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JADE D
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Some things are better left unsaid. But you can't take back the past..only move forward and do the right thing from here on. If you felt neglected enough to have an affair in the first place, I doubt the "one time affair" will keep you from feeling neglected in the future with your husband. The problem is not resolved by having affairs, if being neglected is a problem in your marriage, then, you need to voice this to your husband and be ready with some real solutions that would help you NOT to feel so neglected by him. My husband and I lead very busy lives, he travels with his job as I do and we also have two young boys...so, we both tend to feel neglected...what we have done is to schedule time for one another...something you would have to do if you continued on with an affair...doesn't it make more sense to schedule time with your husband? If you are no longer attracted to or feel like you want to spend more time with your husband, then, maybe the neglect you feel isn't coming from him, rather you need to re-analyze your own feelings for your husband. |
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Paige
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Telling him will only make YOU feel better. If it isnt' going to happen again, keep it to yourself. You'll only hurt him. |
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H
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Take that secret to the grave |
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TheKid
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not unless you want to get divorced...dont do it again |
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Violet Pearl
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Keep your mouth shut unless you have a deep need to destroy your marriage. |
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Jodi C
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Do NOT tell. It will make everything bad. |
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Lucinda M
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Well sometimes things are better left unsaid. I am for honesty however between a husband and wife. Apparently, you cheated on your husband due to emotional issues between the two of you. If anything your husband needs to be made aware of the problem with providing for you emotionally. I am totally against cheating on a spouse and I think you should have tried getting help for your marriage. If getting help didn't change anything then file for a divorce and then start playing around with other men. Are you still hanging out with this couple? How can you look the wife of the guy you cheated with in the face and be her friend after what you have done with her husband? I think whether you decide to tell your husband or not out of respect for your husband and the wife of the guy you cheated with you should stop contact all together with this couple. |
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Jo
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Do you really want to stay with your husband? Telling him is only going to make you feel better. You have to get your **** together and keep it secret. You better hope that the guy is going to keep it secret too! Since you are mutual friends, it may slip out if he tells his girl. |
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?
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No way, I found out about my husband's affair and it crushed me, it stole so much from me emotionally and mentally, I wish I didn't know. I wish he could have changed without me finding out. If you truly regret it and know you won't do it again than change who you are and work on your marraige. Fix whatever problems drove you into another man's arms and take your secret to the grave. |
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darchangel_3
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There is NO GOOD answer to this one. Telling him yourself might be slightly better than if he finds out on his own (which he may eventually)
either way there are going to be reprecussions of some sort... |
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Randy J
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If you can keep your hands to yourself and be cool about the emotions involved with the other person, I'd say stay quiet. It's past, and unless you're prepared for the s**t-storm involved in revealing a past once-only infidelity, you're wisest to let it lie. Little of positive value can be achieved from exposing the event.
Besides, it's not an 'affair' (an emotional and physical attachment), sounds like it was just a pity mutual-comfort thing.
ANd NEVER do it again. |
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whisper001
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say nothing |
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sassywv
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I disagree with every one else..only once and we both felt neglected is the biggest cop-out in the world. If your still hanging with the couple, who's to say you won't cheat again? How would you feel if you saw on here where your husband had an affair with her? Where is it written that if you cheat once don't say anything but if done twice you tell all? I think you should break with your friends and when your husband asks why you no longer want to hang with them tell him the truth..maybe if you were neglected before and you tell him so he won't do so again. A real marriage is built on truth and honesty...from what the others in here are saying they don't believe in marriage or the sanctity of marriage |
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S K
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There's no good reason to tell him. You made a mistake. Don't make a second one. |
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jake
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NO NONONONONONONONONONONO |
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carouselsrock
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Are you absolutely positive that they other man will take it to the grave? If you answered yes then I would let well enough alone. If you answered no you might be better off telling hubby.
I would start with something like, "I did something stupid that I think you should know about." Make sure he knows it was a 1 shot deal and that you don't want there to be any secrets between the 2 of you even bad ones. |
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jizzyroll
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yes you should and if he decides to leave you it will be your own fault. you should have never cheated in the first place.And if he decides to forgive you get down on your knees and give thanks to God and promise to never do it again. |
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lollipop
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NO!!! telling him is only to make you feel less guilty. Never. Never tell him. If something comes up deny, deny, deny. |
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The Man
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OK the answer is different for different people, but...
if it only happened once a while ago then there wasn't a "real" relationship right so there isn't any "real" reason not to tell him.
plus would you rather he found out you weren't being honest with him
on the other hand...
If it was only a one-time-thing then there really isn't anything to tell him is there.
This is a hard choice to make, so please think about it and choose wisely. |
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I want to know
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NO, NO, NO, NO, don't do it. |
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H.B.K. 2
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To what point and purpose? To break up the marriage. keep your mouth shut. |
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?
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Why would you tell your husband that you had an affair? So that YOU will feel better? Are you seriously willing to potentially destroy your marriage and lose all of your husband's trust because YOU can't handle the guilt? My advice is to learn from your mistake, keep your mouth shut, and live with the guilt that YOU created for yourself. It's the price you pay for being an unfaithful wife, despite your EXCUSE of claiming to feel neglected at the time! |
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Molly B
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Why trash not only your marriage but the friendships involved if it isnt going to happen again? Whats to be gained? A clear conscience on your part? Its selfish to hurt so many people just so you can feel better about yourself......which you probably wont anyway. |
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harvman
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ARE YOU NUTS?
Only tell him if you want a divorce woman.
You would be wrecking 2 marriages |
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jude
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telling him will give u no benefits, there is no gain from this, and he will never see u the same way. if he doesn't know u need to keep it this way unless u want a divorce. |
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sugar
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what he doesn't know won't hurt him.... |
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sweetpee
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Telling him will only make you feel better, get out the guilt; but you will destroy him. Sure, he will eventually get over it, but he might do it without you. And of course there is the scenario that if you do tell him, he will never let it down. Every little fight you have or discussion, he will point it out and there it goes again. If it was just a one time thing keep it to yourself and stop hanging out with these people. Feeling neglected means there is more going on underneath. Get that resolved first. |
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aprayer4u2004
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No!!!! But you need to work on your marriage. Why would you go outside your marriage for intimacy? It had to have been there before. People always want to get over other side of the fence; but always fall off. Don't cause your husband undue heartache; you are the one who need to get her act together. |
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steemshovel
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NONONONONONO!!!
Things happen.... |
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