Should I trust my husband? Read the details please!?

Carolee C

No, you are not being unreasonable. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Therefore, I am convinced that he's hiding something since he does not like for you to ask him what he does when he's out, and doesn't like for you to call his cell when he's out. How old is this man and how long have you been married? Sounds to me like a little growing up is in order. Why don't you ask if you can go out with him sometime? See what he does. And ofcourse he's going to tell you to trust him and that he won't cheat...they all say that. What would he do if the roles were reversed? Would he be upset with you?
I don't necessarily think that it's wrong for a married man to go to a bar, every now and then with friends for a little bit. But yes, I do think it's odd that he goes out for that long. And that you aren't aloud to call him. That sounds a little fishy.

chipmunk

You should go to the bar with him when he goes out, especially since he stays out so late. A married man doesnt have any business going out with friends and coming home at those hours. Something is going on and it doesnt sound right.

Plus, since he gets so defensive about it, he is giving himself away. He is acting like a single man. You have every right to question and call him.

You need to get down to the bottom of this. No. You are NOT being unreasonable.

Wifa 4 Lifa

I don't feel that you're being unreasonable, but I feel that you should make your opinions known and how they make you feel. I understand ocasionally, your husband might want a night out with the guys but if he does this always, then I think that's unacceptable. He sounds like he's trying to live the single life when he is already married and committed to you. If this does not change, I suggest that you make an ultimatium, if nothing happens then I suggest you move on. Good Luck!

ibrushallday

dump him

Dr. Kim

Ask to go with him. If he wont let you then ask him why.
He might be going out to hang out, theres not evidence of him cheating. If he says to let him be, then let him be if you can handle it. I personally do not think that it is right for a commited man or woman to go out to a bar without their partner. If you cant trust him then you need to rethink your future. Thats the most important part of the relationship.

manderin

No, it is not unreasonable at all. For one, you are married, so I think that gives you every right to question where he is and when he will be home. Its one thing if he goes to a bar occasionally with his friends, but it is quite another if he is going there practically every night. Getting drunk every night is pretty irresponsible to, and yes I agree it could lead to potential cheating. If your husband felt he wasn't doing anything wrong, he would easily be able to tell you where he is and when he will be home. Marriage requires honesty and if I were you, I would not put up with this behavior from him.

Littlemissy

No, you are not being unreasonable! No married man should be hanging out anywhere at 2,3,or 4 in the morning. He needs to be home with his family. Please don't be stupid!!!

Putet

To tell you the truth my answer would be No, you are not being unreasonable.

Is it right for a married man to go to a bar question, well i guess it should really be ok if he wants to go for a boys night out and go drinking but to some certain limitations. He shouldnt get angry at you when you call him up and ask his whereabouts because you were concerned. If it was me, i would be worried if my wife didnt call me up.

Food for thought, no matter how pass out drunk i have been before, still im able to think off someone i love more to not cheat on her with anyone else. So in turn, your husband may be speaking the truth of the statement that he wont cheat on you. Still i do not aggree on his behaviour. IMO you should treat your gf/wife/bf/husband the same way like the first time the two met.

sorry if this is too long. take care now and i wish you both happiness.

John doe

I can't stand all the magpies that answered this question. Listen up broad....I am 100% certain he behaved like this before you got married and you knew about it. Now that he gives you an expensive ring, and the right to half his crap, you want to change the deal and change his behavior. That isn't what he signed up for lady... No dude wants to be out with his buddies and have his wife calling every half hour, he gets razzed.....You do not want to be known as the ***** at home.... Sorry your bait and switch tactics aren't working out.... I like how your post is so one sided on this particular issue so of course every broad that responds will "agree" with you.

msthinkpositive

No, you are not being unreasonable, because He's already cheating. Now its a matter of if you can tolerate it or straighten things out between the two of you from what's caused him to start. He's going to deny it and you shouldn't bring it up until you can prove it, but you have all of the signs from what's been said. There should be no reliable reason for a married man to be out side of his home at 4 or 5 am unless his job causes him to work these hours. Other than this only wh________ & home wreckers are accessible for them to be with willingly. The cell phone is a start for getting proof if you have access to the bill, then start keepping track of his time, and his so call reasons for being out to catch him in his lies. Also, call him and ask for him to call you back when he's out this late because of your being worried & wanting to make sure he's OK. He won't call until he's not in their site. All the while you are doing this, make up your mind on what you want to do for your happiness. If he finally admits his indiscresions, then maybe councelling might be an option to get the marriage back on track. If not, do what you need to for you & kids if there are any.

fyodr1

Are you an Indina. As far as I know only Indian or Muslim women think like that

bhadguy

just ask him, what would he do if you behaved the same way thus you can move accordingly if he answers from heart

Mardi D

I'd lose that one! In a big hurry!

