.

lady_phoenix39

Move on. A "long distance relationship" isn't really a relationship at all

Sunshine

Well, any relationship that is long distant is hard to follow. It seems like it's a very difficult situation since she is bi polar. That's doesn't mean she doesn't know what she's doing. To be honest I would wait until she is in her state of mind but don't expect it to be like you want it to be. If you say she was force to tell you about her other relationship when you just got there, there is a problem. I would talk with her when she's in her normal state of mind and see from there. Good Luck!

Lprod

I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but if you continue to let this woman abuse you then you deserve it. I totally agree with delicata, bipolar people are sick but they KNOW what they're doing, they're not out of their mind or out of reality.... their decisions are 100% conscious, they can have severe mood swings, outbursts, but having a relationship with 2 men, one of which sustains her financially...?? It looks like she's smart and KNOWS very well what she's doing. I bet she didn't like the surprise visit, because now she's been exposed. I think that, regardless of where her head is, we already know that her heart is NOT with you, otherwise she wouldn't have been fooling around especially knowing that she depended on you and at least owed you some loyalty. Hopefully next time you'll think twice before offering to sustain someone who is far away from you and whom you don't really know that well after all. Hope you make the best decision for YOU.

amare

You need to move on. She is just using you!

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