Should i talk to him or leave it alone?

recently my husband and i have been doing really good considering that we were on the verge of ending everything that we have had. before i would tell him everything, all of my feelings and show him constant emotions. but he would never do that with me and i would always ask him to show me emotions and tell me how he feels and he always said i don't feel like talking to you about my feelings. that hurt me the most because i am supposed to be his wife and he doesn't even want to talk to me!
well now he's telling me sorry everyday and that he should have never treated me that way because i am the one for him and he doesn't want to lose me, but it's just really hard to open up again considering i cut off all emotions and feelings towards him. meaning i don't tell him how i feel, or cry in front of him or even get mad. i act dull and just there. i don't want to act like this but i think that i should do it because what if he goes back to his old ways and i'm left with the emotions and feeling helpless with him. i don't want to be the vulnerable one anymore and i don't know what to do. so do i tell him and see if we get better or do i keep my guard up and just let him see how it feels when i felt it??

i'm not a mean person and i have a heart of gold, i just want to know if i should let him break it once again or keep it locked

seastar

You know, that is very tricky it seems. I would like to say, as an open hearted person myself, that this may be the opportunity to take your relationship to the level you were wanting it on before.. I say, if you are going to stay with him and try to really be together, the only real choice you have is to respond with honesty. Even if you end up finding out he hasn't changed in communication, nothing would hurt you more than not taking the chance and I mean, what if he has had a genuine change of heart.. what he would need the most would be to know that you are there on that level. Don't be like the person who hurt you.. him, be yourself. It always feels better to be open and real, even if it hurts in the end.. thats just life disapointing you by not going the direction you thought it would.. is that really so bad and worth risking the heart of the person you love? You have a choice, that is the difference between you two it sounds like to me. He didn't have that same choice, he was just reacting in fear to what you were triggering..
if you are going to stay, I would say, take a chance on the one you married, don't let yourself down. Also, if you find that he shuts down emotionally again and your fear is accurate, you will be learning a very valuable lesson about your future together.. better now than later, and better to take that chance now than to wonder forever after what could have been if you didn't
Those are my thoughts on the matter. Good luck. Love is a very difficult road sometimes.
Sorry you have to be hurting.

mab5096

No point in keeping your heart locked up; it's unhealthy!
Be yourself always and if he reverts to his old ways then you have your answer.
If he doesn't then you'll BOTH be happy.

Prego

well, thats a tough one. A man doesnt really relate so much on feelings as much as a woman but more on success. By that I mean, to a woman her feelings have to be cherished and kept safe because it's almost how she defines herself. A man tends to define himself by his job, how other men and women judge him. So even if you told him how important your feelings are, most likely he wont realize the full extent. So knowing that, you have to make a choice. Do you guard your heart to the one you are to be the most vulnerable to despite conflicts? Or do you hide inside yourself and never give him the benefit of the doubt that he may really want to change. He may have seen the differance in you and put two and two together, and now he may be regretting it. or he could be trying to control you. But remember, part of the thrill of love is knowing, you can get hurt, you put your heart on the line anyways and they pulled through. I would suggest some books for you. They come from a stand point of the Bible... which has a lot of good marriage stuff in it. Books are Love and Respect, for women only and a book for the hubby is for men only. Give it a whirl.

Shan

How will you know if you dont try. There are somethings in this world worth taking a chance on. and if you LOVE him I'd say he defently worth you opening up to again and together ya'll try to work things out.
just think about if it works how much closer you'll be. Best Wishes

aloneinyourinsanity

If your not going to open up then there is no chance of your marriage working in the long run. Tell him how you feel and explain your adraid to get close to him again given the past. You need to be honest in order to move forward.

ladyren

You come off as a very needy lady. And guys don't do well with language anyway.

How old are you?

As my dad always said, "believe in what a man does, not what he says." And my dad was one very wise man.

Women live with men who constantly tell them that they love them and whisper sweet nothings in their ear, then go prong a new babe every time they are away..... you want that?

"Take yes for an answer" to all your questions of "Tell me how much you love me." "Tell me how many times you'd throw your body in front of a car to save me."

All this is crap.

Is he home? Does he take to to dinner? Does he treat you well?

Then hon, "take yes for an answer.'

Language for the most part is a girl thing. That's why gay guys are such great "girl" friends.

P1 Rubber Ducky

if you want him to open up to you have to let him back in.

alc04@verizon.net

Men aren't as emotional as women sometimes. Maybe he just wasn't ready to open up when you were. Men don't like to get emotional because they think its a sign of weakness. I would give him another chance but maybe you don't want to open up all at once. Take it slow. Good luck!

Gabriella

He is your husband. Regardless of how he acted in the past, what's important is that he is in tuned to you now. IIt will be really hard for you to move forward if you are stuck in the past.

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