Should i betray my hubby ?

monkeymomma46

You shouldn't do it just because he did it to you !! That would be for all the wrong reasons!! Two wrongs don't make a right !! It only will or could make things wrose for you too ! You have to givce your self time to work through what he did to you, you have to go through the pain, the hurt.... you shouldn't jump right into another relationship after being hurt like this!! you can get hurt again you know??!! you need time for your self tofigure out what you want in life !! yes you can forgive but not forget! No it'snot easy and never will be! Yes it take two if you want to work it out! He has to do everything you ask of him if he wants you to forgive him. You can't keep bringing it up If you stay with him and choose to forgive him, or it won't work !! Maybe go to counsleing together !! If its what you want, then go to counseling with him or what ever you need to do , do it, if you need to talk to him about it then he must listen!! and must talk ! you have togo through the process of everything and in time you will know if you want to stay with him or not, is he worth it or no? you will knw later, ask your self alot of questions about your reaationship ! out way the good and the bad in him !! write down all the good about him and then write down all the bad about him, read it over and over, then which is greater the good or the bad?? So you;ll know if it's worth trying to work it out or not ! Good luck !

Scrunt Bunny

Don't do it!!!!!!! You would be putting this married guy's wife in the same position you were in. Think how you felt when you discovered that your hubby was cheating on you.

Nikki H

Right now you are feeling hurt, let down, and angry. I think that the only reason that you even went online is to get back at your husband, however two wrongs don't make a right. Don't do something that in years to come you will regret it. It's his lose! If you can't get over it and think that you should get out of the relationship then divorce him and then look for someone better. Just don't do it while you are still married. Keep your dignity and rise above the situation. There will be a day in time where he will realize that he miss used the best thing that ever happened to him.
By the way, the guy you are talking to is married. Why place the same hurt and pain on another woman that your husband placed on you. You know how if felt for your husband to cheat on you, don't let it happen to another being. Sure, if you don't cheat with him, he'll probably find another willing lady to cheat with. If he was such a outstanding guy then he wouldn't be looking for women to talk to on the Internet anyway.
Keep your head up and don't stoop to his level; be better than that.

Master M

Unfaithfullness leaves you heartahce, and now you are going to do the same thing? Think twice before you go down that road because you will never get a second chance. If you betray your husband, then you are no better than the person you claim betraying you.

riteon

Your husband cheated on you, you know the pain it causes and yet your willing to turn around and cause that pain to another woman. Geez, that's really big of you.
I'd throw the bum out that cheated on you and forget about cheating with a married man. Two wrongs don't make anything right.

luscious0071

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Enough said!!!!!

bibi

There is no greater pain in this world then to be cheated on by a spouse. So, yes, I can relate to all the feelings you are having. And you probably thinks that by cheating on him will make you feel better, NOPE it wouldn't, you will not feel any better, just worse. If you think your marriage is at a dead end and it is not worth trying, then do the honourable thing and walk out.

Why would you want to put another woman through exactly the same pain that you went through? Tell that dumb a** husband of hers to get off the computer and spend time with his wife.

llgreen_1

Yes. Give him another chance. He did not do it to hurt you. If he was trying to hurt you, he would have threw it all up in your face. Right? The affair was his mistake and I bet he is very sorry. Believe me, my husband and I have been through this.

You'll never forget it, but the hurt does go away. You got to keep things going the way they were at the beginning. Be his wife, lover, friend. Love him, love him, love him. And then pray all the time. ALL THE TIME. God will fix this.

Make hubby wonder... "what the hell was I thinking?"

Oh yeah... leave that online friend alone. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

donna k

first off the other guy is married do u want to hurt her the way your husband hurt u your husband screwed up **** happens he sounds sorry for it and i think he deserves another chance just keep a close eye on him until he gains your trust back people make mistakes we're only human

sogerd

Hello,

First - your husband is a cheater, and the odds are very high that he will cheat again! Also, your husband has no respect for you, and that is why he has cheated.

Do not ask him to divorce you - you need to divorce him! You are the one with grounds. Eventually, you will need to forgive him - (hate the sin, not the sinner). But, you also need to have enough respect for yourself that you can move on - and move up to a better man. (A real man is not weak in his relationship with his wife!)

I know that there is a tendency to go for 'tit for tat' - but please do not do so with your on-line friend! Why would you put his wife through what you have just felt?

Did she do something to you?

Also - if the guy you have met on-line is married -and- 'cyber-cheating' on his wife, what makes you believe that he would not do the same thing to you, if you both divorced your current spouses and hooked up/married each other? Neither of you would trust each other - and you would be basing the new relationship on a basis of disrespect!

