Should i change something???????
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Should i change something???????
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My husband told me yesterday i was everything he always wanted and more!!! thats not the bad part, lately he has been very focused on going out, those who have answered my questions before might have read something about this....in any case, he said i should make friends and go out, obviously not now that im pregnant but eventually i should.
I have friends, they are just not intimate friends or best friends, i am 30 yrs old and i feel that my teenage years are over, i am very focused on my family that includes y new baby and him, and my career, i have very little time to socialize in the way he wants me to. He hasnt gone out in a bit, and i think he fears that after the baby comes which it could be in the next week or so, his life is going to be OVER!
This past wknd was very mellow, and we got to talk about my adventurous side, which it doesnt includes orgys or infidelities, is more, about rollercoasters, mountain hiking, traveling, he agreed with me he said he loves to do those things too and that very soon we will be doing that.
He also told that MEN do what they HAVE to do when their wives are pregnant, i told him that they most want to do it, that it shouldnt feel like a chore.
So here is what I THINK.....he is either trying to mentally prepare me for his future social life because he is eager to go out and thats why he wants me to have 300 girlfriends around so i can be entertained and not notice he is gone and need him as much as i would being by myself.....but we are adults and mature people that should be focused on the future, our lives, our baby, he should be focused on me not his lost social life....trust me he PARTEEEEEEE big time since he was 17 yrs old.
In my opinion a man that loves a woman genuinely acts more caring, more for the family, a couple in love tries to spend as much time as they can together because thats what they do, ive been there before, his planning should be based on us not JUST as a single man...
Any advice?????
Additional Details
He said do what they have to do in the sense of, HAVING TO STAY HOME, HAVING TO HELP, HAVING TO BE THERE even if they dont want to.
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its likely i will say douche bag
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It sounds to me his just trying to make sure that there is a balance between you, family life and a healthy social life as well.
He has encouraged you to make friends and go out, so that is good.
my wife and i spend a majority of the time together when not working, however she does go out to dinner once a week with her girl friends. i encourage it. My self, I don't have any friends near where we live because i chose to move away from my home town when we got married. I don't make friends to easily because strangers freak me out.
I'm happy with out going out with friends. |
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melizza
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This old lady who had been married for 40 years and had 5 lovely children told me that your husband is the sun and your children are the stars.
Your relationship with your husband is your first priority because when you are happy with each other the children will be happy. Many mothers make the mistake of putting the children before the husband.
Your husband sounds like he just wants to be out and about. Some people really need friends and social interaction to be happy. Do you want him to be happy or not?
Encourage his healthier hobbies and join him sometimes or cultivate your own and you guys will be fine. Start scouting babysitters. You will need more than one. |
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J C
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When your husband said that men do what they have to do while their wives are pregnant was his way of confessing to you that he has been cheating on you. Sorry. |
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Conflicted
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You really need to step back and evaluate your position on this. Your husband is just trying to maintain his individuality, and he's right to encourage you to do the same. Married couples (couples in general) should not spend every waking moment together. It's not healthy, and the relationship can get stale after a while because you're not being exposed to others and their thought processes. There's no room for real growth when you isolate yourselves into a little cocoon.
There should be a balance between your married life and your own personal time. |
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jhalies S
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you should go out do things together if not he might look for some one to do things with,if ur husband /wife gets boring of course your going to look else where,yes he should be very interested in his family but you guys are 30 no need to act like you are 60 many ppl with kids go out and enjoy time together have a carrer and work so why is it that you cant do that? 30 is young still you should have fun whether its traveling,dinner and a movie or a club for a night dont act as if you are in your 60's good luck hope tthings work out for you |
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What???
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I'm not sure how to advice you other than you have a very selfish, immature *** for a husband.
And I would either get counseling or kick his sorry *** out. Because men like him really don't get any better, just worse. |
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mallgirl746
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idk |
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angel09darling
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It's not that he's necessarily worried about his social life but it is inevitable that he's going to be thinking about how different his life's going to be. I think he's trying to reassure you that he will be there for you and your new family,even if he does enjoy going out.
As for trying to get you to socialise more,he's probably just worrying about you having some close friends of your own,someone you can turn to when you need to talk. I've been in a few long-term relationships and it ended up that all our friends were shared,I had nobody of my own I could talk to and I ended up depending too heavily on him because I had nobody else. I think your husband really is just trying to look out for you and make sure that you're not isolated once you have the baby because your lives will be changed forever. I hope things work out for you and I wish all of you the best for the future x |
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