Should husband help with housework?

Liv

He should be house trained, its not something to be proud of never having made a bed at 33. He should be a bit embarrassed really. Unfortunately if you keep doing everything for him, he will never learn.

If he earns good money and refuses to help, suggest he pays for a cleaner once a week to help you out, as he shouldn't expect you to do it all, house work isn't the most rewarding way to spend time, and you certainly don't get any thanks for it.

Good Wifey

Do not force him but honestly share your feelings with him. Let him do things that are not a big deal to him rather than something that is overwhelming and he may for get and that creates and argument.
My husband washes all of the clothes and helps out when needed. It is not an everyday thing but he is willing to help.

Satanic Brainsmasher

Tell him to get off of his sloppy A** and clean the toilets.

mrs_G

Well, MY husband is 49--far more "old school" than yours is. He is always happy to help around the house.
Your friends are right, stop mothering and be his wife-don't pick up his clothes for a while. When he runs out of anything to wear, maybe he'll be able to get them to the laundry!

kittycat8299

Im a stay at home mother and my husband is the worker. I dont expect him to clean the house. But my husband doesnt create messes for me. We try to set an example for our children so if my husband didnt pick up after himself then the children wouldnt think they needed to. I dont ask my hubby to make beds or anything but putting his dirty clothes in a hamper is not hard to do.. You just need to have a balance. So i would talk to your husband and just tell him your not asking him to clean the house while you sit and watch but simply keeping his clothes in a hamper, and his dirty dishes in a sink is just respect for your home!

metzkeb

Looks like you married the wrong man. Leave him, or prepare for a life of servitude.

Laura

So does your part time job income go to the household or is that your pocket money?

If he pays all the bills and takes care of you it is only fair you take care of the chores. I'm not saying being a housewife isn't a real or hard job, I'm just saying if that is your job then don't expect him to do your work for you.

My man does half of the chores, but we both work full time and each pay half of the bills.

Kari

No, he shouldn't be helping. And, if he makes that much money then you shouldn't even need to work part time. Stay home and be a wife. I know your soo young, maybe when your 28 you'll be a better wife.

distraught

lawyer or no lawyer,a slob is still a slob im a man and i do 3/4 of the housework i enjoy it not that im a clean freak but cleanliness is next to godliness.

Blade_III

If he doesn't mind, but you do mind, then it's on you. But if he expects the house to be clean, then you two need to have a long discussion about roles.

mommy of 4 boys

i agree if he makes enough money then hire a maid if not he should at least do some house work at least on his days off

hardcoded74

It really depends on what the work load in and out of the home is. If your husband has a high stressed job where he works more than 60hrs a week, and you do not then it is very nice of you to pick up the slack around the house. Having said that if the outside work situation were reversed I would expect him to pick up the slack.

If you both work equal hours outside of th home you should work equal hours inside the home.

maria n

..my husband is 1 year bigger then me and also doesn't work..home..at all..when i had a job i also worked home just myself and took care of the baby..

he must be involved in working for house.

you can tell him..like this..when you are home..and in a suitable moment ..let''s do this..-i mean togheter....and first imply him in eassy things..to do..until he acomodates..and learns..and get used..

my husband put flowers and made barbecue..on weekends and occasionally..sometimes even wash a dish or so..also on week end when making barbecue..just this...

missmojo78

Wow, this is really something you should have talked about before marriage. Yes, he should be helping, but it sounds like you married a lazy slob. I have seen many couples divorce over this issue. Marriage should be a partnership. Sure he is working FT and successful, but he should at least help maintain the house and do SOME chores. You married a man child.

i_make_me_mad

Sounds like the type of guy that's not going to help...so the best thing to do is try and make him, not be so messy...have him put his clothes in a hamper instead of the on the floor...if you get his food for him then he can put his plate in the sink, make the bed together, him on one side and you on the other, small things like this will make your marriage healthier...start with a few small changes and then when he develops good habits add a few more...at then end of the day.. I think you'll be much happier

corinea

You can't make someone do something they don't want to do but if you can have a talk with him and come to an agreement that he picks up after himself and puts his cloths where they belong it would be a great help maybe he would be willing to do that if not let his cloths go and if he runs out of cloths because they weren't were they were suppose to be then he goes to the office naked

originata

Your friends are talking out the side of their necks and I assume they are your age. Since he does most of the working, then you should be doing the bulk if not all the housework. End of story. This has nothing to do with feminism, the patriarch, or being old school. Like you said, he doesn't require you to do these things, it's you who can't stand the mess. Of course no one likes to pick up after anyone else, but there are others to handle this than to make this about feminist nonsense.

Katie M

I am married to a slob too. My standards are much higher than his are and I've learned that if I want to live in a home that is clean and comfortable it's my job to keep it that way. My husband doesn't care if the house is a mess or if there's filth everywhere. He knows I'm a good housekeeper but he doesn't really notice one way or the other.
Bottom line is, since I'm the one who can't live in a messy home, I'm the one who should keep it clean. My husband works his butt off and I work part time too so I feel like it's the least I can do.
Don't let your friends try to guilt you into creating a battle that you can't win. If you want to stay married to this guy you're going to have to choose your battles. Good luck.

In love with my soldier

Of course he should help with housework, he lives in the house too. My husband enjoys helping with housework, laundry, and cooking..because it's time we get to spend together. Keep in mind though that you can't force someone to do anything, but he should definitely be helping you out!

Tilley

depends, if you are a stay at home mom, then the house work is your job,

kittysue2000

Are you in a partnership or are you his maid? Both partners need to contribute to household chores. Maybe find things he doesn't mind doing. My dad, for example, doesn't mind vacuuming, washing the dishes or folding laundry, but you would never find him cleaning the toilet or shower. He also does all of the work in the garden and is responsible for cleaning the garage, washing the cars and taking out the trash

As long as you are both sharing in duties it's fine

Darrick

If he has that much money and that is what you care about then do the work your self or hire a maid. You are not about to change him and why should he all you care about is his money?

greenfingers

You are unlikely to get him to change and if he doesn't notice the mess he will never be bothered by it.
On the other hand you are bothered so why not ask him (being a well payed attorney) to let you have the money to hire a cleaner?
You will no longer get stressed at picking up after him or he will be loath to part with the cash and start to clear up after himself.

llibmum

He could help out just by picking up his stuff after him. So what if hes the one earning, just an offer of help would make all the difference. My partner works hard too but hes always willing to help out with dishwasher, ironing (sometimes!) and hoovering. It makes for a happier home and less resentment.

mem11363

Let me give you "his" side of this because I was the high dollar earner in our house, my wife was a sahm. We simply agreed that I would not go out of my way to make her job harder. But she freely admitted that my job was:
- More stressful
- Way more time consuming than her activities

So no, there was no reasonable basis for me doing that stuff and I didn't.

China Doll 3

No, it would not be a good idea.

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