The best thing you can do with/for your on-line friend is to respect his marriage - and his married status. Do not discuss _anything_ (and do NOT make phone calls!!!) that you would not want to have his wife 'find' - or if he has older children (reading age) to find, and read to the family during Thanksgiving dinner (for instance).

If he complains about his wife - scold him for that! He is in a marriage, and if nothing else, he needs to work on _that_ relationship!

Get your own divorce from the little boy you have discovered you married - then go forward, and find a fantastic man who will treat you like a woman who has self-respect and therefore deserves the love and respect of her husband! And, whatever you do, do NOT sink to the same low-life level of your present husband!

mrleruelewis

Baby I said I was sorry what more do you want from me ?
I didn't love that old hag , I love you . It was a mistake I'm sorry , I'm sorry . My Love for you never changed and never stopped. She didn't mean anything to me , please don't do this to me.............what more can I say ? what do you want me to do ? I'll do anything ,but just don't leave me...

Bearess

If you do that, you are then the same selfish idiot as he was; also the same ***** that she was to your marriage- because this other guy is also married.
Are you as pathetic as they are, or better than that?
Just because you got screwed, does not give you liscense to do the same to others. How selfish of you to think that way.
Trying to justify your actions is only evidence that you already know that it is wrong- otherwise you wouldn't be asking.

nazia f

now u r acting like ur hubby. u can believe him at least one time. do u have any child? if u have then do it thinking about him/her. i think u should give him one chance.

if you can't forgive then you must move on.
remember this: two wrongs don't make a right.

Jane D

I can understand why you would feel hurt and betrayed. but if you love him and you still want this marriage to work out then you hvae to do more than forgive. another words if you forgive him you have to really mean it and not bring it back up in his face again or any time you have a fight throw this ex lover in his face. this will only cause more friction and tension in your marriage this is a time to heal. we all make mistakes some worse than others but we can forgive and move on if thats what both of you want. some men have private affairs for 10 years or more you just happened to find out.

now about this married man you met on line you think you could have something. think about this are you doing this cause your angry and hurt by what your hubby did so your doing this to get revenge or get him back or even hurt him . cause if you say yes to any of these its not good in the end for you both.

also this married man is probably lacking something in his own marraige whether it be a cold wife or a woman who doesn't care about his needs or lack of communication. but they won't leave there wives or there children very few anyways. so you will just be a lady on the side for him can you live with that. and give him what he's lacking from the other woman but can't expect the same treatment back in return as you know he isn't willing to do more than what you two have planned on chat. so you will have to think of all these things and find out if you can live with doing this. and if your found out and caught you have to be ready for the worst or maybe your husband will forgive you back. its hard to say only you two will know when you have gone through it.

I would say to back off. two wrong dont' make a right and this could snowball into something much worse if your both doing this to get back at the other. If you love him work it out forgive and move on . whats happen is hard for you yes. would be hard for any woman i would think but if you can get passed this and you still love him you will both find a way to work things out.

good luck

spiritualcipher

cheat on ur husband, but not with a married guy. no need spreading the karma...

tara t

if u have children plan about them first.U know that during those 15 years u have not done all your best to keep your relationship exactly sizzling.Why fume now when he lit up little fire of his own to save himself from your coldness and realized that can't get it going ,so put it off.If you continue the way you are ,new Sparks are not far away.As to your intentions to betray him,it is clear that you too have always secretly desired to seek alternative excitements;only thing you have been a timid and coward person who didn't have the courage.And who knows<you might have already done something fishy which might have made your husband retaliate.only thing his retaliation could find enough fodder for the fire.So just don't try to act a martyr and look harder within you.Only vital thing here is future of kids if you are a real person and planning to have your fling.

sadgreeneyes3

divorce your husband, once a cheater always a cheater and if you take him back he'll do it again thinking that you wont leave him...if you're going to be with someone else let it not be someone who's married cause then your being as low as your husband...

I don't understand how you could even conceive forgiving him, someone who lied and betrayed you like that can't possibly care about you...

espee

Well ur question is very simple and is a fact which has to be accepted. U said that u had a wonderful life for 15yrs ditching him back would make no impact on a person. If u really want to continue with ur husband I think meeting some other person isnt the solution. If this had to be done it had to be done long time ago. I seems justified to u coz ur husband did a mistake, why do u also want to commit the same as him. I understand its difficult to forget the pain. But time is the best medicine u have to give some time for it to vanish. If it doesnt then maybe u can choose to live without him and then go ahead with ur facies but not really with him. It would then put a bigger issue before the both of u.

the_silverfoxx

you know how you felt where you was cheated on. well think how the other person will fill if they find out what you have been throught . no. dont drop to your husbands level . and show him you are a better woman than he is a man . in my opion?