Lissa

IF he has never given cause for worry (still pays attention to you physically and dotes on you,) I wouldn't be worried. If he ignores you, I might be questioning his actions. My husband goes out with his friends to the bar and I don't have a problem wiith it. I trust him immensly. He RESPECTS me enough to ask me if its okay if he goes. I don't ever say no. I don't know when he will be home and its okay, I'm not his keeper. I know where he is because out of RESPECT he tells me. If I need him, he'd come home. If your husband does not respect you enough to tell you where he is going and what he's doing, then there is a very solid problem. It's hard to trust someone whe they don't respect you. I would consider having a friend follow him or hire a professional. While devious, it will solidify your feelings either way. Have you tried talking to him? Let him know you don't like being home alone or what ever your reasons for not liking him out late. Be honest. Take a step back though and ask yourself if you are being to demanding or controlling. Do you allow him his freedom? Men need time to play with the boys so they can complaign about us. Perhaps address things differently. Explain you don't care that he goes out, but that he is married to you and you deserve at least the respect of knowing where he will be and with who.Explain that its because if he doesn't come home, you want to know who to check with in case he was in an accident and lying hurt on some back country road. Use reverse psychology and encourage him to go out with his friends, at the same time, make him commit to taking you out another night. Last but not least, consider counseling.

occasional optimist

been there done that.. I used to question myself like you. DON'T question your rights Girlfren! You have every single right to question his whereabouts cos u r his wife. He gave you that right when he married you.

â˜†skyblue

I'd probably follow him a couple times he goes out, or have someone he doesn't know follow him. If everything looks like innocent fun, then you probably have nothing to worry about. How about going out with your friends until 5am and see how he likes it?

leon11357

your not being reasonable, I mean its ok to do that every once in awhile but if he does it all the time, then that is some problems. next time he comes home, smell his clothes see if there is any womens perfume on it.

If you really want, hire a private investigator to follow him and see what he is doing.

maslyn_jl

Do you have reason to believe he is cheating or doing something that he shouldn't be? It isn't right for him to go out all the time and leave you behind. Why don't you ask to go with him??

Jessica

Your husband always goes out to bars?
He stays out until 4 or 5 in the morning?
He always gets drunk?

Honey....he's up to no good.
Don't buy into this "you should trust me" and "I would never cheat".

If this were true, he'd be home with you or out with you instead of his friends.

I'm all yours

You really know the answer yourself, don't you? He's not husband material and you should get out now while you can.

Froggie

I think he is being selfish if he is going out all the time, but every once in awhile is ok. Has he ever cheated? Even if it is every once in awhile, he shouldn't care if you call unless he is being a bad boy. Me and my hubby had some probs before...if you wanna talk my e-mail is froggiemamaof3@yahoo.com
Goodluck

seeking

that don't sound right and for him to get an attitude it sounds like you stipping his flow and he don't like that. sounds like he want to live his life and so what he want to do. he is dead wrong. he could be looking for something. but he is lookin in the wrong places.

he is up to no good and appears to be selfish, loser!!!

saraidan

Obviously something is sending you signals that things are going to good, I think every relationship should have trust but if you feel like somethings going on, then it might be, your hubby shouldn't be hanging out like that all the time. He must be up to something, I mean when you ask him whats he doing and whens he gonna come home, Do you think he's gonna say he's with some other chick. It's ok to have trust in your relationship but dont let him walk all over you. If he wasn't up to something then why is he getting so defensive. Maybe you need to start going out and getting a new life... or at least start having some fun....you know he's having a good time. Your not being unresonable..something is giving you signals that he's upto something!! Let me tell you, alot girls go through that crap......Dont let him bring you down.

Why not me

unreasonable no, he's married & shouldn't be out 4-5 in the morning he needs to be @ home not out with guys. u ever think of going with him sometimes?

robin

I'd be pretty suspicious. He wouldn't be so defensive if he wasn't hiding something.

He should want to spend quality time with you, not out at the bar.

sd_danandy

Did he do this stuff before you were married, and it was okay with you? If this is a new thing, then be very concerned, if he has always done this, then don't try to change him.

javelin

Are you stuck at home with the kids? If not call him and tell him you are bored and want to join him. If he is not quilty of anything this should not be a problem. How often does he do this, weekly is not cool, maybe once a month might be okay, but 4 or 5 am is distrubing on a regular basis. Now, what you need to do is plan a girls night out without him, same rules and expectations. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. In fact, I bet his friends girlfriends or wives feel the same as you and want to go out so have him give you some numbers. He should be totally cool with all of this, if not he's up to something, and dump him.

greenbaypackers1920

you are right tell him then stop going to the bar.. made me think u are cheating on me and also i do trust you and worry that you been drinking and not thinking twice.

JustMe

Honestly, I'd dump him. He's married now, not single anymore. Going to bars and staying out till 4 needed to end when he got married. Doesn't sound like he will change so either you need to eat it or leave. I'd leave.

Jen

Sorry but i think he is already cheating on you......I don't think that there is anything wrong with going out once in a while with the guys to a bar but all the time? and til 4or 5 in the morning? Don't think so.......where i live the bars close at 3 so where is he til 4or 5...........with someone else.........I would keep a closer watch on his ***........

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