Should i be freaking out about the number of men my wife has been with?

Can't stand this

No, we all tell lies because we are embarrassed by our past. Don't give her a really hard time, she just didn't want to tell you and to be honest... I wouldn't want to tell anyone either... Don't be scared, your married and you've been together for 4 years... don't sweat the small stuff...

Lady In Waiting

I would only be freaking out if she had not been tested for any STDs - or if she's still leading a pretty wildly social lifestyle.

vis

as long as your the last it should not matter

Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess)

Has she been with any of them since she's been with you?

If not, then don't worry about it. It's in the past. You can't change it, so there's no use obsessing about it.

If she HAS been with others since you've been together, that's a whole 'nother issue that has nothing to do with "how many partners" and everything to do with "infidelity".

Thinkaboutit

No, unless she hasn't been checked for STDs.

piercing_beauty96

what makes you want to freak out? the amount, the fact that you dont have that much experience, the fact that she does? You chose to be with her for a reason, did she not tell you this until after you married? can you blame her for not telling you the proper number, look at how upset you are over it. unless she slept with any of these men while she was with you, it is a waste of energy and hurtful to your relationship to assume that it makes a difference. we spend so much time searching for that perfect someone that when we actually find them, we freak out and want to change them to fit what we think is proper. so she has a past. I am sure there is a lot abvout your past that you arent proud of either. it doesnt make her a bad or unfaithful person. if she is disease free, faithful to you, and trusted you with this information...then you need to be a good husband and stand by her side. you chose to marry her, so why should her past change how you feel about her now? she is still the same person you married. how would you feel if the situation were reversed? would you want her to trust that you love her and that it was all in the past or would you want her to freak out and judge you for your past? think about it and I hope it all works out. try talking to her about what is really bugging you about the entire situation, maybe she can ease your worries.

Gabrielle

Yuck!!!!!

cope_acetic

Hon, everything that she did before she met you is what made her HER--the lady you fell in love with.
Take away anything at all, and she is no longer that person.

Let the past stay in the past, and work toward the future.

Go GO Ressa

Aren't you the one with the wife for a drunk? Why are you surprised. We told you that she was doing her thing. Why on earth are you two talking about how many people you have been to bed with? Are you drunk too? Andrew, put the bottle down! Go toward the light!!!

darlin

It doesn't matter, maybe she was a nymphomaniac and thats nothing to be concerned about, I am sure thats all outgrown, just took her time to find the right man. Maybe the diseases she could have picked up would be a concern, I think Herpes is one common one and I think if you have kids, it would be a concern if she did have that.

Otherwise, it's in the past, so NO it shouldn't really matter, it's cool she was honest with you. I wouldn't sweat it, those college years can tend to be quite FUN!!!! and she is past all that now, be glad for that.

I totally agree with ACE!!!!! If you changed anything about her past, she wouldn't have been the one you fell in love with.

Mephisto

what is the issue?
if you want out, just say so...

0123456789

thats way up there but no record.
Go to consuling about this
It helped me understand.
It didnt save my marriage but I understood why

Rein

She was a very busy girl!!! Feel flattered that she chose you.

Maggie Mae

My husband and I got together when I was in my mid thirties, he was in his late thirties. We had both been married previously. How many women he has been with is not something I even want to know! How many men I have been with is irrelevant to him as well. I don't understand what your wife is attempting to accomplish by telling you these things. It has obviously upset you - and for good reason. I think I would be wondering why she wants to hurt you this way, more than if you should be freaking out about the number.

Jai

It's too late for that now!!!!!!!!!!!

new MAC-er

If you really bother the fact she is being with so many man just leave her; but were you a virgin when you married her?If you love her and can't deal with that, just don't try find garbage you have not lost, it will just hurt, after all you chose her.

Kathy R

Darlin, the past is the past. She's with you now and that's all that should matter.

Helen W.

It's the present that matters, not the past. If you've got a good relationship and she's faithful, let it go; you've nothing to gain by making a big deal about it and a lot to lose. And getting upset won't change the past.

nidan

as long as there have been no others since you have been together what do you care?

48Special

No!! Why now?? You should have been freaking out when she told you 26, so why does 60 really make a difference? Plus you have been together and married for 4 years and you haven't said that things were bad, so Be blessed she chose you to marry and enjoy the time you spend together with the woman you love and married.

Joox

don't sweat it. I didn't make a fuss about the other 59 guys before me.

jeff b

If you're not yanking our chain, your wife has probably accumulated half of those 60 guys while you've been together. Hence the reason she previously told you 26. And based on your earlier question about her going to bars but "not cheating", she is probably in fact giving it away like Halloween candy.

Sabres Girl

I don't know about 60 men. She might of had some sort of confrontation with 60 men, she kissed, went out on a date with, etc. It's probably not those shes had a relationship with. I wouldn't worry about it either way. She married you. It's YOU she loves, not however many men shes done whatever with in the past.

Good luck and have a great night.

emmyfair

Go easy on her. It took a lot of time for her to open up to you and tell you the truth, so she's likely feeling pretty vulnerable and scared about it right now. If you throw it back in your face, you'll maybe end up with a divorce, so be kind. She loves you enough to be your wife and tell the truth, which is probably way, way more than she ever gave those other guys.
The main point is her faithfulness now. The lack of phisical virginity never doomed a marriage, but the lack of practical chastity does every time.

Alwyn C

What she did in her life before you has nothing to do with you. As long as she is faithful to you now, that is all that matters.

starting over

talking about this will only make you dwell on it longer than you should. so she's experienced, so what. she ended up with you, right? you either forget about her past and go with her into your future, or you don't
blessings and luck to you

Nick20

yeah 60 by 26? that doesnt leave time in her earlier years for any serious relationships......either you are made of gold or another stop on the tour....but yeah it would bother me

superstar

Well, if you have a wonderful relationship (besides this new thing you found out) I think you should put it behind you and have a happy marriage.You can't dwell on the past it made her who she is and she's still the person you fell in love with and married.Good luck;)

Chuck

get a blood test.

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