Goodspeed

I can never understand why someone would entertain doing exactly what they are complaining about...don't make the same mistake as your hubby. If you feel he is sincere, which I doubt, try and make amends, but continue with caution, so you don't get hurt again...sorry, not all men are pigs.

The Almighty Kevin

Actually you should not mess this guys marriage up just because your marriage failed and fell apart. I would go meet this womans husband and tell him about what his wife and your husband have done. Then take him to a hotel room and letthings go from there.

If he will not give you a divorce seperate from him ASAP !!!!! stay with friends or something. And don't waste your time with your husband.

Been there with an ex-wife that couldn't keep her pants zipped. Two wrongs don't make a right not to mention that it makes you lower yourself to be like the scum that he is. Divorce him. Regardless of the BS that everyone feeds you about everyone deserves a second chance - once a cheater always a cheater. If he found reason to do it the first time, what has changed? Did you get better looking or more attentive? Was he raped the first time he screwed this other woman? I think your best bet would be to dump this piece of garbage and look for a real man to spend the rest of your life with. There are many men that are faithful and true to their wives and it's because they were raised morally right to begin with. Good Luck sweetheart. I've always told my daughters - don't settle for a man that isn't better than old dad and he will treat you like you deserve to be treated.

alusha

to end all the trouble forgive your hubby and get out of the illusion..since you felt cheated and therefore you got attracted to this guy..if you don't want to be in trouble again..pls give ur hubby another chance

technical

You feel hurt because your hubby was doing wrong.
"Wrong" note the word.

Dont do wrong. You are not the worng kind of person. You will always do good, no matter what happens.

As for another chance to your hubby, its completely your decision. Think over it. Think a hundred times.
Decide:
If you want to leave him, leave him and tell him the reason.
If you want to give him a chance, tell him that you are giving him one last chance, and try to forget the past. It may be hard in the begining but life will be normal soon.

I pray for your happy life.

sexycat_1984

First of all dont cheat on him. If he ever found out then you would be left out in the cold. A man that can cheat on his wife for years and then come back to your bed is looking for a reason to make you feel like you are the one that *ucked everything up. Trust me men have a way to blame every and anything on woman if you let them. Play the warrior because you are better than that. He cant keep you from divorcing him. Hes telling you that it wont happen again...Well if you belive that....He cheated on you for how long? Dont you think in all the months that he cheated on you something inside of his brain would have told him that what he was doing was wrong. Well it didnt and he continued to do it anyway. Dont be weak...u better set the tone for this man and your relationship. He has taken you for granted for to long. If you want this relationship to work then i suggest that you both seek counseling together and if he isnt willing and the relationship cant go any further then you move on. But dont cheat then you will be just as wrong as he is. Besides the only reason that you want to cheat is to make him feel as hurt as you feel and this could back fire on you. If he isnt willing to make this work then he wont feel hurt just very very anrgy and he will just grant u your divorce and you will be the one still feeling hurt. Dont let him get away with what he has done, he needs to take ownership...I speak from a similar experience! Good luck and be stong, woman have taken crap for to long and its about time that we stand up for ourselves!!!

fluffy91bunny

you sholud sort things out with him.. you don't haf to betray him for pay back? if you cant help it anymore, just divorce him.. life is to be enjoyed.. don't fret over this.. can you see urself being sad and betrayed over this fr the rest of your life? you've got to move on with or without him.. firstly, can you see urself without him and happy in the future? can you see urself with him and happy in the future? take some time to think bout the love that you once had.. maybe it's still there.. you jus gotta look deeper...
"You think of the right thing to say just after you shut the door" - that's when it's too late.. so step back and have a talk.. think about what you have to work on and don't leave each other hanging.. i'm sure you want ur marriage to last. also, the other guy, he's married! what wil his wife feel if she found out? she'll feel the same way ur feeling.. betraying ur husband will make you somewhat the 'same standard' as the woman he was cheating you with.. do you wanna be the same person? so you knw, do the right thing.. i'm not saying what i'm advicing' is the right thing to do, i'm just suggesting... good luck [: all the best in ur marriage!

chaos for big sis

my husband did exactly the same thing to me and it end in Aug to the best of my knowledge what i want you to know is that you would definitely be the better person to at least give him one chance but you can't chat everyday to married man and feel that you get along because remember someone had you played for a fool so don't do what the woman did to your marriage, really try to let your husband show his promise to you and if he messes up then you would be freed from any guilt of a divorce knowing you were always the honest and faithful one. keyword honest meaning if you are chatting w/a married male and you truly don't see that it is improper then tell your husband or just stop the chatting and focus on how your husband of15 yrs is treating you please for your own peace of mind consider these things..you can only help you to be a better person

Kate

Cheating on your husband won't make the pain of him cheating on you go away. Besides if you get involved with a married man, think of the wife and what woud happen to her if she found out you guys were together.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: